never will enjoy killing, your fault, their fault or nobodies fault.

it's a dog eat dog world to be sure

have faced what could have been construed as deadly attacks against me twice

both times I could have put a quick end to the hostilities but instead tried to de-escalate till their was no other choice other than kill or be killed.

the first time the gang that attacked scattered when they saw the .45 so danger averted

the second time the guy's wife calmed him down long enough for me to escape. days later the guy saw me on the street and came over to apologize for acting like an asshole and to say that he was told that I was armed and that he deeply appreciated the fact that I let him live. we are somewhat good acquaintances now.

maybe I'm just lucky, I really don't know

what I do know is that for me causing death is the option of last resort

no haha's