Emotions and just tired of it all

I’m so tired of all the gaslighting. I’m tired of the outright lies I overhear from the teevee. (News that plays at my work, commercials I overhear as well… not my choice. I don’t watch teevee) When I hear blatant lies, I just want to cry or scream.

Children don’t have strokes on the regular. Healthy and fit 35 year olds don’t normally need medication to prevent strokes, blood clots or cardiac issues.

Men aren’t women and can’t have babies. Women shouldn’t have to give up feeling safe so as to not hurt men’s feelings.

I want it to stop. And I don’t want to pretend it’s all normal.

And on top of all that, my own memories constantly flood me with every emotion I ever felt during the event.

I can remember when I watched my oldest graduate from college and how proud I was. But also the sadness of knowing he wouldn’t need me to be his biggest encourager anymore. Or when my youngest was born with medical issues and how hard it was worrying if he would just stop breathing one night. (And he’s 13 now).

Every memory floods me with emotions. I didn’t used to be so emotional. I felt the emotions, sure, but I didn’t dwell on them. I was always able to just keep going and do what was next. And now, I am on the verge of tears at every moment.

I believe in God. I trusted Jesus to be my savior. I used to be able to pray for help. But now I feel like God has much bigger things to worry about than what’s going on in my life.

I’m just sharing. I know there will be some mean responses. But I appreciate those of you who are nice.