How am I supposed to deal with someone who constantly lies and gaslights me? | |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 80335803 United States 09/17/2022 02:17 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I've been abused in every way a person can be abused and I can tell you straight up nothing holds a candle to mental abuse and gaslighting. Nothing. Only other thing would be physical abuse that ends in death or lifelong permanent injury. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 82631459 Armenia 09/17/2022 02:19 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 83848603 United States 09/17/2022 02:22 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
X User ID: 84066222 United States 09/17/2022 02:22 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
roguetechie81
User ID: 79785318 United States 09/17/2022 02:23 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | The person in question is a family member. This person has been doing this to me my whole life, and it gets worse by the day. I try my best not to fight with this person, I let things go, I forgive. I explain that I don't like being gaslit, I don't like the mind games or the bullshit. This person says they won't do it again, and that they have no idea why they do it or why they lie so much. This person also claims to be a Christian, which I do not believe for several reasons. It's a long story. Anyway I'm at my wits end. How the hell am I supposed to deal with this shit? Is there any hope for this person to become normal? It's pure evil is what it is. Quoting: 1010. You're not supposed to deal with them that's the secret. They're a no win situation cut off contact and stop giving them your energy. roguetechie |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 80335803 United States 09/17/2022 02:28 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | This person claims that they never did drugs either. It truly is evil. I don't think it's some insane mental defect, because they speak English and they know the definition of words. What usually happens is with any given subject, the person will just make up things out of nowhere, spend an hour telling me something then completely switch and say the opposite in the same conversation. Then you ask which is it? What's the truth? The first thing, or the second thing? Then the person starts accusing you of God knows what. Anything. Then when the person finally admits they lied, they will then say it's not a lie. So then, you have to go into the definition of the word lie. They will agree with the definition of the word lie, yet insist that's not what they did, even though they just admitted to saying something that is not true. |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 80335803 United States 09/17/2022 02:28 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 80335803 United States 09/17/2022 02:30 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Vamps333 User ID: 71911903 United Kingdom 09/17/2022 02:30 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 82631459 Armenia 09/17/2022 02:32 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 81457142 Brazil 09/17/2022 02:34 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 80468311 United States 09/17/2022 02:36 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 81457142 Brazil 09/17/2022 02:36 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
PEEBALLS
User ID: 79316260 United States 09/17/2022 02:39 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Deplorable Zenobia
User ID: 83964349 United States 09/17/2022 02:40 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | But I lean towards Eastern philosophy and it's more like, 'OK, apparently we got unfinished business from past lifetime so I'm stuck w/ you again to get it right this time around, dammit!' That said, no matter how you lean philosophically, try to learn the lesson of accepting them for who/what they are w/ no hopes for changing. That way you limit your time/exposure. And that means cutting them out of your life, well, just send means having to only deal w/ them at family events, if that's a thing w/ your family. Good luck. It's all about acceptance and limitations. And thought struggles against the results, trying to avoid those unpleasant results while keeping on with that way of thinking. That is what I call 'sustained incoherence.' ...David Bohm “How, O Zenobia, hast thou dared to insult Roman emperors?” ...Aurelian, 44th Emperor of the Roman Empire |
Judethz
User ID: 79555498 United Kingdom 09/17/2022 02:40 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 81457142 Brazil 09/17/2022 02:43 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I've been abused in every way a person can be abused and I can tell you straight up nothing holds a candle to mental abuse and gaslighting. Nothing. Only other thing would be physical abuse that ends in death or lifelong permanent injury. Quoting: 1010. yes, it's very bad. i was married to a mental abuser and felt extrsme relief onc hd wasmout of my life. i have also fel relief and a reduction in stress since giving up on my brother, he lying gasligher and possible sociopahic narcissis. he did not learn these behaviours from our parents, probably from our half uncle and others. the half uncle's rapist father obviously spawned tainted progeny which 9ur grandmoher should have aborted or left a the orphange as he was a terrible influence on the family. h recenly died, i wish to God he damage he caused would be fixed for our family and others. |
RestoreTheAnger
User ID: 78146701 United States 09/17/2022 02:45 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 81872927 United States 09/17/2022 02:48 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 71567386 United States 09/17/2022 02:49 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | you can talk to them occasionally by email or phone but you never do anything for them and stay away time to create a new life with good people |
GreenAngel User ID: 7161062 United States 09/17/2022 02:49 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | cut ties. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 82631459 either do it now or suffer some more years. plenty of info on narcissists on this site. suffer or get them outa your life. your choice. Yup. I was the black sheep of mine. My sins and flaws were a free for all yet I was never allowed to stand up for myself or have boundaries. My hair started growing and that tension in my stomach was gone once I got them out of my life. Gaslighting is so evil it's ridiculous. And for someone like me who has no problem exposing myself and my wrongs I don't understand how people can be "high christians" yet play head games the way they do and never admit to being wrong. As hard as it is you literally have to cut them the hell off for YOUR HAPPINESS. Even if you have noone left it's better than anxiety and tension. You DESERVE peace. |
XJDUB
User ID: 1208594 Canada 09/17/2022 02:59 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 81457142 Brazil 09/17/2022 03:04 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | OP, there's an expression here in the deep South, don't know if it's anywhere else in the US....'you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family.' Quoting: Deplorable Zenobia But I lean towards Eastern philosophy and it's more like, 'OK, apparently we got unfinished business from past lifetime so I'm stuck w/ you again to get it right this time around, dammit!' That said, no matter how you lean philosophically, try to learn the lesson of accepting them for who/what they are w/ no hopes for changing. That way you limit your time/exposure. And that means cutting them out of your life, well, just send means having to only deal w/ them at family events, if that's a thing w/ your family. Good luck. It's all about acceptance and limitations. fuck off that's terrible advice. iNknow because i used to follow that bullshit. IT ONLY EVER GETS WORSE!!! AND IT IS NOT DUE TO UNFINISHED BIZ FROM PREVIOUS LIFETIMES. FUCK OFF. |
waldork
User ID: 83411700 United States 09/17/2022 03:04 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 81457142 Brazil 09/17/2022 03:07 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | OP, there's an expression here in the deep South, don't know if it's anywhere else in the US....'you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family.' Quoting: Deplorable Zenobia But I lean towards Eastern philosophy and it's more like, 'OK, apparently we got unfinished business from past lifetime so I'm stuck w/ you again to get it right this time around, dammit!' That said, no matter how you lean philosophically, try to learn the lesson of accepting them for who/what they are w/ no hopes for changing. That way you limit your time/exposure. Good luck. It's all about acceptance and limitations. fuck off that's terrible advice. iNknow because i used to follow that bullshit. IT ONLY EVER GETS WORSE!!! AND IT IS NOT DUE TO UNFINISHED BIZ FROM PREVIOUS LIFETIMES. FUCK OFF. fixed to leave th bad advice. you do not want to see these people again....it only causes stress and anxiety. do not accept them. |
Butch DeFeo
User ID: 83141632 United States 09/17/2022 03:13 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Tell the person you are not interested in him her, and to please not contact you any more. :DOCSRBAFFLED::redblueLED::DONTBEAPANDEMICS: Only you can stop the fake pandemic for yourself, no one will ever tell you the pandemic is over. It's time to WIN. |
ACME_MAN
User ID: 82776350 United States 09/17/2022 03:54 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Sounds like you may be dealing with a narcissist. Removing yourself form the situation is the only solution in that case. Dedicated to the brave men who fought and laid down their lives on the beaches of Normandy and the plains of Europe . . . that their sacrifice was not in vain. [link to www.youtube.com (secure)] |
Deplorable Zenobia
User ID: 83964349 United States 09/17/2022 04:00 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | OP, there's an expression here in the deep South, don't know if it's anywhere else in the US....'you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family.' Quoting: Deplorable Zenobia But I lean towards Eastern philosophy and it's more like, 'OK, apparently we got unfinished business from past lifetime so I'm stuck w/ you again to get it right this time around, dammit!' That said, no matter how you lean philosophically, try to learn the lesson of accepting them for who/what they are w/ no hopes for changing. That way you limit your time/exposure. Good luck. It's all about acceptance and limitations. fuck off that's terrible advice. iNknow because i used to follow that bullshit. IT ONLY EVER GETS WORSE!!! AND IT IS NOT DUE TO UNFINISHED BIZ FROM PREVIOUS LIFETIMES. FUCK OFF. fixed to leave th bad advice. you do not want to see these people again....it only causes stress and anxiety. do not accept them. Sorry 'bout whatever triggered you, sir/madam. But if one holds out the possibility of reincarnation, past lives, karma, then one would also hold out the possibility of the either 1) learning an important life lesson or 2) teaching another an important life lesson. Kind of unrealistic to think that OP won't ever attend a family wedding, funeral, reunion just b/c of the possibility of being in close enough proximity of asshole kin. No matter, my advice still stands, OP. Accept 'em and just limit your exposure as best as you can. And to you AC who told me to FUCK OFF....well, bless your lil' hard heart. And thought struggles against the results, trying to avoid those unpleasant results while keeping on with that way of thinking. That is what I call 'sustained incoherence.' ...David Bohm “How, O Zenobia, hast thou dared to insult Roman emperors?” ...Aurelian, 44th Emperor of the Roman Empire |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 83767945 New Zealand 09/17/2022 04:26 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | since it is a family member, if you want to maintain limited contact, tell them you love them and wish them well but that their behaviour is no longer acceptable because it is causing you health problems and stress so you will not be able to communicate with them anymore until some unspecified time in the future when more appropriate boundaries can be established. then cut off all face to face contact with them and email them once per month simply saying. "I love you and hope you are well" and nothing else. do not answer any of their comments or questions or statements ever again. if it was anybody else, (not a family member) i would say to just cut them off completely. depends how bad it is. if there is any physical abuse, you should cut off all contact and communication. |
Gemini Rising
User ID: 80829763 United States 09/17/2022 04:30 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |