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Industrial humor stories from the world with no women.

 
Lost Pottawatomi
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User ID: 81496699
United States
10/18/2022 11:06 PM

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Industrial humor stories from the world with no women.
So I was process control expert in a high speed web printing press factory with $375M yearly business.

The 2 newest Goss Sunday presses were about $20M each.
One was straight into a sheeter only, the other could run into a folder that was two stories tall.

That folder was a poorly intregrated mess and getting the press to figure which delivery was active was frustrating

Anyway, the 38 inch wide web of paper ran 1800 feet per minute through the units, then through the natural gas heated dryer, about 40 feet long, with 3 heat zones, to drive the volatile solvents out.

Technology was brutally stupid by 2012.
A combination of analog and digital meant there were an infinite number of ways both might not be satisfied.

The Contiweb dryer from Belgium has an extremely complicated purge/start fire/run temperature control firing system with primary concern to ensure purging on restarts.

Many pressure differential switches ensured that 10 480v 3 phase motors were actually developing sufficient flow in the right places to ignite the burners, or go into production mode.

Some systems can be fooled if a pressure switch is funky.

Jump a switch closed or lift a wire, and they'd be fooled.

When huge natural gas fired systems are involved, they insist on seeing that both hi/lo signals are seen as coordinated, and all other safeties are satisfied before firing up the burners, and they take 15-30 minutes to come up to production temps.

So we had a web break, or some kind of production stop.

Dryer didn't want to go back into production mode.

Mid point upper surface suction zone pressure switch would not PROVE hi/lo..DUNGS switch from somewhere in Europe.
2AM Saturday night, Shen-Yun Chinese Dance job on press, GOTTA run.

There's 5 guys running this giant press, and eventually it comes to them being ready but me needing to help get the dryer back up in production mode.

A first pressman had recently been made a foreman, and he was in charge
That meant HE wanted the press to run, but understood how stupid technology was.

So the dryer is about the size as a truck trailer...the stupid pressure switch that wasn't satisfied was about the middle, up at the top.

As I rebooted the control system on the dryer, and watched the input bit status, there was a time period where the signal needed to be off, then on.

If the airflow/atmospheric difference pressure were enough to operate, everything was good.

That night it wasn't.

So it was necessary, within a short, specific timeframe to blow/suck on the pressure tubing to the DUNGS switch.

I watched the system rebooting and the IO cards, and yelled to the pressman halfway along to the foreman...who had offered to get the pressure switch satisfied personally.

Cool.


"Tell him to blow as hard as he can in the tubing now!!!"


10 SECONDS LATER..

"TELL HIM TO SUCK AS HARD AS HE CAN NOW!!".



So during the startup, the DUNGS pressure switch got satisfied, the dryer safety system got off, and I got the satisfaction of telling the supervisor to suck as hard as he could, and the Shen Yun Chinese Dance flyer got off that weekend.

I wanna hear trucking stories, steel mill stories, fishing stories, oil rig stories.

Last Edited by Lost Pottawatomi on 10/18/2022 11:24 PM
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Lost Pottawatomi  (OP)

User ID: 81505941
United States
10/19/2022 12:24 AM

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Re: Industrial humor stories from the world with no women.
If there are real men here, in construction, production, repair, or other fields where there just never seems to be women, ya must have some fun stories!

In a big pressroom, ya never wanted women walkin around because all the guys heads would swivel and something might screw up with a wide range of trouble.

Maybe just a web break, maybe a smashed hand in a press.

If GLP has any real men around, there's a lot we could laff about.
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78773793
United States
10/19/2022 12:45 AM
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Re: Industrial humor stories from the world with no women.
manufacturing here...

got a call that two women were besting the shit out of each other in the parking lot. Went out and broke up the fight.

Turned out one woman had ordered tupperware from the other and then decided she didnt want it anymore.

Another dude, line manager got pissed off at a mechanic, went in the office and called the guys WIFE. Said he just wanted to call and make sure she know what a dumb shit she was married to.

We recruited from a nearby womens prison so that might have had something to do with the quality of our hires
Lost Pottawatomi  (OP)

User ID: 81527975
United States
10/19/2022 01:08 AM

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Re: Industrial humor stories from the world with no women.
I got out of steel mill, I stayed out of radio/tv FCC 1st class engineer..


Calling all Masters of the Disasters!

You wrangled shipwrecks, oilwell blowouts, landslides, whatnot cha got.

Maybe even car repair terror stories ..

Totally coked up Quaker State under da valve covers of a 68 Olds 350....$hit!!, howzit we only got just this one tiny hydraulic lifter tick?

"I donwanna touch Nunnadis inhere".

Give praise, plan on annuder blessing car, unless you really somehow in love with dis one.

Last Edited by Lost Pottawatomi on 10/19/2022 01:18 AM
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Lost Pottawatomi  (OP)

User ID: 81494099
United States
10/19/2022 01:21 AM

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Re: Industrial humor stories from the world with no women.
Can I tell about the female electricians I knew, fair dinkum, no shit?

Last Edited by Lost Pottawatomi on 10/19/2022 01:21 AM
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Wake up men
Star fleet is taking enrollments

User ID: 13053716
Australia
10/19/2022 01:26 AM

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Re: Industrial humor stories from the world with no women.
Nothing really foundry like, except storys of a person who got squashed like a grape, they found the skin but didnt find the body till later shot out like a grape from the skin.


As for me, it was on a flight from Kuala Lumpur. the aircraft flight shedual had it as a short start sector and the aircraft would be sitting on the ground at the thunderstorm time, cold as, so the humid air would condence on the cold aircon inner. knowing this from many years of flying, I would ussher anyone sitting in the seats behind the toilet block in the jumbo mid cabin, not to sit in the first row of four seats, untill after take off.

well this family decided they were not shifting, or listening to me the senior flight attendant. even though I asked and reminded them it was not a good seat to sit out of here. but they told me that they would be alright and even though their were 4 seats free behind the first row they would not follow my concerns.

So all closed up, in jumpseats and roar of the engins off we go, on rotate, about two bath tubs of water sloshed back like a waterfall onto the first row, drenching who sat there, happend every time. So as we are still climbing, I go up to them and smileing say, All knowing now?

they asked for towels and I laughed, you will all be dry in 20 minutes, welcome to my world.

hfpeace
Today was just a day, tomorrow is gonna be better.



Lost Pottawatomi  (OP)

User ID: 81494099
United States
10/19/2022 01:30 AM

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Re: Industrial humor stories from the world with no women.
Can I tell about the female electricians I knew, fair dinkum, no shit?
 Quoting: Lost Pottawatomi


One of them, from Lancaster took me on a date for pizza and later to a huge cemetery on the north side of Lancaster, where she searched to show me the epitaph that appears in my posts.

I should have dragged her out of RR Donnelly's Lancaster PA magazine (one of 3) factories, back to Chicago.

Dag was she firm.
Nothing shall be so certain as to permit confusion.
Lost Pottawatomi  (OP)

User ID: 81494099
United States
10/19/2022 01:38 AM

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Re: Industrial humor stories from the world with no women.
Nothing really foundry like, except storys of a person who got squashed like a grape, they found the skin but didnt find the body till later shot out like a grape from the skin.


As for me, it was on a flight from Kuala Lumpur. the aircraft flight shedual had it as a short start sector and the aircraft would be sitting on the ground at the thunderstorm time, cold as, so the humid air would condence on the cold aircon inner. knowing this from many years of flying, I would ussher anyone sitting in the seats behind the toilet block in the jumbo mid cabin, not to sit in the first row of four seats, untill after take off.

well this family decided they were not shifting, or listening to me the senior flight attendant. even though I asked and reminded them it was not a good seat to sit out of here. but they told me that they would be alright and even though their were 4 seats free behind the first row they would not follow my concerns.

So all closed up, in jumpseats and roar of the engins off we go, on rotate, about two bath tubs of water sloshed back like a waterfall onto the first row, drenching who sat there, happend every time. So as we are still climbing, I go up to them and smileing say, All knowing now?

they asked for towels and I laughed, you will all be dry in 20 minutes, welcome to my world.

hfpeace
 Quoting: Wake up men


Arrr arr arrrr!
Thnx so much!

We had a beautiful 65 Dodge Dart GT, purple, plum crazy, with an aftermarket underdash AC unit. On left turns, the condensate would slush into the squirrel cage fan and blow icy shush mist at my wife, and I could not control my laughter.

Last Edited by Lost Pottawatomi on 10/19/2022 01:49 AM
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Lost Pottawatomi  (OP)

User ID: 81494099
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10/19/2022 01:45 AM

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Re: Industrial humor stories from the world with no women.
Nothing really foundry like, except storys of a person who got squashed like a grape, they found the skin but didnt find the body till later shot out like a grape from the skin.


As for me, it was on a flight from Kuala Lumpur. the aircraft flight shedual had it as a short start sector and the aircraft would be sitting on the ground at the thunderstorm time, cold as, so the humid air would condence on the cold aircon inner. knowing this from many years of flying, I would ussher anyone sitting in the seats behind the toilet block in the jumbo mid cabin, not to sit in the first row of four seats, untill after take off.

well this family decided they were not shifting, or listening to me the senior flight attendant. even though I asked and reminded them it was not a good seat to sit out of here. but they told me that they would be alright and even though their were 4 seats free behind the first row they would not follow my concerns.

So all closed up, in jumpseats and roar of the engins off we go, on rotate, about two bath tubs of water sloshed back like a waterfall onto the first row, drenching who sat there, happend every time. So as we are still climbing, I go up to them and smileing say, All knowing now?

they asked for towels and I laughed, you will all be dry in 20 minutes, welcome to my world.

hfpeace
 Quoting: Wake up men


I keep reading this, and laughing deeper and deeper laffs every time. Thnx for writing well.
I think I see it.
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Lost Pottawatomi  (OP)

User ID: 81443293
United States
10/19/2022 02:10 AM

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Re: Industrial humor stories from the world with no women.
Note for future elaboration if anyone wonders about the world of industry and women.

1 Tammy from Milwaukee.
2. Mary Ellen steelmill.
3. Marty,sheet/Tin steel shipping foreman.


These, as I, straddled a line of what was, whuzzunt was management level responsibility.

Guess how many of these women had high performance 1960a cars!

Last Edited by Lost Pottawatomi on 10/19/2022 02:13 AM
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Lost Pottawatomi  (OP)

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10/19/2022 02:35 AM

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Re: Industrial humor stories from the world with no women.
Awwww, jeez,..

On the negative aspect there was
Sharon B-ling!

Holey moley.

Might not have been capable of a smile, but neither is an army tank.
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Lazy Monk

User ID: 75717292
Sweden
10/19/2022 03:06 AM
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Re: Industrial humor stories from the world with no women.
I once worked in a factory making toilets. It was semi-manual work, where you filled a row of gypsum moulds with clay slurry, waited until the gypsum had absorbed water and got covered with a solid clay layer, then drained the moulds and took out the moulded parts, finishing them with hand tools.

But this story is about when I worked in the summer when the factory was closed down for maintenance during the vacation season.

The toilets were burned in a linear oven. This was a 75 meter long oven that was blistering hot in the center and gradually cooler towards the ends. The clay toilets were slowly rolled through the oven, getting gradually heated and cooled over a couple hours, coming out burned to porcelain in the other end.

Now this oven had been turned off for two weeks, and it was my task to clean it.

By passing through it, lying on my stomach on a cart.

As you can imagine, the passage through the oven was no bigger than it needed to be for a little cart with a toilet on it to pass through (removing the cistern on top). It was super narrow, just barely wide enough that you could lie on a cart and not have your shoulders brush against the sides.

The oven had "cooled off" in the sense that it wasn't currently capable of burning porcelain, but it was still plenty too hot for human comfort. Looking into the end, a wave of massive heat welled over me. I braved the heat and entered the narrow opening, then I slowly pulled myself forward into the blackness of the tunnel, vacuuming dust with a long asbestos hose I was dragging behind me. Asbestos being the only thing that wouldn't melt.

The further I got into the passage, the more intense the residual heat the oven still held on to after two weeks of shut down became. The scorching hot dry air was barely breathable and burned my lungs from the inside, while it felt like the skin was being burned off my body from the outside. If I had touched the walls it would have.

And I could hardly see anything, only having a small flashlight that I couldn't swing around because there wasn't enough room to move my arms.

When I was in the dead center of the tunnel I had 37.5 meters to crawl in either direction to escape this absolute hell on Earth. The world around me was now an inferno of radiating heat far beyond the hottest sauna humans are crazy enough to enter, and if had the slightest tendency for claustrophobia I would have panicked, with disastrous results...

But the worst of it wasn't the near-lethal heat or the cramped claustrophobic situation.

It was the electric shocks!

You see, the dry clay dust tumbling through the asbestos hose charged it up electrically, so I was constantly given severe electric shocks that made my entire body go numb. There are these cute little shocks you all are familiar with that just make you twitch a little, and then there are these heavy shocks that go to the bone and momentarily paralyze you. This was the latter kind. And I had them over and over, every five seconds.

But I soldiered on and finished the job (having little choice in the matter!). When I finally exited the tunnel at the other end I almost fell on all four and kissed the ground, thrilled to still be alive!

I never signed up for summer work again, some other sucker had to that work in the future.

---

I don't know if that story was even any fun to read, but it is what came to mind.

Just as you said, no women do this kind of work. Women have no idea how privileged they are, sitting in their air conditioned offices and lifting papers, while men take care of the dirty work that actually keeps civilization going another day.

Have you read "The Time Machine" by H. G. Wells?

Women are Eloi, men are Morlocks.
Lazy Monk
Lost Pottawatomi  (OP)

User ID: 76447129
United States
10/19/2022 04:50 AM

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Re: Industrial humor stories from the world with no women.
Jeez, wow-thanks.
Bricklayers in steel furnace relines tell such stories about the residual heat no matter how long the shutdown, but I never heard about accumulated static discharge zaps, over and over.

Toilet kiln, huh?

You have paid yer dues in the game.
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Lazy Monk

User ID: 75717292
Sweden
10/19/2022 05:25 AM
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Re: Industrial humor stories from the world with no women.
Jeez, wow-thanks.
Bricklayers in steel furnace relines tell such stories about the residual heat no matter how long the shutdown, but I never heard about accumulated static discharge zaps, over and over.

Toilet kiln, huh?

You have paid yer dues in the game.
 Quoting: Lost Pottawatomi


At least every time I take a shit I feel like I earned it! lol
Lazy Monk
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10/19/2022 08:45 AM
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Re: Industrial humor stories from the world with no women.
Can I tell about the female electricians I knew, fair dinkum, no shit?
 Quoting: Lost Pottawatomi


One of them, from Lancaster took me on a date for pizza and later to a huge cemetery on the north side of Lancaster, where she searched to show me the epitaph that appears in my posts.

I should have dragged her out of RR Donnelly's Lancaster PA magazine (one of 3) factories, back to Chicago.

Dag was she firm.
 Quoting: Lost Pottawatomi


I thought Donnelly's went BK?

They had a plant in Dwight IL I went by a few times. Large place
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79079915
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10/19/2022 08:54 AM
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Re: Industrial humor stories from the world with no women.
Jeez, wow-thanks.
Bricklayers in steel furnace relines tell such stories about the residual heat no matter how long the shutdown, but I never heard about accumulated static discharge zaps, over and over.

Toilet kiln, huh?

You have paid yer dues in the game.
 Quoting: Lost Pottawatomi


At least every time I take a shit I feel like I earned it! lol
 Quoting: Lazy Monk


Going through the bullshit of being a man is enough to justify one's daily shit.

Fucked up story, yo. I wouldn't get on a fucking trolly through a kiln for anything. Get yer boss to do it.
Anonymous Coward
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10/19/2022 08:58 AM
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Re: Industrial humor stories from the world with no women.
Is that when the neighbours use tractor shit to undo there terrace tile weeds removal ? Like a shedding tractor that actually doesnt live in your house but just follows the largest housings around ?
Anonymous Coward
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10/19/2022 07:56 PM
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Re: Industrial humor stories from the world with no women.
Commercial and industrial construction. Good times.

People falling to their deaths, incinerated. I worked a burnout where they were still looking for bone fragments.

Saw a 20-year-old kid's head hit the concrete from about sixteen feet up just this year. Not his fault, tied off. Bleeding brain, broken hip. THC in his system, no settlement at all.

Watched 150 feet of 3" pipe fall over. During the investigation, the fitter said, "I don't know what went wrong, I had a screwdriver in a bolthole..."

Cranes flipping over, manlifts tipping over. Birds falling of the sky from h2s.

I gotta lot of stories. I'm putting a bunch in one of my novels, but I can't mention who I am here, because Trinity is a bitch.





GLP