My dad's wife died in December and now he has invited me to come visit

So you didn't attend her funeral?

There must be more to the story you're leaving out

What is your gut telling you?

If someone is reaching out because they are in pain, it's your duty as a loving spirit to connect with them. That doesn't mean that you don't put in boundaries, but we won't survive if we don't form connections when it's hard.

She was his life partner. She did not marry him with children. It estranged us from father daughter. That is the first time my father called. No one told me she died until I spoke with mutual acquaintance and it was a month or so after her passing. I called and gave my condolences. A few weeks later he invited me ... Never was invited before and I wasn't going to disturb his world.

I would say yes... when my grandfather, my father and my brother were all in positions in life where they didn't have anyone, it was a big comfort to them to have someone around that cared for them. I would invite my dad and my brother over for Thanksgiving and cook for them. I know it really filled a hole in their lives until they moved on to have significant others.

Maybe you can take him out to eat or have a nice meal with him. It's really hard when someone has had a partner for many years, and suddenly they are alone.

You only get one dad. Hope yall can work things out.

Go see him make your peace. Life is short.

I agree and he did apologize for not being a good father. He is hurting. They were together a long time

Yes and praying for God to show me the way. Thank you

Different and probably unpopular perspective. Sounds like he put her before his kid/s. He will do it again with someone else and some point.

Do you want to open yourself up to possibly getting hurt all over again?

Thank you. I missed hearing his voice my whole life. It is kind of heartbreaking.

I don't know

He is almost 90 years old. I don't think so. She was the love of his life.

I agree. Our mutual acquaintance said he is like a lost puppy .

Rewind, see him while you can, and never regret.


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Thank you. I feel the way will open up.

In five years, will you regret not taking this opportunity?

The man is 90 years old for God's sake visit him and give him a big hug. You dont have to wait till he's gone forever to forgive.

Thats rough

But as a widower myself, I can tell you he needs the love of his children now more than ever.

Its up to you whether he dies alone and broken hearted or not.

You have the opportunity to be the bigger person.

Put the past behind you and begin a relationship with your father again.

The past can't hurt you, unless you let it.

And I just made myself cry

Go see your dad

IF YOU HAVE Q'S YOU WANT OR 'HAVE TO BE ANSWERED'... ASK THEM FIRST FROM A DISTANCE..IT MAY BE WHAT IS BEST. BUT, I SENSE HE'S NOT LONG FOR THIS EARTH..SO, DECIDE IF YOU HAVE TO HAVE THOSE ANSWERS. BEST WISHES, CAPMAN.

You don't have to do it for him, but do it for you. Someday, when he is gone, you will wish you had made peace with him. It will be good for your soul. I wish you all the best.

Perfect recipe for grace. Thank you and dry your eyes. I will let you know my successful visit. It's in the making and will be detailed to accomplish this, but with all the good will I feel in this thread, I'm more hopeful then ever.

go

My sentiments exactly.


I am also dealing with a similar situation. I forgive him.


Trust your gut, OP.

No, he made his choices, and basically deserted his flesh and blood. Now he he’s lonely, and thinks he can waltz into your life again. Sounds like a selfish prick to me.

Cut him out of your life without mercy. Nothing good will come of doing otherwise.

Of course!

Forgive yes. Thank you sweet glp

This place has been such a part of my life, I just recently realized. Huge glp effect :)