Do you say to yourself. I don’t even know what it means to be happy anymore.

Actually no. I never thought that because "I don't even know what it means to be happy", period.

God forced me to live a crucified life from the womb.

Christ was only crucified once, while in each stage of my development, God handed me over to others to be crucified mentally, emotionally and spiritually, over and over and over again.

Now that I think about it, God only ever allowed me the briefest of moments to live at each stage of my development. Kind of like God was wondering what "could of been", so allowed the slightest moment of life in each developmental stage just so it could be recorded what was stripped away from me.

Why would I ever want or desire eternal life, when even God has always been unjust towards me? I don't really care anymore, in the context of the authority of God. Just because even God has been unjust towards me, I'm not going to go around and be unjust towards others.

I live, because I live. There is no overarching calling to my life other than to endure for as long as possible. If I'm doing good, it isn't to get into heaven or avoid hell. From my vantage point, there is little difference between either place.

Unimaginable pleasure, to a person who lived a life almost entirely devoid of pleasure, would be only slightly different then throwing such a person into the Lake of Fire. There is no hope for me, there is no salvation.

Just because others have chosen to do evil to me, doesn't mean I should or even desire to do evil to others. Sure, in the moments when I look back and see the totality of the pain I've been forced to endure throughout my life it overwhelms me, and I cry out in pain, anguish and bitterness.

The most I hope for, is that when I die, God will allow me to cease to exist. So no one can hurt me anymore, and I can be free from all those that caused me harm. Personally, I would prefer to slumber in the void, but that isn't a viable long term option.

You say you don’t know what it means to be happy. Maybe now is a good starting point to be happy. Take care of yourself. Your mind. Your spirit. Your health. Do things that uplift and inspire. Allow yourself to have joy.

satan loves to mess with us. To bring us so much sorrow. Hurt. Pain. Don’t let this work. Be above the snares. Find peace in Jesus Christ. Find peace in knowing you are a human with good will. And that matters to God!

God is not unjust with you. He loves you. Always. It’s satan that hates you and doesn’t want you at peace. It’s satan that wants you to give up. To lose hope. To curse God. Don’t give into these deceptions. God most certainly is for you.

This shows yours character that even though you have been treated unjustly you still will treat others with respect and kindness. And even though others have been evil towards you, you don’t wish evil towards others.

We should do good because it’s the right thing to do. Regardless of Heaven or hell. Someone thinking about Heaven might start to do good but God knows if they are genuine. Or maybe someone is scared of hell so they start doing good. This isn’t wrong. If it got them moving in a forward direction. It’s just not the reason to do good. We should focus on now and do good because it’s the right thing to do.

Endure endure endure! Jesus said those who endure will receive the crown of life. Don’t give into the negativity. Don’t give up. Keep moving forward and take it one day at a time.

Jesus Christ is Hope. Jesus Christ is Salvation.

Don’t let yourself think there is no hope for you. Or no salvation.

Jesus loves you. He truly does.

Having pain, anguish, and being bitter because of being wronged and judged and mocked and despaired and all kinds of talk and emotional and mental pain. Your normal. These experiences totally can make one experience pain anguish and to be bitter. I have had a lot of emotional and mental pain in my life. I pray you can be free from these sorrows and have a renewed mind. To let go. To forgive . And to keep a solid mind.

Stay strong. Try to have some Hope man.

See the good in you.

See the good in you

The resilience

The fortitude

The love

And try to be Happy.

trust in His mercy and repent.

He is the most merciful!

And repentance leads to humility which leads to wisdom. Which leads to seeing Grace throughout our lives.

Jesus told others when he healed them or saved them go and sin no more.

If we do sin. Don’t dwell. Stand up and move forward. And trust in Jesus and his redeeming work on that cross at Calvary.

God Bless!

Last Edited by Seekingtruthandhonor on 06/04/2023 04:15 PM

I find bits and pieces. It's so competitive. Every one show each other up and rip them off and manipulate haze and tease. Troll and humblebrags not that's actually a word from the richest most influential, who right you know, andsaving us all.

thank you so much for that

i know and i am holding on

i never cease praying

Please try to stay encouraged!

God Bless You!

I do say..I don't know what it means to have fun anymore

What are some things that you had fun doing, or things that were fun for you. That you no longer do? Or you don’t have fun doing anymore?

Sometimes I won’t let myself have fun. I reason within my mind oh I’m stressed oh I have anxiety oh I’m not worthy oh I’m a failure

Whatever it might be

I just realize I need to focus on the good and let myself be happy and allow myself to have some fun.

Good fun

Not like drinking too much or doing drugs too much

Just clean fun

I recently have been reading some books. It’s nice.

I also write. I like it.

I hope you can have some good healthy positive fun sometime soon!

Please don’t be down on yourself! Allow yourself to have peace and joy.

Have a great week!

Last Edited by Seekingtruthandhonor on 06/05/2023 06:47 PM