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Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 85973288
Australia
06/18/2023 01:42 AM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
Bump
Anonymous Coward
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06/18/2023 01:46 AM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
I usually just pretend im not home.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 85920016


release the hungry pack of pitbulls .
watch em run .
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 85973288
Australia
06/18/2023 01:51 AM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
I usually just pretend im not home.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 85920016


release the hungry pack of pitbulls .
watch em run .
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 85971973


Piss on them first...

THEN release the doggies.
Anonymous Coward
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Australia
06/18/2023 01:55 AM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
A pedovahs witness..

For some reason this vid makes me very VERY horny.

 Quoting: DGN
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 85940611
United States
06/18/2023 02:00 AM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
That’s why I keep a copy of The Book of The Dead right near the front door.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76946058
United States
06/18/2023 02:19 AM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
I usually just pretend im not home.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 85920016


I let them in and ask them to explain thier theology independent of the bible or trying to juxtipose thier theology against other beliefs, I just want a cliff notes summary. It all starts to sound ridicules pretty quickly. I then ask about how they know if they are witnessing well enough, they then tell me about how they have to record their activities. Then I simply ask if my justification is based on some judgement of men and my recorded list of acts or works? Then I start to ask about heaven and my reward and that breaks down into the elect who go to paradise and those of us who are saved to be gardeners for eternity here on earth and at that point I'm like how do you become one of those elect and yet again it is all based on a judgement from a council of men. I then ask about how in the world the thief on the cross next to Jesus qualified to be an elect assuming when Jesus said this day you will join me in paradise. At the end I sum up what they shared with me like this, so your understanding is I have to work my way into the good graces of men to be judged holy enough to enter heaven and If I don't quite cut the standard I could be an eternal gardener on earth or worse banished to some other level of hell. I then ask if my summary is more or less correct and I usually get a nod out of them. THen I ask if my understand of the salvation of the thief on the cross is correct and get an approving nod, then I ask where was all the governance to approve this thiefs "good deeds" how was he was to be allowed into paradise when he didn't have any of the good works they promote? At that point I ask about thier own time commitments and if they have assurance they are making the cut and at that point they are ready to run out the door. After doing this, I've never had them come back, the doubts I attempt to create makes them not want to come back. And I hope get a few of them to question the path they are on.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 80426843
United States
06/18/2023 09:28 AM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
I usually just pretend im not home.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 85920016


I let them in and ask them to explain thier theology independent of the bible or trying to juxtipose thier theology against other beliefs, I just want a cliff notes summary. It all starts to sound ridicules pretty quickly. I then ask about how they know if they are witnessing well enough, they then tell me about how they have to record their activities. Then I simply ask if my justification is based on some judgement of men and my recorded list of acts or works? Then I start to ask about heaven and my reward and that breaks down into the elect who go to paradise and those of us who are saved to be gardeners for eternity here on earth and at that point I'm like how do you become one of those elect and yet again it is all based on a judgement from a council of men. I then ask about how in the world the thief on the cross next to Jesus qualified to be an elect assuming when Jesus said this day you will join me in paradise. At the end I sum up what they shared with me like this, so your understanding is I have to work my way into the good graces of men to be judged holy enough to enter heaven and If I don't quite cut the standard I could be an eternal gardener on earth or worse banished to some other level of hell. I then ask if my summary is more or less correct and I usually get a nod out of them. THen I ask if my understand of the salvation of the thief on the cross is correct and get an approving nod, then I ask where was all the governance to approve this thiefs "good deeds" how was he was to be allowed into paradise when he didn't have any of the good works they promote? At that point I ask about thier own time commitments and if they have assurance they are making the cut and at that point they are ready to run out the door. After doing this, I've never had them come back, the doubts I attempt to create makes them not want to come back. And I hope get a few of them to question the path they are on.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76946058


Make sure you preface all of this with a "Welcome. I believe God has led you to my door for a reason" and keep reiterating that throughout as their own doubts grow.
936432979

User ID: 76832232
United States
06/18/2023 10:05 AM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
I usually just pretend im not home.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 85920016


I let them in and ask them to explain thier theology independent of the bible or trying to juxtipose thier theology against other beliefs, I just want a cliff notes summary. It all starts to sound ridicules pretty quickly. I then ask about how they know if they are witnessing well enough, they then tell me about how they have to record their activities. Then I simply ask if my justification is based on some judgement of men and my recorded list of acts or works? Then I start to ask about heaven and my reward and that breaks down into the elect who go to paradise and those of us who are saved to be gardeners for eternity here on earth and at that point I'm like how do you become one of those elect and yet again it is all based on a judgement from a council of men. I then ask about how in the world the thief on the cross next to Jesus qualified to be an elect assuming when Jesus said this day you will join me in paradise. At the end I sum up what they shared with me like this, so your understanding is I have to work my way into the good graces of men to be judged holy enough to enter heaven and If I don't quite cut the standard I could be an eternal gardener on earth or worse banished to some other level of hell. I then ask if my summary is more or less correct and I usually get a nod out of them. THen I ask if my understand of the salvation of the thief on the cross is correct and get an approving nod, then I ask where was all the governance to approve this thiefs "good deeds" how was he was to be allowed into paradise when he didn't have any of the good works they promote? At that point I ask about thier own time commitments and if they have assurance they are making the cut and at that point they are ready to run out the door. After doing this, I've never had them come back, the doubts I attempt to create makes them not want to come back. And I hope get a few of them to question the path they are on.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76946058


The part about ‘or worse banished to some other level of hell’. - they believe there will be a permanent death, not any kind of hell, for those persons who don’t qualify for heaven or ‘paradise earth’ so I doubt they would have nodded at that part.
936432979

User ID: 76832232
United States
06/18/2023 10:23 AM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
That’s why I keep a copy of The Book of The Dead right near the front door.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 85940611


They are very repelled in horror at the idea of dead people being alive after death, so that’s an excellent idea. Just say ‘spirits’ and they will quickly turn and leave.

Last Edited by 936432979 on 06/18/2023 10:25 AM
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 85981281
Australia
06/19/2023 07:07 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
I turn up the obituary to full blast...

Take a quick swig of stage blood and let it dribble down my mouth a bit...


And slowly open the door and say "you raaang?"
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 85991390
Australia
06/22/2023 08:50 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
Flamethrower
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 86004601
Australia
06/25/2023 10:07 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
Flop out dick...piss om em.

Slam door.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 86004601
Australia
06/25/2023 10:20 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
Open door...throw bag of fresh vomit on them.

Slam door.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 86007779
Australia
06/26/2023 03:30 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
Open door.

Throw fresh catshit at them.

Slam door.
Plant Goddess

User ID: 79736903
United States
06/26/2023 03:36 PM

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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
They used to beat on my door every week, always told them I wasn't interested but they kept coming back. Finally had enough so waited until I saw it was a larger group of them (5 or 6) and flung the door open butt naked. They didn't bother me again for at least 10 years.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 86007779
Australia
06/26/2023 03:49 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
They used to beat on my door every week, always told them I wasn't interested but they kept coming back. Finally had enough so waited until I saw it was a larger group of them (5 or 6) and flung the door open butt naked. They didn't bother me again for at least 10 years.
 Quoting: Plant Goddess


Had you been 5 years old when you did that..they would have been round every day.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 86007779
Australia
06/26/2023 08:38 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
Open door.

Turn and fart as loud as possible.

Slam door.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 83962627
United States
06/26/2023 08:44 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
I usually just pretend im not home.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 85920016


That’s the best way. Be peaceable with all.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 83962627
United States
06/26/2023 08:44 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
Open door.

Throw fresh catshit at them.

Slam door.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 86007779


Bad karma.
DuckNCover

User ID: 85987195
United States
06/26/2023 08:49 PM

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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
I usually just pretend im not home.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 85920016


I let them in and ask them to explain thier theology independent of the bible or trying to juxtipose thier theology against other beliefs, I just want a cliff notes summary. It all starts to sound ridicules pretty quickly. I then ask about how they know if they are witnessing well enough, they then tell me about how they have to record their activities. Then I simply ask if my justification is based on some judgement of men and my recorded list of acts or works? Then I start to ask about heaven and my reward and that breaks down into the elect who go to paradise and those of us who are saved to be gardeners for eternity here on earth and at that point I'm like how do you become one of those elect and yet again it is all based on a judgement from a council of men. I then ask about how in the world the thief on the cross next to Jesus qualified to be an elect assuming when Jesus said this day you will join me in paradise. At the end I sum up what they shared with me like this, so your understanding is I have to work my way into the good graces of men to be judged holy enough to enter heaven and If I don't quite cut the standard I could be an eternal gardener on earth or worse banished to some other level of hell. I then ask if my summary is more or less correct and I usually get a nod out of them. THen I ask if my understand of the salvation of the thief on the cross is correct and get an approving nod, then I ask where was all the governance to approve this thiefs "good deeds" how was he was to be allowed into paradise when he didn't have any of the good works they promote? At that point I ask about thier own time commitments and if they have assurance they are making the cut and at that point they are ready to run out the door. After doing this, I've never had them come back, the doubts I attempt to create makes them not want to come back. And I hope get a few of them to question the path they are on.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76946058


bump

I also believe there are scripture verses that go against their teachings too. I'm not up on those verses, otherwise I would quote them...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 86007779
Australia
06/26/2023 08:56 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
Open door.

Shit on their shoes.

Slam door.
nutmeg

User ID: 76388104
United States
06/26/2023 09:08 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
Grab your phone. Open the door. Smile at them, and tell them you're on a long distance call.

They'll smile, turn around and leave.

It works.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 86007779
Australia
06/26/2023 09:30 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
Open door.

Hawk up a serious loogie

Get it right in their mouth.

Slam door.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 86007779
Australia
06/26/2023 09:42 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
Open door.

Let dog chew on em for a minute.

Slam door.
TXGLP2

User ID: 84240743
United States
06/26/2023 09:45 PM

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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
Hand them reports on their cult is protecting and covering up child abuse.

[link to jwfacts.com (secure)]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 78258400


This.

Second time they came to my door I tore into them and they never returned. That was before I knew about the child abuses of their church. Yes, Inform Them.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 86007779
Australia
06/26/2023 09:50 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
Open door..

Invite them in..

Then slam door on their foot.

Then slam door again.

If foot is still there..

Slam again and again till its gone.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 86007779
Australia
06/26/2023 09:56 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
Open door

Invite them in.

Offer them some drinks n snacks..

If they say yes bring them a couple shit sandwiches and two cups of piss..

And just tell them you are big in recycling and saving the planet.

Watch them leave..

Slam door.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 81572868
United States
06/26/2023 09:59 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
Answer the door nude
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 86007779
Australia
06/26/2023 10:09 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
Answer door.

Flop cock out and wank...looking them right in the eye with a twisted grin.

Slam door.

This ones Briefs favourite.
Buck Tardwater

User ID: 72884301
United States
06/26/2023 10:15 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
Tell them you've been excommunicated from the church. They'll instantly walk away.
Buck Tardwater





GLP