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Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 80142389
Australia
08/21/2023 10:19 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
[link to www.godlikeproductions.com]
TXGLP2

User ID: 84240743
United States
08/21/2023 10:24 PM

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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
Inform them of their church's crimes against children. If it's that frequent, make a printout for them.

Do say, "Not Today, Satan" just so they'll make note not to return. Ask them their address, their names, their pets' names, and write them down as they do.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 80301146
Australia
08/27/2023 02:21 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
Inform them of their church's crimes against children. If it's that frequent, make a printout for them.

Do say, "Not Today, Satan" just so they'll make note not to return. Ask them their address, their names, their pets' names, and write them down as they do.
 Quoting: TXGLP2


Its much easier and more effectuve if you just piss on em and slam the door.

Its what we do here in Aus.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 86240418
Australia
08/28/2023 01:06 AM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
Inform them of their church's crimes against children. If it's that frequent, make a printout for them.

Do say, "Not Today, Satan" just so they'll make note not to return. Ask them their address, their names, their pets' names, and write them down as they do.
 Quoting: TXGLP2


Its much easier and more effectuve if you just piss on em and slam the door.

Its what we do here in Aus.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 80301146


This.

And if we have warning that they are coming we usually throw a fresh shit at them.

Fucking pedos.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 73679078
United States
08/28/2023 01:14 AM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
I usually just pretend im not home.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 85920016


I told them we're Satanists and they never came back.

You can also say Buddhist.

Or tell them you have covid or Aids or anything.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 83891849
United States
08/28/2023 01:15 AM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
If you “study to show yourself approved, rightly

using the word of God” and you CORRECT THEIR

INTERPRETATION OF GOD’s WORD,

They will NEVER return to your door!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 86240418
Australia
08/28/2023 01:16 AM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
I usually just pretend im not home.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 85920016


I told them we're Satanists and they never came back.

You can also say Buddhist.

Or tell them you have covid or Aids or anything.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 73679078


Its more fun to throw some runny shit n piss at em.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 84971295
08/28/2023 01:27 AM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
I Ask them if they are there for the orgy or if they came to buy crack, it’s even better if I’m naked
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 84971295
08/28/2023 01:27 AM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
I Ask them if they are there for the orgy or if they came to buy crack, it’s even better if I’m naked
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 84470742
United States
08/28/2023 01:57 AM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
I usually just pretend im not home.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 85920016


No soliciting sign. Havent been bothered by anyone since puting on my door
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 80936355
Australia
08/29/2023 03:47 AM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
I just head butt them and slam the door.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 80936355
Australia
08/29/2023 04:40 AM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
I usually just pretend im not home.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 85920016


I told them we're Satanists and they never came back.

You can also say Buddhist.

Or tell them you have covid or Aids or anything.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 73679078


Its more fun to throw some runny shit n piss at em.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 86240418


Thats a good one to use on mormons.

Them nice white shirts take on some character with some shit splatter patterns on them.

It soaks right through to their sacred underwear.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 86260969
Australia
09/02/2023 09:41 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
A shotgun up threir nose usually does the trick.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 86260969
Australia
09/02/2023 09:47 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
[link to www.godlikeproductions.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 52735685
Australia
09/03/2023 02:30 AM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
A shotgun up threir nose usually does the trick.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 86260969


A squirt of wasp spray can be funny to watch.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 13241733
Australia
09/03/2023 10:39 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
Inform them of their church's crimes against children. If it's that frequent, make a printout for them.

Do say, "Not Today, Satan" just so they'll make note not to return. Ask them their address, their names, their pets' names, and write them down as they do.
 Quoting: TXGLP2


Give them glp web addy and tell them to do a word sesrch on jehovahs witnesses.

Watch them run.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78442013
Australia
09/04/2023 03:02 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
Answer the door with a cucumber stuck up ya bum.

They never come back.

Worked for Brief.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 85923354


Brief does the cucumber thing for free no matter who is at the door.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 40975638


Lol
Windsage

User ID: 63526079
Malaysia
09/04/2023 03:06 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
Tell them you’re a Mormon.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78442013
Australia
09/05/2023 11:01 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
Tell them you’re a Mormon.
 Quoting: Windsage


Mormons diddle just as much as they do.

Maybe thats why they run.

They hate competition.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78442013
Australia
09/05/2023 11:20 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
A shotgun up threir nose usually does the trick.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 86260969


A squirt of wasp spray can be funny to watch.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 52735685


Good idea
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 85899138
United States
09/08/2023 02:32 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
I keep a sealed jar of rotting vomit mixed with catpiss by the door for those occasions.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 86182144
Canada
09/08/2023 02:38 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
I usually just pretend im not home.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 85920016


- be really eager
- tell them you'd LOVE to talk about Jesus, your Lord and Savior, with them
- invite them inside


Watch how fast they get back in their car and scram. They don't actually want to get into discussions about religion with you. Just delivering pamphlets.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 57130192
Australia
09/15/2023 04:41 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
I keep a sealed jar of rotting vomit mixed with catpiss by the door for those occasions.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 85899138


It really works.

I put a cup of runny shit in mine.

Adds that certain...texturw.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 84355330
United States
09/15/2023 04:45 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
bump
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 86282887
United States
09/15/2023 04:47 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
a NO TRESPASSING sign.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 86319289
Australia
09/19/2023 08:19 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
a NO TRESPASSING sign.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 86282887


They ignore those.

Thats why a sealed jar of vomit..runny shit..and catpiss kept next to the front door has its uses.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 86328066
Australia
09/21/2023 11:39 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
Open door.

Drop pants and turn round.

Chuck.a.huge brown eye..

Fart or shit...

Slam door.

This was.scrumps favourite.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 86007779


Did it work?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78701049
Canada
09/24/2023 02:57 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
Open door.

Drop pants and turn round.

Chuck.a.huge brown eye..

Fart or shit...

Slam door.

This was.scrumps favourite.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 86007779


Did it work?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 86328066


No.

It just made them really horny.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 64497641
Australia
10/27/2023 02:54 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
Open door.

Drop pants and turn round.

Chuck.a.huge brown eye..

Fart or shit...

Slam door.

This was.scrumps favourite.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 86007779


Did it work?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 86328066


No.

It just made them really horny.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 78701049


I bet it did.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 86351641
United States
10/27/2023 02:55 PM
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Re: Whays the best way to deal with THE PEDOVAH'S WITNESSESS cult when they come to your door?
Tell them their doctrine is pucked up. The 144,000 are the babies that Herod killed. 12,000 each tribe.





GLP