Gwyneth Paltrow Here. Shopping for candles. Anyone recommend some good smelling scents

Dumb whore

Anchovy Creme

Good, but it tastes a bit metallic.

She's one of those idiots that tanned. it's already aged her significantly. The smart ones do not tan at all, a good example is Nicole Kidman. Arianna Grande is very pale as is Kate Perry. You have to stay out of the sun as much as possible. I have faster aging on the left side of my face from driver exposer I didn't consider when I was younger. These wealthy people also have not driven cars as much as we have. I have 300k miles on my face, although now I wear sunscreen.

Out west in California and those other hot dry places, sunscreen isn't even enough, you basically have to wear a scarf wrapped over your face or u will burn. The beach in summer anywhere is to hot for me I don't even do it anymore. I like it 72 and below.

Being fair skinned is a real PITA.

The most beautiful creature I ever saw was a stripper in jersey, with the palest whitest skin you could possibly have. She said her mother never allowed her out in the full sun, ever. Then she was taught to protect and cover her skin as a teenager.
Not a single mole or freckle, almost impossibly perfect.

You need those secret underground custom candles made in Germany only. Lucky for you, I'm the exclusive maker and seller of these. Those candles are given to super high profile VIP's only. To prove it's actually you, you need to make a social media post containing the words "red" and "gold".

Make sure they are REAL Bees Wax Candles.

The smell is NOT the most important thing with candles ... getting away from those made from oil derivatives and getting REAL Bees Wax Candles IS the Most Important item wrt candles.

Fresh squeezed mackerel aged five days with a bit of tuna and pit bull feces.

I made some religious candles that say "HOLY CARP"

Hey, Gwyn!

Sweddie Tiddies, A smell guaranteed to remind you of Ma.

Cabbage-induced diarrhea.

That’s about your speed, Gwen.

Did you settle out of court with the man from Texas who sued your company for over $5 million over his $75 candle exploding?
I can’t seem to find an outcome.

it will take more than scented candles to remove the smell of your dead kid body lotion.

How about “Triple Vaxxed and Boosted”. It’s a unique smell that will go great in your collection.

For Halloween, “Silent But Deadly”, or “Kensington Avenue Zombie”

Those pesky rabbis and their spotting guide

Didn't you eat Jack Blacks brown buttcrack? You did! You nasty huzzy you did it! I knew it! He gave you that old Tenacious D didn't he? You ol skallywag you.

Call one Nasty Green Crack.

i've decided i will lance my herpes and make candle scents out of them next

You know ghosts usually bring sweet and pleasant scents with them, right?
Demons are different.

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Punjab vegetables.

lol

You don't really believe it's the real Gwyneth Paltrow... or do you?

lol

Try Bobos scented log fragrance.

She would only have to stick some up the vajayjay to get them to smell like that.

A slight tan on someone with very fair skin is nice. It looks healthy.

We all need sunshine. It's what makes us produce vitamin D in our skin, and without it we are not healthy, even if you think someone very pale like that looks beautiful.

lancing my herpes sores ending up being a little messy. I managed to get about a quart of pus but most of it dribbled on the floor.

With that said. should be enough to make a limited edition set of candles out of it.

Sending a small sample to Pfizer to see if they can recreate the pus and i can market more candles

Putang spice

Tom Cruise and Antonio Banderas just both called me within 30 minutes.

Say they are hooking me up in a new movie. it's called Charlies Vangels.

Im going back to be an A-Lister