Winning Souls to Christ in The World of Warcraft

Freehold, Iowa - Christian game enthusiasts around the US are putting on the full armor of Christ and gearing up for World of Warcraft's Wrath of the Lich King expansion pack. They are prepared to share the Gospel and turn the demon infested World of Warcraft, into a mission field, where virtual battles are fought and real souls are won to the Lord Jesus Christ! "May the living God Almighty be praised as the good news of His Holy name is spread throughout the land and into the farthest corners of cyberspace!" Pastor Deacon Fred shouted to a group of 100 Landover Baptist Senior High school students sitting in lawn chairs outside a local Best Buy store on Wednesday night.

Billy Houston, a Landover Baptist Senior High youth, has been sharing Jesus in the virtual gaming world for over three years. "I evangelized in Lineage 2, Everquest, Diablo, and a bunch of other games," he says, "but I haven't seen nearly as many people who are as open to hearing the Gospel message as I have inside the World of Warcraft." For Christian adults reading this article who are not familiar with the World of Warcraft, young Billy has what gamers call, a Level 67 Undead Priest with nearly 40 points of concentrated focus in the Holy talent tree. "I'm also in one of the largest Christian guilds on our server," he says. "I think the reason so many people are open to hearing about Jesus in the World of Warcraft is because the majority of people who play the game are lonely kids who don't have any friends. I doubt any of them play sports so you can pretty much guess that there are lots of sissy gay boys and fat little pale-faced Wiccan girls on the servers who hate themselves and escape into virtual characters so they don't have to deal with their pathetic lives. When they hear that someone loves them, even if it is just the Lord Jesus Christ, they always want to hear more!"

The World of Warcraft is ripe for eager young Christian evangelists to ply their trade. "I'm studying to be a missionary at Liberty University, in Lynchburg, Virginia," says one gamer named Toby McFalwell (who prefers to remain anonymous) and sharing the Good News of Jesus in Azeroth is a great way to practice soulwinning in Arkansas, where I'm from originally. I think that when Jesus said in Mark 16:15, Go ye into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature, He knew that True Christians™ like me in the future, would be called into virtual worlds where we'd be witnessing to gnomes, trolls, night elves and all sorts of other creatures. I also think that verse applies to Christian astronaut missionaries in the future who will encounter and evangelize unsaved alien life forms on other planets. I believe with my whole heart that Christian gamers are sincerely answering the Great Commission of Jesus," says Billy. "And the best thing about it is that we are persecuted, mocked, and suffer for our beliefs just as bad as the early Christians did, but we don't even have to get out of our chairs or leave our bedrooms. The worst physical pain I've suffered so far for the Lord is tendentious and some pretty nasty finger cramps while playing my Rogue. I bet the Apostle Paul is so jealous!"
One prospective missionary at the Landover Baptist Christian Academy says, "Most people who are mean, liberal, nasty, lonely, unsaved losers in real life choose to play the Horde (an evil race of characters in the World of Warcraft) and people and guilds who are conservative, Republican and pretty much easier to win to Jesus Christ with are found in the Alliance. That's why the real True Christians™ pick the Horde to play as characters and start their guilds in Horde territory because they like the challenge of sharing Christ's message in a perilous, lava-soaked, environment. Sometimes you have to pester people for weeks before they listen to you. I followed some stupid gnome around for 8-hours until he finally told me that he would accept Jesus as his Personal Savior if I would just shut up and promise not to contact him anymore. Now that rocks! Praise God!"

"I really like our guild leader," says young Billy Houston. "He has a strict policy against letting unsaved people join our group. I think he's from Alabama in real life. In fact, he won't even party-up with anyone who isn't a Christian. He's a level 71 Priest, and gets a lot of respect. He can climb right up to the top of the dwarf statue by the gates of Stormwind City and start street preaching to the Dark Elves and they will listen to everything he says. He's done conversion duels on multiple servers where he challenges other players to fight him. If he wins, they accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. If he loses, which he does pretty often, he gives them 5 gold. My Youth Director got a bunch of Asian Christian dudes to give us a ton of gold so we can concentrate on soul-winning. You see, we don't have much time to level our characters or do quests because we are busy cutting and pasting Bible verses into General Chat, Trade Chat and all over the place until someone listens. But you gotta understand, there are times we need to buy the latest cool items so other players will respect us if we meet to talk about Jesus in one of the major cities."

Baptist Pastors say that young Christian gamers are attracted to the World of Warcraft because they are able to live out their faith in the same way the early True Christians™ did, before their religion was sissified by liberalism, science, and political correctness. "It is such a rush to kill other players who refuse to accept Jesus Christ as Lord," says one gamer. "I feel like I can really practice my faith the way God intended it. It is like I'm fighting alongside Christians of old, instead of the pansies and sissies from my Sunday school class."
Young Billy explains that it is very simple to announce the message of God's love across the World of Warcraft game channels. "I have a hot-key macro that broadcasts, Jesus Loves You! Please Love Him Back or He Will Burn You in Hell! PM Me if you want to learn more! across four channels. I have the new Christian macro mod for Wrath of the Lich King too! So, just send me an e-mail if haven't downloaded it yet it! Christian gamers need to start spamming God's Word right when they log in! Eternity in Hell is at stake! I usually get PM'd (Private Messaged) by a few characters who I then add to my buddy list. I follow them around the game, across snow-capped mountains, and blasted wastelands until they accept Christ or persecute me so much that I have to report them to the server administrators for making fun of my religion. I think I've been responsible for getting over 200 accounts suspended for bigotry directed at me because of my faith. Praise Jesus!"
Landover Baptist Pastors originally expressed some concern over the game because it looked like it promoted occult activity. "I told Pastor Deacon Fred that every single time I find an item that looks like it has something to do with the occult, I hop on a griffin and head straight to Ironforge where I auction it off. Christian gamers shouldn't be carrying that stuff around. We don't enter places that serve alcohol in the game either. It is just not a good testimony. All the money I make from selling occult items to unsaved gamers, I auction off on E-bay for real cash, which I then put into the offering plate at our church on the last Sunday of each month."

[link to www.landoverbaptist.org]