Dear Hippy Douchebags.... Drop dead.

I can no longer stay silent!

Are you like me, and maybe have a friend in your life who is like this, or know a few aquaintances like this?

I am talking of course about Hippy Douchebags.

A hippy douchebag isn't like you or I. Maybe you dig being a "green" environmental hippy. Hey, thats cool!
Maybe you believe in being a humble and kind person to your fellow man. Hey, spot on chap!
Hell, maybe you are even a boned out hippy and are rocking the dreadlocks and colorful clothes. Power to yah mon!

But then there is hippy douchebags.... *groan*

A hippy douchebag says the word "energy" as often as they possibly can. A hippy douchebag talks worse than William Shatner. Not only is... it.... slow.... AND .... Stoo..PID!!! but they constantly have this underlying tone that they themselves KNOW they are totally full of shit. They look around at everybody for approval, but anyone with even a few brain cells is raising their eyebrow in stunned confusion at the retardedness before them.

Next the hippy douchebag will start talking about re-incarnation, and speak about the subject with absolute certainty, after all, they did read this out of a book, and anything that has been published in print HAS to be true and solid information. They'll talk about how this is their 100'th life on Earth... or 20'th.... or 700'th.... and/or how this is going to be their last incarnation on "this" planet and are going to move on when they die.

Whereas some of us maybe enjoy smelly insence, or even little buddah statues that smile at us, the hippy douchebag will spend a fortune at the hippy douche store, and buy charms, crystals, and other inanimate earthy materials shaped into something supposedly meaningful, all at a price tag that is of course 20 fold what the material actually costs. At this point, while saying "energy" as often as possible, the hippy douche will start saying the word "channeling" as often as they can as well.

They talk like Keanu Reeves from the Matrix movies..
"Like.... whoa..... like.... really?"

You can tell that inside these people is the soul of a normal human being that desperately wants to escape from the tormenting wind of douche-bag-ary. But much like a drug addict, they have crossed the line of no return, and can only suffer until the day comes where they realize that they are a knob, and everything they talk about is amazingly baseless.

Personally I am a "live and let live" kind of individual... But I had my last straw with this brand of idiocy the other day when I called one of my employee's. Our business works on a "on call" basis, and sometimes when things come up unexpectedly, we have to get to work "right now". Well an HOUR after I called Hippy Douchebag, he finally calls back.

"I... heard... you... calling... (he has a ring tone that lets him know it's me), but.. I.. was... meditating!"

----> me "................................"

I meditate myself when I can, it helps me stay sane. However, if I ignored everyone when I am meditating, well... damn... everything would go strait to hell. I could have killed this douchebag.

All in all, before I make this too long, give it up you fruity freaks. All the garbage you believe in is baseless fairy BULLSHIT and I'm sick of it. Do everyone a favor who actually lives in reality, and just shut the hell up! I'm not gonna stand by anymore while any douchebag wastes my or my friends' times with any of this crap like it actually has base.

Thanks for reading ya'll. Thoughts? Douchebag experiences you can share?

Peace.