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| 01:05 AM | ||
| Users Online Now: 1,740 (Who's On?) | Visitors Today: 108,746 | |
| Pageviews Today: 142,808 | Threads Today: 33 | Posts Today: 550 |
| 01:05 AM | ||
My Holiday Nightmare Looms: The In-Laws' Suburban Junk Food Culinary Hell | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 844138  United States12/18/2009 06:26 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 826445 United States12/18/2009 06:34 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 844138 United States12/18/2009 06:44 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | What's so weird is they have no idea why they all have gastric problems. One keeps having operations on her vocal cords because she burps up acid from her stomach and it inflames her throat and causes growths. But they eat mostly sugar, refined carbs, fat and meat. If they eat any natural fruit or vegetable, they have to cook it to death and then put a lot of butter, cheese or other grease on it. They don't seem to realize that a diet of junk and processed foods, fat and starches, might cause heartburn or acid stomach. |
Nine's
 User ID: 791743 United States12/18/2009 06:47 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 844138 United States12/18/2009 06:47 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | They stare when I eat during visits, because I eat a lot of raw fruits and vegetables. They act like I'm a savage because I'll bring a pineapple or melon and just cut up pieces of it to eat for lunch along with nuts and seeds. They keep telling me it's bad to eat uncooked food. I don't think they knew you could eat broccoli raw until they saw me do it. Last time, I just told them I'm on a diet. In a way, it's true. In a way, it's true. My diet is natural whole foods, usually fresh and I don't cook veggies and fruits, unless I have to or have some recipe in mind. |
| Nine's
User ID: 791743 United States12/18/2009 06:53 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 844138 United States12/18/2009 07:05 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | The last time I tried to cook in my mother-in-law's house, I decided to make some clam linguine because they live on the coast and they like seafood. Now my mother in law knew she wouldn't be eating any of it because it contains tomatoes, and she won't eat anything with citric acid in it. (Seriously, no kidding. She says it makes her stomach more acid, so she doesn't eat citric acid but she eats lots of fat, sugar and carbohydrates. Actually, fruit doesn't make your stomach produce a lot of acid, but the combination of fat + carbohydrates does!) Anyways, she wasn't going to eat any of the clam sauce anyways, but she hung over my shoulder and criticized everything I did. When I cut up the fresh garlic, she ran around behind me shrieking "my house smells like garlic, my house smells like garlic". According to her, when she was growing up, "the immigrants" smelled like garlic. Apparently, normal people don't smell like garlic and you're low class if you use the stuff. Then, she told me she had no oregano, which later turned out to be untrue. She also claimed to have no red pepper or cayenne pepper. That was the last time I tried to cook there. Anything I try to make is like pulling teeth from resentful, suspicious natives. Basically, there's no place for spicy, aromatic or zesty food. Everything has to be in a cream, butter, or Cheez Whiz sauce. If there's some junk food ingredient that comes in a box stamped "Kraft", "Nabisco" or "General Foods", even better! And definitely, none of that low-class, immigrant-smelling garlic! |
| Suddenly Samsonized User ID: 836669 United States12/18/2009 07:15 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 844138 United States12/18/2009 07:17 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Cheez Whiz ingredients: Milk And Part-Skim Milk, Water, Whey, Milkfat, Sodium Phosphate, Contains Less Than 2% Of Dried Corn Syrup, Salt, Worcestershire Sauce (Vinegar, Water, Molasses, Corn Syrup, Salt, Sugar, Caramel Color, Dried Garlic, Spice, Anchovies, Tamarino, Natural Preservative, Annatto (Color), Oleoresin Paprika, Enzymes THERE ARE NO CHEESE CULTURES IN THERE. They call it "Cheez" because they can't legally call it "Cheese" without any cheese ingredients.  And the stuff has phosphates in it!! -- Sodium phosphate. That's what detergents and coke have in them, which is why detergents can break down mineral stains and a cup of coke can dissolve a tooth left to sit in it |
| Suddenly Samsonized User ID: 836669 United States12/18/2009 07:20 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | By the all means take your own food. Have extra to share, not that they probably will. You do want to be polite though. Just say you have allergies and would never dream of asking anyone to prepare such food. It tool you a long time to get used to it yourself. Go figure there are Cheese Whiz connosisseurs. They will never understand. Crushed potato chips as toppings. "And yes, every year, after these feasts of inventive dishes where junk and processed food is mixed in recipes at home and the result is called "cooking from scratch for guests", I get rashes, gain weight, develop sleepnessness and depression and it takes me about a month to recover." Oh, please video some of the time together. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 819509  Canada12/18/2009 07:21 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Real food tastes SO MUCH BETTER and really isn't much more work at all. Just eat more of the real foods -- turkey, and the potatoes (assuming they're not instant potatoes lol.). Repulsive. Just be thankful you don't go over there often. Guzzle water like crazy afterward, and take some chlorophyll; that should help to clean out your system. ACV should help somewhat, too. |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 844138 United States12/18/2009 07:25 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Oh, and what isn't flavored with some prepackaged ramen noodle mix, potato chips, Cheez Whiz, Chex Mix, canned soup or other processed/junk food -- is drowned in butter. They go through about 4 pounds of butter each holiday. I've seen the preps. So you have basically a butter-based dinner. There's the mashed-potato-flavored butter dish, the brown-sugar-and-sweet-potato butter dish, the peas-flavored butter dish... and that's before you get to dessert! BUTTER IS NOT A SPICE! |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 844138 United States12/18/2009 07:28 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | It's the MSG; I get bad stomach aches and headaches from it as well. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 819509Real food tastes SO MUCH BETTER and really isn't much more work at all. Just eat more of the real foods -- turkey, and the potatoes (assuming they're not instant potatoes lol.). Repulsive. Just be thankful you don't go over there often. Guzzle water like crazy afterward, and take some chlorophyll; that should help to clean out your system. ACV should help somewhat, too. It could be the MSG! I learned right here on GLP that American processed food makers use MSG more than Asians, now. Someone posted a great thread here listing how many ways MSG is "hidden" in the ingredients label. Instead of MSG, they call it "hydrolyzed vegetable protein", "caseinate", and so on. There are some 10-12 common names that they use on ingredients labels instead of "MSG" because people don't know those words mean "MSG"! |
| Suddenly Samsonized User ID: 836669 United States12/18/2009 07:29 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Oh, and what isn't flavored with some prepackaged ramen noodle mix, potato chips, Cheez Whiz, Chex Mix, canned soup or other processed/junk food -- is drowned in butter. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 844138They go through about 4 pounds of butter each holiday. I've seen the preps. So you have basically a butter-based dinner. There's the mashed-potato-flavored butter dish, the brown-sugar-and-sweet-potato butter dish, the peas-flavored butter dish... and that's before you get to dessert! BUTTER IS NOT A SPICE! Apparently Cheez Whiz is  step away! |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 844138 United States12/18/2009 07:29 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | It's the MSG; I get bad stomach aches and headaches from it as well. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 819509Real food tastes SO MUCH BETTER and really isn't much more work at all. Just eat more of the real foods -- turkey, and the potatoes (assuming they're not instant potatoes lol.). Repulsive. Just be thankful you don't go over there often. Guzzle water like crazy afterward, and take some chlorophyll; that should help to clean out your system. ACV should help somewhat, too. I'll try that, thanks. I could do some cleansing diet stuff while there. |
| Nine's
User ID: 791743 United States12/18/2009 07:37 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | The best humor stems from frustration. It's obvious that the thought of attending this affair is frustrating. Don't develop an ulcer. They'll swear it was from eating raw veggies.  |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 844213 United States12/18/2009 07:38 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 131223 United States12/18/2009 08:08 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Butter is the least of your worries, its what else they add to the butter that is an abomination. At least butter is an actual food, not a Franken- food substitute. Here is what I have done in those situations. Offer to bring a dish or appetizer. Unless its a formal sit down dinner, an additional dish is usually welcome. Bring something clean that you like to eat, and fits the occasion. Then eat mostly just that. Eat a little of what else they have, that isn't too chemical, if you can find any. When they ask why aren't you eating the rest of the food, politely tell them certain ingredients really upset your stomach. Say you finally had a food test and tested positive with reactions to corn. Say you can eat a little, but too much gives you the shits. Corn is a good one, because it will be in all the junk food- corn syrup, corn solids, high fructose corn syrup- etc. Better to be labeled allergic with a sensitive stomach than be considered rude or weird or judgmental- or sick for the rest of your holiday. And, don't bother to try and change their way of eating, save your breath. It just causes resentment and you won't change their minds. Even if the food tastes like shit, to you, they did go through a lot of time and expense to prepare it. And they like it. You unfortunately, are out numbered. And they are your in laws, keep the peace, but don't make yourself sick to please them. |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 844138 United States12/18/2009 08:10 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | OP---I'm really curious how your husband reacted to your healthy diet when you first got together. Did he resist trying non-Cheez Wiz based foods? Quoting: Anonymous Coward 844213It works out really well. We have a lot of raw veggies, fruits, nuts & seeds, and hard cheese, for lunch and snacks. So by the time we have dinner, we've had most of our daily requirement for fruits and veggies, so I can make a simple meal from scratch, without making a whole 4 course meal with side dishes and salad, etc. So instead of making a big dinner with side dishes, I just make one or two main things. So while I do cook from scratch, I don't make big complicated menus. That would take all day. But when I do something special like make handmade pasta noodles from scratch, he really loves it. So not cooking all our food makes it easier for me to do nice things for the things I do cook. I don't really blame my relatives for cooking with processed foods as ingredients, because it makes the work of cooking more manageable. I'm just frustrated because they block me and act disrespectful when I try to manage what I eat, as if they're in denial that someone might have a hard time with allergies to chemical food additives. It's like some people have the belief that if some food comes in a box or bottle with a "Nabisco" or "Kraft" label on it, it's a modern miracle. Like processed food is more sanitary and safer than unprocessed food and people who don't eat processed food primitive savages. |
| awthrawthr
User ID: 844234 United States12/18/2009 08:15 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation |  For the sheer pleasure of the dysfunctional human condition. Got pain? Free relief. [link to lowerpain.org] |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 844138 United States12/18/2009 08:17 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Butter is the least of your worries, its what else they add to the butter that is an abomination. At least butter is an actual food, not a Franken- food substitute. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 131223Here is what I have done in those situations. Offer to bring a dish or appetizer. Unless its a formal sit down dinner, an additional dish is usually welcome. Bring something clean that you like to eat, and fits the occasion. Then eat mostly just that. Eat a little of what else they have, that isn't too chemical, if you can find any. When they ask why aren't you eating the rest of the food, politely tell them certain ingredients really upset your stomach. Say you finally had a food test and tested positive with reactions to corn. Say you can eat a little, but too much gives you the shits. Corn is a good one, because it will be in all the junk food- corn syrup, corn solids, high fructose corn syrup- etc. Better to be labeled allergic with a sensitive stomach than be considered rude or weird or judgmental- or sick for the rest of your holiday. And, don't bother to try and change their way of eating, save your breath. It just causes resentment and you won't change their minds. Even if the food tastes like shit, to you, they did go through a lot of time and expense to prepare it. And they like it. You unfortunately, are out numbered. And they are your in laws, keep the peace, but don't make yourself sick to please them. I've wondered if it's the corn, or the msg. They say 70% of foods with high fructose corn syrup in it also tests positive for mercury because of how they process HFCS. I'm allergic to mercury and a couple other metals. Yes, that's good advice. I've been struggling with sickness around these visits, and they get insulted and resentful when I have problems eating something. I'm just going to load up on my food around the sit-down meals and pick at the sit-down food. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 730536 United States12/18/2009 08:25 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 844138 United States12/18/2009 08:28 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 131223 United States12/18/2009 08:51 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I used to have a lot of problems with my mother in law, resulting in one notable outburst, that my husband and I still laugh at, years later. She liked pickled herring, and for years, she would eat the little packaged jars, that they would sell at Walgreens & such. One year, we thought we would splurge, and surprise her, with really fresh herring. So, we drove across the city, and went to a traditional european fish market, and bought fresh pickled herring. We brought it to her, and she yelled at us, saying, basically, what is this crap? We said, its fresh, Mom, and she screamed back...." But, I don't WANT it fresh!!" After that, we stopped trying to change her tastes, and holidays were more peaceful. Trust me, you can't change their minds, all you can do is control what goes into your own body. And, yes, avoiding all forms of MSG (its in a lot of natural processed foods too), watch for "natural flavors" and forms of yeast, they are code for MSG. And processed corn. Avoid, its evil. Shop the outside of the aisles at the grocer & avoid processed foods as much as you can. |
| The Monk User ID: 762691 United States12/18/2009 08:57 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I'm dreading the annual culinary hell that is my husband's family's suburban junk food cooking. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 844138Honestly, before I started having holidays at the in-laws' house, I had no idea people still ate Cheez Whiz. I guess I must have known some people eat it, because it's still on grocery shelves, after all. But my only experience with Cheez Whiz was black stand-up comics making fun of Cheez Whiz and White Bread being white people's soul food. Yet, every X-mas there is not only Cheez Whiz served up for guests, but there is Cheez Whiz in multiple forms, like (1) mixed with canned salsa as a festive dip -- this will be the only non-bland food of the entire day, by the way (2) mixed with one or more starches like in a Cheez Whiz scalloped potato bake or a rice-broccoli-Cheez Whiz bake (3) mixed with one or more veggies, like the inventive dish one sister in law made last time: canned green beans mixed with canned mushroom soup and Cheez Whiz. Yet, Cheez Whiz is only the beginning. My husband's in-laws must be cutting recipes from the back of every junk food box or can they buy. One year there was the Crunchy-Ramen-Noodle-Waldorf Salad, and let's not forget potato chips crumbled on top of some baked squash. And yes, every year, after these feasts of inventive dishes where junk and processed food is mixed in recipes at home and the result is called "cooking from scratch for guests", I get rashes, gain weight, develop sleepnessness and depression and it takes me about a month to recover. After 2 years of 3-5 holiday visits a year at my in-laws', my doctor and I conclude I could go to an allergist to find out exactly which artificial additives and chemicals in these junk processed foods (which I never ate before), I'm allergic to. But what's the point in that time and expense for the medical investigation? So I know what junk foods I hate that I'm allergic to? But what's even worse is the ugly judgmentalism of my sister in laws, who each outweigh me by about 30 lbs and who look like they could be my mothers. Every holiday they show grim satisfaction when they watch me choke down food that they know I keep telling them I'm not used to eating, and can't tolerate very well. Every holiday, I get sick. They gossip that I'm obsessed with health food and am afraid to gain weight. In their world, presumably, all the women eat prepackaged foods, processed food and junk food all the time, and they also feed it to their kids. This holiday, I've made up my mind to simply bring my own food and make up a separate plate, not touching the group dishes. I really do have to put a stop to this cycle of culinary abuse that makes my holidays a hell. Yes, this holiday, I'm really going to put my foot down. Put your foot down for real and stop going there for the holidays. Who says you have to spend it with a bunch food junkies. It makes me sick just thinking about eating shit like that. Disgusting. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 762691 United States12/18/2009 09:04 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | OP---I'm really curious how your husband reacted to your healthy diet when you first got together. Did he resist trying non-Cheez Wiz based foods? Quoting: Anonymous Coward 844138It works out really well. We have a lot of raw veggies, fruits, nuts & seeds, and hard cheese, for lunch and snacks. So by the time we have dinner, we've had most of our daily requirement for fruits and veggies, so I can make a simple meal from scratch, without making a whole 4 course meal with side dishes and salad, etc. So instead of making a big dinner with side dishes, I just make one or two main things. So while I do cook from scratch, I don't make big complicated menus. That would take all day. But when I do something special like make handmade pasta noodles from scratch, he really loves it. So not cooking all our food makes it easier for me to do nice things for the things I do cook. I don't really blame my relatives for cooking with processed foods as ingredients, because it makes the work of cooking more manageable. I'm just frustrated because they block me and act disrespectful when I try to manage what I eat, as if they're in denial that someone might have a hard time with allergies to chemical food additives. It's like some people have the belief that if some food comes in a box or bottle with a "Nabisco" or "Kraft" label on it, it's a modern miracle. Like processed food is more sanitary and safer than unprocessed food and people who don't eat processed food primitive savages. I commend your healthy cooking. Holidays for me as a kid meant trips down south to grandmothers home cooking which consisted mostly of veggies from the vegetable garden that were frozen for winter use. Home grown creamed corn, lima beans, black eyed peas, my grandfathers fat juicy red tomatoes in the summer months, scratch made corn bread and scratch custard pies. Sometimes we would eat the days catch of catfish all battered and fried and her handmade biscuits every morning were wonderful. Nothin like real southern cooking. |
That was great. Thanks!
