What is your Most Embarrassing Fart Story

LMAO!

lol win

My sister and I were 13 and 14, sitting in Catholic church on Good Friday of all days, and already my mom was nudging us and giving us dirty looks, when a man came and sat down in front of us and let out the LOUDEST, LONGEST fart that just reverberated off the pew and echoed all through the church. We sat, stunned for a few seconds, then started giggling. Then looked at each other and were trying so hard not to laugh we were shaking all over and making those snickering sounds out of our noses with our hands over our mouths. My mom was sooo mad, and then she leaned over and in a stage whisper said "IF YOU KEEP LAUGHING LIKE THAT EVERYONE IS GOING TO KNOW YOU DID IT!"
For a moment, that was a sobering thought, and we both stopped, but then my sister looked over at me and we lost it all over again!

here's another...
2nd wife is a professional photographer.
she had just had our daughter and a friend wanted her to photo her wedding...so here we are in church during the service...I'm minding the baby...wife's taking pictures, while her assistant is running the video cam just over my left shoulder.
just as the preacher calls "let up pray" I glance down at my little one who has a grimace on her face...and she let's go with the loudest fart I've ever heard from a human being...(churches are designed for sound amplification ya know)

I had to grab the little one and run because I could not keep quite and hold a straight face...the bride was in tears at the end of the ceremony...and my ass was grass!

LOL!

Repeated farts doing sit ups in gym class. It was like pull the handle make a fart come out. Poor chap holding my legs down.

finniest story

I am still trying to find the humor in this story, but I will tell it anyway. One day, about 30 years ago, I was out with my Mom to find a B-day gift for my Dad. We went into a store that sold indoor gaming stuff... billards and darts. Well, the store was completely empty and quiet except for three bored salesmen who all rushed over to help us buy something. We were all standing around in a circle when my Mom hauls back and lets out a keeper... everyone knew who committed this act. The salesmen all kept a straight face, but my Mom just couldn't keep it together and started smiling, then she was giggling, then she looked at me and lost it. I was only 16 yrs old and completely mortified so I said I was going to checkout the store next door and got the hell outta there. It occurs to me now that I never asked Mom how it went after I left.... I need to do that.

My friend was joining the para regiment and before he went we had a big party. Some one produced a joint and he had a smoke on it, as he was pissed. Next day he said what if they test me? i will have drugs in my system. So he decided to take a load of anti biotics to camoflage the drugs. It worked fine. How ever every time he went for his daily run, he couldnt stop farting hehe and as he was always in the front every one cursed him saying he had some kind of turbo up his ass. yeas later we still laugh about it,

Me too.

About 10 in a row!

Everytime I sat up, lol!

I felt whoopie cushion.

The person holding my feet took the brunt of it.


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I think this guy has the most embarrassing fart.

I had to fart when i was in the library with my young daughter. I thought it would come out silently but it was a man sized fart. It sounded like a lawn mower hehe lol

My daughter threw her books on floor and said "omg i dont know you" and left me standing there.

This gave me the giggles and i was laughing and giggling and she came up to me and said "Mom you already farted now you are laughing all by yourself. People already think you are a nasty person now they think you are crazy"

Needless to say I didnt go back in there for awhile rofl.

I was at the grocery store pushing my cart through the aisles and all of a sudden I had to let one go. Unfortunately the aisles were full of people and I figured I could hold it long enough to find a clear aisle and let it go there but by the time I turned the corner, there was a mom and her two kids standing right there. I had no choice. I angled my ass towards the tallest youngster and burned one through my pants right into her face. It was loud and smelled bad. But my choice was perfect. The mom thought it was her daughter and apologized to me for being in the vicinity. "It's ok!" I smiled, half blushing. I then hurried off and went to checkout.

My husband and I were celebrating our anniversarry at an upscale hotel and we were in the afterglows of lovemaking. He was spooning me and i let one rip. Unfortunately for him, it was wet and sprayed on him, I died laughing and he was pissed at me. Needless to say, there was no more cuddling that night. He can laugh about it now, but oh was he mad at me.

I didn't fart for two months ...

My doctor put me on powerful antibiotics and although I gorged myself on probiotics and yogurt I couldn't muster one little fartlette in two whole months. A mans not a man unless he can fart. It was awful!

what's spooning?