Got a lunch date with my good buddy's ex-girlfriend tomorrow-- she doesn't know I got fat. This should be fun

Opie, you’re contradicting yourself...

crossed paths over instagram. She was posting stories in our office lobby...

Troll thread fail.

lol who exactly would I be trolling in this case?

It's just lunch. Since your buddy is married, can't imagine why you'd need to tell him.

Maybe she'll whip you back into shape.

Have fun.

Sorry, OP, if she's the fake breasts type, then looks may be part of her world.

You didn't say why your friend broke up with her after 7 years. Sounds like he knows her well -- what does he know that you don't?

Could have been 7 year itch, but you may want to find out.

brah did she get that fake boob job fixed yet.. if no then she got flabby too..

Total bro code moment. Talk to your friend. Remember: Ex's are Ex's for a reason.

Not like it makes it any better, but they broke up after 7 years because the both where cheating with others. When he realized she had a one night stand it was the excuse to end it all.

But they were both mid-late 20s at the time, so there's that young adulthood immaturity.

Actually at his bachelor party he asked me if I fucked her, which I never did. Apparently around 2014 he saw were were snapchat friends when snapchat use to list everyone's top 3.d up

I'm gonna just have lunch and catch up, will talk to my bro if I think I'll end up doing something stupid, not worried as I'm fat and I wouldn't wanna fuck myself.

Nice car and great job helps though, lol

How tall are you? If your 6ft+, you should be in good shape. If your under 6ft.......

Maybe you are reading too much into this. Kind of not to cool to drill into sloppy seconds. Don't be too surprised if the only pumping that you get is being pumped for information.

DONT WORRY BOUT DA BRO...TAKE HER TO SEE 'JOKER' AND TELL HER HOW LONELY YOU'VE BEEN....SHOULD GET AT LEAST A PITY FUCK!

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6ft exactly. Don't hold it well, although my chest is as big as my stomach

Face it bro... This is your future.

oh definitely

brah tell her how you couldn't stop thinking about her while she was with your bud.. smooth moves.

There are many ways to interpret that. Did you get prescribed that Risperdal drug? If so, maybe she is bi-sexual?

But at 6ft, 250 lbs though, it isn't the end of the world. If she mentions weight, just say "yeah, last few years have been busy and my health slipped", and keep it along the lines that your starting to get back in shape(which you should for your own health).

Order something light. Like chicken/fish+ a salad to make it seem legit and avoid soda.

She is approaching the Wall, and will likely overlook the weight issue, as long as she thinks your on the road to self improvement, as she remembers what you can be.

Just hit.. Hit it raw dog for old times sake.. Then quit it.. No hellos or goodbyes needed..

Funny that I know what Risperdal is, but no. P90X program and I use to do 300-400 push ups a day to fill my chest out. As I stopped working out, fat added to the area, so meh. I honestly don't care as much as I use to back in my 20s and now just care about making money.

Thanks for the tips, yeah, she remembers what I can be... lol

You gotta roll into the date on a rascal...one of those mobility scooters.....for added effect.....have a large bike pennant flag on it with a maga flag and a couple of raccoon tails......

Heart disease, stroke, diabetes, cancer, liver failure, kidney failure and etc, are good reasons to want to get in shape. You don't need 300 push ups a day, 30 a day will work as well.

Money can't buy good health(unless your a billionaire, even then it is iffy).

Hahahahaha. I'd love to see her face.

lol

Do you know if she got fat?

He is going to be surprised when is 250 Herself.

What would you do OP ?

Translation: OP is gonna order an extra large pizza and 2 dozen wings (on mom's credit card of course), gorge himself, and then have a greasy wank. If he's lucky, he might be able to reach his obese ass with his other hand and finger his asshole.

Opie’s been following her on Instagram...