Heh, one for my creator

:mflove6:

The Dark Night of the Soul....we've all had them. They're brutal and intense.

Heh, I've been on the floor on my hands and knees crying and hurt and raging back in the day....seriously. I was crying out for my creator to help me.....heh, my solar plexus just heaved. Tough stuff, remembering those feelings and times.

Those "dark nights" are indeed brutal. Productive, but brutal.

The following song reminds me of that feeling of despondency....although I'm not despondent now. If I remember correctly, Clapton wrote this song about his son that died.

It's an instrumental....and, prepare yourself, it is very expressive. You might need a hankie.




[link to www.youtube.com (secure)]

a good one for those kinda vibes...

"I don't know whether I'm the boxer or the bag"



[link to www.youtube.com (secure)]

And it just makes me wonder, why so many lose, so few win....





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.....give me something to believe in.....please

song written as his insanity was growing,
saw it coming

Heh....your words and the awesome blues work of the song had my brain rapid fire, zoom-zoom fast making thought balls......


So, thank you for that....I'm not as vacant as I'm feeling.





And that was some badass blues right there.....

Heh, I love it when I "hear" back from my creator so quickly. You see, I thought I was about ready to get laid off.

Things have gotten rough for the company I contract with. Like a lot of other businesses, they're suffering....well, it's not only the shut down, it's an insurance company went bankrupt and their contract went to another company that's paying .15 less a mile for the transportation. My regular subscribed run is about 140 miles round trip, so that's a $21 hit for the company, just for that one run, and there are multiple runs daily...some of them upwards of 300-400 miles. All us long run drivers had to take a pay cut of $10 a run a couple of weeks ago. Given the financial loss for the company, I think that was a generous cut, as far as cuts go.

They've had to lay off multiple people this last week....I was just waiting to get "the call." My heart was already breaking, because I love my job, so much. I would be lost without it for awhile.

But at least for now, it seems like I must've made the cut, because I'm working tomorrow, and I already have two work runs scheduled for Tuesday....this is the first time I've been told of a run so early like that.

I feel so bad for the people who got laid off.... it must be brutal for them....we're independent contractors, so no unemployment, I don't think. Just thinking I was going to be one of them was tearing me up. We all love our jobs so very much, and we love our bosses even more.


Even so, through my tears, I am so very GRATEFUL I'm still working. Since this shut down, I have nearly daily spoken of gratitude for the universe working the way it did, me getting a daily subscribed client RIGHT BEFORE the shut down, securing an income for myself. The company's work run incoming requests just about flat lined for months after the shutdown. It was bleak for many of our long run drivers. It just really is so very saddening, what's been happening to people's lives. It's not an easy time to be a full blown empath, either....I'm so f'n raw after this week, I want to rip my heart out of my chest and give it a hug, because it's hurting so much.


Pfht, all of me needs a hug..... imma gonna grab my son when he comes over in a bit and get me one. It's not very often I let my guard down to say I NEED a hug, but I do need one today.


But, I am very grateful. I'm very grateful I've been the type of employee to be kept on....at least for now. I'm grateful I know enough to be grateful, because that energy builds a best life possible. I'm very grateful my earlier "plea" was heard, the response was swift, and I know I'm still employed. I'm really very grateful I do not have to live in that hell-space wherein I thought I was going to be laid off all this long weekend.

Yes, despite all the tears and whoopdeedoo emotional roller coaster ride, I am GRATEFUL.....





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I just got my hug.....

[link to www.youtube.com (secure)]

Ya know, I've been thinking a lot lately about just who is my creator....heh, more so than usual. It's been on my mind since I was a wee one, though.

The thing is, I am always to take responsibility for my own life. That's Human Bean 101...."God helps those who help themselves," right?


Well, at least when something is actually rightfully there's to help themselves to....


At any rate, I think I've finally come to the conclusion that, in a sense, I am my own creator....and don't now get me fucked up in your head with one who thinks they're a god, though. Don't even.


I mean, I know very well this reality realm is way messed up, but I CAN create a niche - through exercising my emotion - where I can become....softer, even when the world of people is off the hook right outta their ever lovin' minds.


Ahem.


Harhar, it sometimes takes some kicking and screeching to get to be softer....but I always arrive there, like a horse rode hard and put away wet. It's sometimes a rough ride being me. Ain't no joke.


I am le tired. I'm getting older. Heh. Yeah. I'm disappointed and I'm exhilarated. I am a human bean, just trying to get home....like so many of youse guyses.


We're born to always be on our way, eh?.....





[link to www.youtube.com (secure)]



I love-love youse guyses.....good night....

and take care you fukn angel! Wake gentle.

:)

I am proud of who I am. No more monsters, I can breath again.


So little in life we need to ACTUALLY do.....to get rid of the consciousness "monsters" we bear and to become people we can be proud of.

So simply difficult. So simply required. So simple it does become, once the heart is made up and all is done.

Please, know this.


NOW, that is all....

Who owns the keyless door?


I sometimes wonder if it's me.....





[link to www.youtube.com (secure)]

Can you wander and be in the same place at the same time?

Well, actually I have done that, numerous times!


....it's called an OBE.



Good evening, lovey....

Good evening my good friend.

Wandering and staying in place is a good thing.

Come party with me on my newly posted party thread.....

Link?

I don't see it...

Dude, do you even Profile?.....


Thread: Get your party gown! Get your pigtail down! Get your heart beatin' baby!

How we do it, I'm not sure, but.....we hold on. Even though sometimes it's so hard to, we do keep holding on....to your creation.








[link to www.youtube.com (secure)]

Some people just dont get it.

You are one of the few who does.

Heh....I'm on my way, I'm on my way, home sweet home....

Newton, I had an interesting morning, a work run rare....it was a client who knows about some of the woowoo things we talk about on GLP, he's a Trump supporter, but he didn't know everything.....like, he didn't know about the shift or timeline glitches or (what others like to call) the Mandela Effect.


For over two hours this guy grilled me, asking me questions....and, harhar, I'm so old and experienced now, everything just fell of my tongue beautifully.


I was conscientious. With every terrible piece of information I shared, I backed it up with positivity....with something uplifting.


I'm actually proud of myself, how I handled myself. I was careful and my words were measured, yet I was speaking freely. There wasn't a word wasted....this guy was listening to me intently.


It's rare to meet someone who wants to know....especially like this guy did.


I'm very, very grateful I did have the opportunity to open a fellow human being's mind up a bit more....so easily....very grateful--




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Expressing gratitude was something I spent a good amount of time talking to him about.....it truly is the KEY to finding some authentic happiness while alive.....

That's awesome to me, I've had a few of the same, people just thirsty.

To quench that thirst is a really special feeling my friend.

You can rest easy today.

[link to www.chick.com (secure)]

Yeah, yet I feel a little anxious. I don't think he wanted the conversation to end. I mean, I sat in his driveway filling out my paperwork, and I looked up and he was still standing there, watching me. I waved goodbye to him, he waved back, and I left.

I feel concern for his brian....harhar, if I was him my brian would be deer screamin' for hours....




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(I love that video, and I'm glad I have a sense of humor about the stuff that makes my brain want to POP....but I prolly need to stop playing it, because I do hear it in my head when something I read just messes me so up....because it's so unbelievable and so bad, I am simply unable to wrap my head around it. You're a GLP member, you know what I'm talkin' about.... but my brain is so impressionable that it glams onto things it likes, lol)


I mean, my client was unaware of Organic Portals. After I told him what they were and how they were used - WHO some of them are - after I told him there were more than four billion of them on the planet....I could see the wheels turning in his head. I know at some point our conversation will make him angry. It's a classic response to learning how you've been duped, eh?

We talked for two hours+ straight....he's so in Woowoo Land right now, I am sure. He did tell me he's also an empath.


"It's a good thing to have the mind blown....he's strong, he'll be fine"....that's what I just "heard"....


....that's a relief. I just let out a deep breath.




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You may have saved his life and those in his orbit.

Ever think of that?

[link to www.chick.com (secure)]



I closed my eyes and swayed....that was beautiful. I was about ready to bust a move on a Cry of Loveliness....


Thank you for posting this tune here on this thread.....

No lovey, I don't think like that. The thought never crossed my mind.

I did what I came back to this reality to do, be a System Buster....and I did so while sharing information, intelligently.

I do think I made an impact of his life, but no, I don't think I saved his life....meh, I might've saved him from going into the light after he passes. If I did, THEN I will have saved his life....


But I did have to be prompted to even think about it, eh?