Done with god. Want nothing to do with him. Never want to see or hear from him. He is a complete jerk and I’m done letting him hurt me.

I think I’m just gonna stop working keep my savings and just meditate half the day and do healthy things after that like exercise or writing or making music or something.

I’m just done giving my energy to outlets that hurt me.

Thankfully, marijuana exists.

It is medicine to this cruel sad sick world.

Cue bible thumpers, any second now they'll be telling you its all your fault for being a vile human meat bag.

Truth.

Praying for you OP

post blue

Thank you for being nice to me.

And i appreciate the prayers.

I will light a candle for you also later .

Some people like to judge and condemn.

Others like to educate and lift up.

You know them by their fruits right ?

Still not gonna meditate. You accused me of wanting to molest people while defending those who actually did. Just fuck it.

LOL Gosh, I didn't realize all of creation revolved around YOU and what you want!

Now that I see that is the case, your are right. How dare God not give everything you want!

Um, yer all over the map, Mickey. Specifics?

I’m sorry you’ve had a hard time man. Lemme, ask one thing tho, what are your own thoughts like, about yourself, about life? Do your thought happen or do you choose them?

All I know is that I have a heart of gold. I would give it all to the needy even when it hurts . I disagree with the Bible when it says the human heart is evil. Mine isn’t evil. And this world is ran by psychopaths. And it’s scary. And I’m scared . Not because of what they can do to me, just the current spiritual situation on this physical earth. It is very scary. And I feel god had abandoned me and let me down way to many times. Like my hope gets up and then bam. Crushed again and again and again.

One night I dreamed a dream.
As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to me and one to my Lord.

After the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,
especially at the very lowest and saddest times,
there was only one set of footprints.

This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,
You'd walk with me all the way.
But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me."

He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you
Never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you."

Who did? Did you maybe hear something out of context and not understand what's going on? Maybe they weren't accusing you?

I'm getting attacked hard when I try to meditate, but it's sure not God doing it. Evil jerks doing it, playing really cruel games.

You know I won’t refuse the mark for Jesus or God, I just need a rest from this world and it seem you get one when you don’t take the mark.

Ive said that about 5000 times.
Now im to the point of weary resignation...whatever...my new normal is bizarro universe.

Don't project your incompetence on God.

you don't blame the video game maker when you wipe in a video game? why would you blame god?

In many cases there are legit complaints.

Like 'Why can't I just wave my hand and have my needs met instead of having to dig it out of the ground or rely on other people'?

The way the site is constructed, does it matter if it were out of context or not? Everything's plausible, everything's deniable. Last night, and all the time leading up to it, there were experiences I put aside, including sleep, to do tedious work for tens of hours. You dangled the prospect over my head of that having been a waste of time. From what I'm gathering, it was your usual attempt to force things, and it's just gotten old. Now you're blaming ego, and doing the slander/insult attack because your chain of command doesn't admit to mistakes.

There's television, pornography, music, food, all sorts of things you want me to give up. But you also insist on sending a consistent message that the hard work I do doesn't really matter. Now I've received it loud and clear. I just want a clear statement from you that it doesn't matter, so I can go enjoy myself without guilt. Otherwise, you just want to monopolize my time where you can't use me. It's a toxic and abusive relationship, and you really shouldn't be surprised if I lash out. Again, you can't even discuss it openly on here, so the risk is lopsidedly invested. Too much so for my taste, in fact.

This life is hard for most people, hope things turn around for you OP.






[link to www.chick.com (secure)]

Print out a New Jerusalem Calendar

So even meditation involves attacks? Fuck that.

guess who gave it to u. u should thank him for it.

Thats the way it goes.
Idk why. Too much drama in this universe. I find it infantile. But, what do I know. Maybe its evolution, and it has to be brutal. Ive had to detach as much as possible, the whole thing gives me cognitive dissonance. To thy own self be true.

Hey Op, not for nothin’, since you’ve decided you’re not going have any use for them anyway, & you seem to have a heart of gold, can I have your portion of the heavenly inheritance to add to mine?

Seriously Op, I find myself rehearsing a nearly identical rant every so often. And I know that He has already given us the best He could when He constrained Himself to taking on an earthly body just to end up dying on a cross with seemingly useless but hand-picked supporters watching on with horror. And you & I both already know that was more than He was obligated to do.

Since it seems like He & His current-day supporters could give a rat’s ass about us & our efforts to bless them...perhaps we should just concentrate on looking out after number one first.

Today I skipped church & took a long walk on the beach with young girl who is more than half my age. By the way the date cost less than the ten percent I would’ve put in the plate. It was kind of thrilling to see the glances of presumably dirty-minded old hags who never would’ve given me a smile...hee & snickers...frankly I felt a sense of relief.

Op...Sometimes I feel a closer connection to those folks in the Bible who made the mistake of believing they were just as good at serving God as His appointed priests. I often identify with the outsiders...you know them...Cain, Esau, Kora, Isaiah (look his story up, he felt the same as you when Jealous Jezabel was out to get ‘me & before God opened his eyes to the other servants), yeah even Judas. I know it sound crazy but think about poor ole Lucifer, he is the prince of this world and the go-between for God...look what happened...God bypassed Lucifer & held daily regular meetings with Adam...talk about the ultimate snub...no wonder he hates our guts and wants more than anything to have those created in God’s own image to be aggravated with & loath Him!

Again Op, since you don’t seem to want your reward in heaven can I have it too?

I will pray for you, OP. It's man that's the jerk. As long as we have free will and choose to sin I'm afraid things won't get better.