i was a victim of psychological child abuse - AMA

What if I really want tacos but my alter ego wants cheeseburgers? Who should I give my attention to?

Ok. this is good. ^ this is how the abuser works^.

Ultimately they feed of your negative attention by provoking you to react. Don't give it to them.

Who were your abusers?

I'm not here to help you heal bud, never claimed to be helping you in anyway; thus your claim of abuse is invalid and has no legs to stand on.

Mainly mother. But whole family including brothers.

Once brothers watch and learn mother does it, they join in too.

Mother actually gave me the book Flowers in the Attic to read as an eleven year old. This is a book about a mother abusing her children and attempting to murder them.

Sounds like whiny bitch syndrome. You need to check your hormone levels.

Ok. ^note the abuser is now butthurt and gets defensive and resorts to insults in another attempt to get a negative reaction.^

Again, do not give it to them. They are like vampires who feed of negative attention.

Ok ^another abuser comes out of the woodwork in an attempt to feed off negative attention^.

do not give it.

Wow - very sorry to hear this. Lots of sick people in this world. I hope we all can heal.

I'm not aN "abuser". The problem is that you're a fuckin pussy looking for a reason to cry and get free shit.

You dumb whiny bitch!

GROW THE FUCK UP!!!!

We can. Thanks brother/sister.

Ok ^note the abuser is now VERY defensive here, no doubt ashamed that he is being called out. Note how he ups the ante.^

again. do not respond. Do not feed the vampire who wishes to suckle on your negativity.

This thread is really drawing the abusers out. good... let us see them for what they are.

They wish to feed on us. Do not give them the satisfaction.

How do you feel about your abusers (family) now? Have you found any peace?

I understand that hurt people hurt people in reality. Some of the worst people in the world need the most love (or quick death).

Ok ^note the loser with a large vagina and little brian pretending it has a mental issue. In fact it does have a mental issue, it's just not the mental issue it thinks it has.

Stay strong op, I have same problem from dad and really does exactly what you say. But very few here are here to help.

I hope you find healing somehow and stop telling people they are abusers because they don't want to help coddle your problems. We all have to deal with our lives.

I have found peace yes and am becoming whole again.

how do I feel about my family? My mother was born into a cult and knows no better. She is injured as is the rest of my family but they had the choice to better themselves. They chose not to.

My mother is a religious fanatic btw. Christian.

Although I understand them and can forgive them, I cannot be around them as I am not safe around them.

The real danger is the normalisation of the abuse. The little digs and comments have become so normal that you believe them. That is why i cannot be around them any more.

Thanks. Much love from me to you.

I appreciate your reply. Be well!

Thanks. U too

I have a feeling that many people who are abusers hide behind religion as a safety net.

well if you have a religion which tells you that all you have to do is believe Such and such and you get a free pass into heaven then why not abuse your own children?

Seems like quite the out doesn't it?

What are some skills or coping mechanisms you learned/used while being near your abusers? How about even after getting separated from them?

Do you experience dissociation and if so can you describe it? Have you experienced derealization or depersonalization in any chronic way? Would you consider yourself to have avoidant attachment or are you in tune with your emotions. Do you panic, anxiety? If so, how do you cope?

I ask these questions because I'm curious about your defense mechanisms, if they're anything like mine, and if you developed any strategies to help overcome them that perhaps might assist me as well. Also curious about your current age and what age the abuse started? I'm 32 and my abuse started at 5 years old.

I tried separating at first but they just sent the flying monkeys after me and threatened me with police.

keeping them at arms length helps.

A tactic known as Grey Rock helps.

it is best not to tell them or let them know you are separating.

I just tell them I work 7 days a week and can't get time off.

Give them the future faking carrot on a stick which they are so fond of doing.

I identify with Pete Walker's FREEZE 4F type (fight/flight/freeze/fawn).

I could not fight as they were bigger than me. I could not flight as I had nowhere else to go. I could not fawn as any attempt would be met with 'get out of my sight. So i froze.

Freezing is dissociation. I lost myself in movies. I developed a false self of the 'writer'.

My autonomic nervous system has always been overactive and many innocent people have become the target of this when the reality is my parents are the real target and cause.

As my primary caregivers they did not make me safe. I am not safe around them. all the whilst them telling me it was the world at large who was the problem which is the main cause of the cognitive dissonance already mentioned.

This nonsense is the root of the abuse. Nothing makes sense.

Thank you for the response! I haven't heard of the term grey rock but something tells me I've used it before, unknowingly perhaps.