Oh my... I am gutted by your poem for Frenchy.  It gave me chills and the tears are still falling... 

My heart bows to yours in your love for that little bird...

I understand your ambivalence towards Felicia... that sort of thing is so, so hard.... so hard to understand and so hard to be open, in trust, after someone does something so unthinkable and violent... 

forgiving her is forgiving yourself

I'm giving a lot of focus to forgiveness lately and that's what I'm finding.  Gentleness towards self is what's needed most, I believe...

I'm sorry that happened to you, your wife and poor little Frenchy...