New Microsoft Word Update Includes Politically Correct Grammar Checks

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you read that correctly. The Microsoft Office software suite on my work laptop just completed an update a few days ago. Nothing unusual in that, really, but imagine my surprise just now as I'm typing away, minding my own business, and Word underlines the word crap in blue, indicating a grammar/punctuation problem.

"What the heck?" I think to myself, knowing that the four-word sentence I had just typed was in no way grammatically incorrect, nor had I misspelled crap. So I hover my mouse over the word crap to see what Word's problem with it is.

And my otherwise relaxing, happy Friday afternoon was ruined as Microsoft Word chided me for using language "that some readers may find offensive."

I paused. You. Have. GOT. To. Be. Fucking. Kidding. Me.

Seriously????? The word crap might offend someone???? As in the phrase, "crappy software???" I immediately clicked on the "Don't check for this issue" option without thinking. Then it occurred to me: What OTHER supposed offensiveness is Microsoft Word checking me for?

Read on, and find out just how deep this rabbit hole goes.

According to the options list under "Grammar & Refinements," Microsoft Word is checking for:

Inclusiveness
- Age Bias
- Cultural Bias
- Ethnic Slurs
- Gender Bias
- Gender-Neutral Pronouns
- Gender-Specific Language
- Racial Bias
- Sexual Orientation Bias

But wait! There's more!

If you upgrade right now, your documents will also apparently be scanned for "Sensitive Geopolitical References" and "Profanity."

Most of you who know me know I am very much a moderate centrist with a live-and-let-live attitude towards others. I don't care about your age, your culture, your ethnicity, your gender, your race, or your sexual orientation... or your politics, for that matter, as long as you don't try to force it down my throat (metaphorically speaking, of course). Let's review:

Age Bias? Nope. Don't care about your age, as long as you act like a civilized human being.

Culture Bias? Nope. Don't care about your culture, as long as you act like a civilized human being.

Ethnic Bias? Nope. Don't care about your ethnicity, as long as you act like a civilized human being.

Gender Bias? Nope. Don't care about your gender, as long as you act like a civilized human being.

Gender Neutral or Gender Specific Bias? Nope. Don't care how you identify yourself, as long as you act like a civilized human being.

Racial Bias? Nope. Don't care about your race, as long as you act like a civilized human being.

Sexual Orientation Bias? Nope. Don't care about your sexual orientation, as long as you act like a civilized human being.

Is everybody picking up on a pattern here?????????

But fuck Microsoft if they think they can peer over my shoulder and give me a blue underline every time I use a word that might potentially offend someone based on the recent trend of some people finding any excuse to be offended by anything.

This is EXACTLY why I do not use ANY Microsoft products, except on my work-assigned laptop, and even that might be switched to a Linux operating system soon if we can work around the format problems between Microsoft PowerPoint and LibreOffice Impress.

I truly don't mind if someone wants to consider themselves "woke." I really don't. Hey, you be you; and I'll be me. But sneaking in this woke shit to monitor me as I type on my computer is crossing the damn line.

So, mind your P's and Q's, folks. If my word processing software is doing this crap to me, it won't be long before web browsers follow suit.

Free Open Source Software for the win!