sharing

hope to see you again in dreamworld.

good night, querido.

good evening!

this past weekend started the weekly festival where i live. part of it showcases the rich local history.

i may have gone a bit overboard on my cholula sauce, but it made the cauliflour such a pretty color!

i only slept a little bit last night, but the first time i woke up, getting pulled back into my body was very intense, my face, i wasn't sure i was okay for a moment.

for the past two weeks or so, everytime i wake up, i have no concept of what time of day it is, what day of the week it is, what year it is, or where i am.

when i napped this afternoon, i woke up staring at the moon on my ceiling and it helped ground me to remember where i was. at first the ceiling was an ocean, then the ocean cleared and i saw the moon, and i began to have some concept of where i was.

does this ever happen to you?

when i was napping yesterday morning, my clavicle was in its most ideal position, all my muscles were so relaxed.

when i woke up, i knew the exact stategy that i want to apply with kinesotape to create a kind of proprioceptive sling to remind my body where this position was while under the influence of gravity.

so far, my taping strategy is a success, however, at the expense of some scapulothoracic motion. ideally my scapulothoracic joint can take on the debt to allow my clavicle to participate in the healing environment that the tape is helping to facilitate.

good night, querido.

good afternoon,

how are you?

Major Tom is also asking and whistling.

good evening,

i am glad i had spin class tonight, i needed it to distract me and elevate my mood.

twelve weeks ago i had a test. was supposed to take ten days to get the results back. i messaged the office multiple times to ask the doctor to please contact me about the results. it took the doctor ten weeks from when the test results came back just to contact me, blah, blah, excuses, the results from this reference lab does not come into our typical results folder that alert us. it also took me some time to find it. he did apologize.

it's just frustrating how hard it is to get good care and good follow up, and this is just the state of medicine right now.

so that was frustrating, but then the results weren't good either, and i am feeling down, bc it feels out of my control.

my clavicle, that is within my control, it's biomechanics, and i will fix it, even if it takes me two more years, but an internal disease process that feels like something i maybe can manipulate, but is not able to be manipulated in the same way that i can alter a biomechanical process. it is less tangible. i feel like i am doing everything i possibly can, i don't know anyone else who puts as much effort into their health as i do.

and then next step is to see another specialist, that means i will have three neurologists!

i can see the big picture, they miss the forest for the trees, but i also can't fix this myself!

thank you for listening.

wish you were here.

good night dearest, querido.

good evening!

i just fed Major Tom and Albus dinner. Major Tom was hogging the seed cup, and being meanish to Albus when she tried to get some seeds. this is ironic, bc Albus eats, and then she just feeds it back to Mr. Major.

i got nose to beak with him, and told him he was going to get his feathers pucked by you if he didn't share! once again, he listened!

i hope things are improving every day for you.

good night, querido.

i hope everything is optimal.

i saw a cormorant on land today. i have never seen one on land, and i was up close.

it was so beautiful. i stood there for a few minutes observing it, and it seemed to be observing me just as much.

cormorants can live up to about 25 years in the wild!

there were 32 ducks in the river, 23 geese on the track, and also a fox near the track!

one of my favorite things to do with my grandfather when i was young, was watch nature shows with him. when his emphysema got really bad, he couldn't do all the physical things in nature he liked. i was thinking today, he passed when i was 19, and i wished i could have spent time with him as me being an adult.

you feel by touching and emotionally
you see with vision and intellectually
you smell by sniffing and instinctually/intuitively
you hear via sound and empathically
you taste via flavor and experientially

10 ways of knowing

our five senses impart knowledge we don't even realize at the time. lol

who is this qg, querido guy?

things only improve if you work on them! lol

i bet parrots taste like chicken! lol

little by little and working on it! lol

are you asking if i'm slightly multi-dimensional schizophrenic? lol

he is you!

what does chicken taste like?

i was wondering if the fox yesterday would try to catch a goose to eat it! and then, i was wondering if people eat geese.

is that what not know the time or where i am means, that i am slightly multi-dimensionally schizophrenic?

that was inspiring, thank you for sharing.

glad to see you this afternoon!

thank you for lighting me up.

it eases my spirit to know that you are little by little and working on it.

[link to imgur.com (secure)]

chicken taste a lot like rattle snake, the other white meat!

or a crazy diamond! lol

well, what i call you, you have had multiple names when i refer to you in my dreamjournal, and here, bc i like to address you by a name.

i hope you don't mind me calling you querido.

you are the dearest, y no conozco la palabra dearest en espanol.