Try the ‘Gray Rock Method,’ a Foolproof Technique to Shut Down Toxic People

You’re kind, caring and conscientious, and you try to surround yourself with positive, drama-free people. But it’s not always possible to cut every toxic person out of your life—that’s when the “gray rock method” comes in handy. It’s an easy and effective way to do damage control when you’re dealing with tough personalities, whether it’s a narcissistic co-worker, a sociopathic stepmother or an energy vampire roommate. Here’s the lowdown.

What’s the gray rock method?
We first discovered this handy trick on psychologist Nadene van der Linden’s blog, Unshakeable Calm. Basically, it’s a tool to prevent toxic people from escalating the situation, riling you up and stressing you out—three things they absolutely love to do. By acting as boring, uninteresting and unengaged as possible, the gray rock method discourages the toxic person, and they’ll often seek out a more exciting target for their manipulative behavior. “The best chance we’ve got of a healthy outcome with a toxic person is changing our response to them,” van der Linden says.


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