Im going to stop communicating with my mom and I dont care what society tells me or if I look like a bad son.

So you see your mother as a “piece of shit”?
On each of those occasions that you describe, your mother was presenting a false front to people, particularly to family.
She was ass-kissing to their face, but was the opposite when alone.

Did you ever bother to ask why? What had they done to her, if anything?

I had to stop conversing with my mother after my father had died. They were divorced, yet she had expected to inherit everything he had after he died. NOT! She thought he had forgotten to change his will after their divorce. When she found out he had, and cut her off from anything, she went ballistic. She then got hostile and vulgar with me, as an executive of my father's estate, when she suggested I just give her everything she wanted of his. LOL, but sad. I didn't even go see her in the hospital just before she died. I didn't want to be berated again.

When she got off the phone with them, i shit you not, she literally said "that woman is so dumb" and went on to say why shes dumb. Then i said, "why would you say something like that after the good things you told them on the phone?"
"Oh you dont do anything, youre lazy, you sleep all day, you dont pay any bills, just go live with them then stupid!"

I was 15 at the time.

Wow maybe she was upset because she sacrificed her own life to help two ungrateful men (her husband and son) screw her over and abandon her in the end!

Not knowing the situation, I can't imagine any son would want their own mother to be penniless or suffer in the end and than you didn't even visit her before she died!

Just wow!

why is it anyone's duty to pretend we can prevent, or even should prevent, people from suffering?

no one seems to give a damn they inflict a lifetime of suffering on children from these rampant divorces. are any of these "parents" shamed, and guilt tripped over this? no, they are coddled, and people just carry on and remarry and perpetuate this disgusting mess of a culture, this scabbed together dumpster fire that doesn't care about root solutions because it doesn't acknowledge root problems.

At 40 years old, I finally have the guts to do it and thats end all communication with my mom.

I cant believe it took me this long to realise how wicked she is. Because it was my mother who clothed me, put food on the table, and raised me, those things she did casted a halo affect on me where I wouldnt dare see her in a negative light. Her authoritative figure and being raised to have respect for mom and dad blinded me from seeing how much of a pos she really is.

Now that i made this decision to cut her out of my life, im more angrier than ever, more so at myself for not doing it sooner. Im having flash backs of all our arguments, the shame and guilt she placed on me and im so pissed off at myself for not doing this sooner.

I remember one time she was supposed to go shopping with her in laws and she was on the phone with them. She was telling them how great they are and how she needed them to teach her this and that and how she could learn from them.

When she got off the phone with them, i shit you not, she literally said "that woman is so dumb" and went on to say why shes dumb. Then i said, "why would you say something like that after the good things you told them on the phone?"
"Oh you dont do anything, youre lazy, you sleep all day, you dont pay any bills, just go live with them then stupid!"

I was 15 at the time.

I also remember telling her sister how great her daughter is and seconds when they left our house, she literally said "her daughter is going to be a whore just like her."

I said, thats a mean thing to say after you said all those nice things to their face.

"Oh youre perfect! You can do no wrong. Which is why youre dumb and stupid!"

I shit you not, worse things came out of her mouth which makes those things seem nice. Its like as if demons from hell are speaking some of the most vile, evil, wicked thing.

Im over being mad at her because thats who she is and she cant change. Im pissed off at myself for not seeing her as a pos sooner.

Its so sad cause when I got close to some ppl i would sneak ask them about their moms behavior to see if their mothers acted like mine just to try to prove to myself that my mom wasnt crazy. I kept making excuses for my mom.

No more.

I told my brother, only talk to me about her when shes dying. Other than that, I dont care because if you look at the content that comes out of her mouth, its 95 percent trashing others and 5 percent talking about how great she is.

I dont care that she paid for my health insurance as a kid, worked to pay bills, put food on the table, blah blah blah, i dont care if the family turns on me and sees that im a pos son. If i told them what she said about them they would never forgive her.

Im just going to take the high road and leave and whatever rumors are said about me and whoever believes it, I dont care.

No.

No contact means no contact.

If you do those things you open the door for more.

They are constantly looking for angles and people to wedge their way back into your life.

And usually the things they do and say serve to reinforce the original decision. Has every single time.

At 40 years old, I finally have the guts to do it and thats end all communication with my mom.

I cant believe it took me this long to realise how wicked she is. Because it was my mother who clothed me, put food on the table, and raised me, those things she did casted a halo affect on me where I wouldnt dare see her in a negative light. Her authoritative figure and being raised to have respect for mom and dad blinded me from seeing how much of a pos she really is.

Now that i made this decision to cut her out of my life, im more angrier than ever, more so at myself for not doing it sooner. Im having flash backs of all our arguments, the shame and guilt she placed on me and im so pissed off at myself for not doing this sooner.

I remember one time she was supposed to go shopping with her in laws and she was on the phone with them. She was telling them how great they are and how she needed them to teach her this and that and how she could learn from them.

When she got off the phone with them, i shit you not, she literally said "that woman is so dumb" and went on to say why shes dumb. Then i said, "why would you say something like that after the good things you told them on the phone?"
"Oh you dont do anything, youre lazy, you sleep all day, you dont pay any bills, just go live with them then stupid!"

I was 15 at the time.

I also remember telling her sister how great her daughter is and seconds when they left our house, she literally said "her daughter is going to be a whore just like her."

I said, thats a mean thing to say after you said all those nice things to their face.

"Oh youre perfect! You can do no wrong. Which is why youre dumb and stupid!"

I shit you not, worse things came out of her mouth which makes those things seem nice. Its like as if demons from hell are speaking some of the most vile, evil, wicked thing.

Im over being mad at her because thats who she is and she cant change. Im pissed off at myself for not seeing her as a pos sooner.

Its so sad cause when I got close to some ppl i would sneak ask them about their moms behavior to see if their mothers acted like mine just to try to prove to myself that my mom wasnt crazy. I kept making excuses for my mom.

No more.

I told my brother, only talk to me about her when shes dying. Other than that, I dont care because if you look at the content that comes out of her mouth, its 95 percent trashing others and 5 percent talking about how great she is.

I dont care that she paid for my health insurance as a kid, worked to pay bills, put food on the table, blah blah blah, i dont care if the family turns on me and sees that im a pos son. If i told them what she said about them they would never forgive her.

Im just going to take the high road and leave and whatever rumors are said about me and whoever believes it, I dont care.

I'm so tired of people expecting their parents to be perfect.

At 40 years old, I finally have the guts to do it and thats end all communication with my mom.

I cant believe it took me this long to realise how wicked she is. Because it was my mother who clothed me, put food on the table, and raised me, those things she did casted a halo affect on me where I wouldnt dare see her in a negative light. Her authoritative figure and being raised to have respect for mom and dad blinded me from seeing how much of a pos she really is.

Now that i made this decision to cut her out of my life, im more angrier than ever, more so at myself for not doing it sooner. Im having flash backs of all our arguments, the shame and guilt she placed on me and im so pissed off at myself for not doing this sooner.

I remember one time she was supposed to go shopping with her in laws and she was on the phone with them. She was telling them how great they are and how she needed them to teach her this and that and how she could learn from them.

When she got off the phone with them, i shit you not, she literally said "that woman is so dumb" and went on to say why shes dumb. Then i said, "why would you say something like that after the good things you told them on the phone?"
"Oh you dont do anything, youre lazy, you sleep all day, you dont pay any bills, just go live with them then stupid!"

I was 15 at the time.

I also remember telling her sister how great her daughter is and seconds when they left our house, she literally said "her daughter is going to be a whore just like her."

I said, thats a mean thing to say after you said all those nice things to their face.

"Oh youre perfect! You can do no wrong. Which is why youre dumb and stupid!"

I shit you not, worse things came out of her mouth which makes those things seem nice. Its like as if demons from hell are speaking some of the most vile, evil, wicked thing.

Im over being mad at her because thats who she is and she cant change. Im pissed off at myself for not seeing her as a pos sooner.

Its so sad cause when I got close to some ppl i would sneak ask them about their moms behavior to see if their mothers acted like mine just to try to prove to myself that my mom wasnt crazy. I kept making excuses for my mom.

No more.

I told my brother, only talk to me about her when shes dying. Other than that, I dont care because if you look at the content that comes out of her mouth, its 95 percent trashing others and 5 percent talking about how great she is.

I dont care that she paid for my health insurance as a kid, worked to pay bills, put food on the table, blah blah blah, i dont care if the family turns on me and sees that im a pos son. If i told them what she said about them they would never forgive her.

Im just going to take the high road and leave and whatever rumors are said about me and whoever believes it, I dont care.

At 40 years old, I finally have the guts to do it and thats end all communication with my mom.

I cant believe it took me this long to realise how wicked she is. Because it was my mother who clothed me, put food on the table, and raised me, those things she did casted a halo affect on me where I wouldnt dare see her in a negative light. Her authoritative figure and being raised to have respect for mom and dad blinded me from seeing how much of a pos she really is.

Now that i made this decision to cut her out of my life, im more angrier than ever, more so at myself for not doing it sooner. Im having flash backs of all our arguments, the shame and guilt she placed on me and im so pissed off at myself for not doing this sooner.

I remember one time she was supposed to go shopping with her in laws and she was on the phone with them. She was telling them how great they are and how she needed them to teach her this and that and how she could learn from them.

When she got off the phone with them, i shit you not, she literally said "that woman is so dumb" and went on to say why shes dumb. Then i said, "why would you say something like that after the good things you told them on the phone?"
"Oh you dont do anything, youre lazy, you sleep all day, you dont pay any bills, just go live with them then stupid!"

I was 15 at the time.

I also remember telling her sister how great her daughter is and seconds when they left our house, she literally said "her daughter is going to be a whore just like her."

I said, thats a mean thing to say after you said all those nice things to their face.

"Oh youre perfect! You can do no wrong. Which is why youre dumb and stupid!"

I shit you not, worse things came out of her mouth which makes those things seem nice. Its like as if demons from hell are speaking some of the most vile, evil, wicked thing.

Im over being mad at her because thats who she is and she cant change. Im pissed off at myself for not seeing her as a pos sooner.

Its so sad cause when I got close to some ppl i would sneak ask them about their moms behavior to see if their mothers acted like mine just to try to prove to myself that my mom wasnt crazy. I kept making excuses for my mom.

No more.

I told my brother, only talk to me about her when shes dying. Other than that, I dont care because if you look at the content that comes out of her mouth, its 95 percent trashing others and 5 percent talking about how great she is.

I dont care that she paid for my health insurance as a kid, worked to pay bills, put food on the table, blah blah blah, i dont care if the family turns on me and sees that im a pos son. If i told them what she said about them they would never forgive her.

Im just going to take the high road and leave and whatever rumors are said about me and whoever believes it, I dont care.

I'm so tired of people expecting their parents to be perfect.

Posting childish complaints about your mom at 40 years old?

Grow a pair and get over it. She doesn't have any power over you now, other than you let her live in your head.

Forgive her, move forward.
If you disown her, you get to keep all that built up hatred.

I had to stop conversing with my mother after my father had died. They were divorced, yet she had expected to inherit everything he had after he died. NOT! She thought he had forgotten to change his will after their divorce. When she found out he had, and cut her off from anything, she went ballistic. She then got hostile and vulgar with me, as an executive of my father's estate, when she suggested I just give her everything she wanted of his. LOL, but sad. I didn't even go see her in the hospital just before she died. I didn't want to be berated again.