My mom is a fucking narcissist

Me too. I know just how you feel. Reading these stories makes me grateful for her being just the way she was.
Good luck.

some people, whether they have children or not, are better off gone.

Yes, I believe that to be so.

It’s a horrible journey towards that realisation though… because for a long time, you blame yourself.

And as another commenter noted, this sets you up for abusive relationships going forward- as it feels familiar.

It’s only as my mother’s behaviour became increasingly outrageous, that I finally snapped out of it. But it caused me so much heartache, thinking ’even my own mother rejects me’…

Most recently, I had heart issues- not vaxxed but I was working with the public and who knows about spike-protein transmission etc. Whatever the case, I had heart issues and my doctor was very concerned. I told my mother- who responded that ‘well… you did used to smoke’

And that was that. No follow up call, no text- no concern whatsoever. This, after I’d used my holiday-time from work to travel down to look after her for a week when she broke her ankle.

My daughter just had spinal surgery for scoliosis- not a call, not a text.

So yes, I’m certainly realising the situation now.

lol who gives a fuck

fuck em

Oh, indeed! Character assassination by mob. They want/need to destroy truth and fact to keep their false persona and false identities propped up, but they cannot, so they attempt to destroy the truth-teller. They are also driven by revenge obsession...revenge for nothing but their own fatasy narratives. These are invariable traits of both NPD and BPD.

The behavior is so prevalent, it's called mobbing and is illegal in several countries and carries penalties.

My malignant NPD brother (and his BPD wife) hides his evil behind Christ's cloak for credibility. Most of the people in the community would never believe the evil acts committed by my charming, "Christian" brother.

Yep, completely concur, AC. For you youngsters, run as soon as you are able. Run hard and as fast as your feet will carry you and don't ever look back.
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I am so, so sorry you've had this life experience.

My story with my father is similar. He is a "fragile" narcissist. A child stuck in an adult body, and I was his benefactor and closest 'friend' for a couple decades, but when a new shiny (untreated BPD predator) toy came along to give him attention and play on his pathology, I was shoved aside like yesterday's garbage. I simply no longer exist except to abuse whenever doing so satisfied his new 'friend'. This rejection occurred when my father was in his 80s and me in my 50s. They even attempted to steal family property and assets, which included my residence. I had to sue my own father.

Realizing a parent does not, cannot love or be emotionally connected to a child is not only wholly unnatural, it's one of the most difficult things I've had to face, and, like many, I've experienced a lot.

So, I do understand a little of your pain and challenges, and I am so sorry you've had this in your life. No child should ever have to experience a "parent" incapable of love.

"Incapable" is the accurate word. They are incapable of emotional attachment to you or anyone. Development was arrested before they reached this critical stage. It's not you, it's their pathology, and service to that pathology always comes first. It's the way their brains are physically wired. So, please do not harbor any 'why am I not enough?' baggage. It's not yours to carry.

I wish you the best on your journey!

- TXP NLI

_

Thankyou so much for your kind words… isn’t it something, when strangers on the internet can convey more understanding and compassion than your own family members!

Borderlines and narcs do seem to be attracted to each other- as seems to be your experience. And they will invent any narrative necessary to justify their appalling behaviour- I’m also so sorry that you’ve had to experience such disappointment in those you thought that you could trust.

I agree- they’re incapable. They are damaged. They are wired-up differently.

There has been a lot of dysfunction in my family through the generations- despite the outward appearances- but hopefully… we have learned and experienced enough to try not to carry that dysfunction forward. I know that it has alerted me to my own ‘triggers’ and really made me hold myself accountable.

Whilst we can make excuses that they were damaged and it’s a trauma response- somehow we can choose not to repeat that toxic behaviour… so actually, how much empathy is deserved?

Thankyou for reaching out and your thoughtful comments on this thread x

Forgive them, for they know not (in full) what they do. They're sick, as another way to look at it, and need healing.

It's like some type of sand-paper brittled down their CARES. Cremation of cares' anyone? They be like dead inside. Show them what live is about. Not youtube live.

And Cluster 9 generally. Pretty mean spirited stuff. So go ahead cause I'm going to post.

Only God the Most High One, can change their stoney hearts into fertile ones that can translate His word. But otherwise nobody else can do it but creator. He can do all things, so don't let others tell you they cannot change without a doubt. Just let it go and live love.

*let the anger go

I wish I knew how.

Married two narcs and now my young adult son is showing the signs, breaks my heart.

I’m weary.

Mine too . She is nearly ninety and not long for this world .
She is completely consumed with guilt about her behaviour when she was raising us . Yes she drove our father and several other men away during this time .
Can't even mention the past or she literally screams and covers her ears .
I cannot imagine the torment she is in but its all her own doing .
I have forgiven her mentally and to her face but this only increased her torment .
She is hate incarnate .

Guys I love my mom. We get along now. Please pray for my entire family if you want. I won't be revisiting this thread or the past.

I'm sorry.

They say, don't ask for it to get easier...but ask that you get stronger...ask God. Ask God about softening whoevers heart that they be taken out of the snare of the devil and given a soft heart so that they may be able to see what is Gods will, so that they may be able to do it. Also I'd ask God for better understanding and strength for whatever may be next. In Jesus Name, I'll pray it too and be thankful.

That’s a very sweet message, thank you.

I was thinking this today, my son just out of left field said some really harsh things, unprovoked, he’s been doing it lately often, this is new behavior, but its like demon energy, seriously.

I feel like demons get into people and make them attack us, I just never expected my wonderful son to be a toxic masculine.

I will pray in my own way whatever that is that this is not genetic legacy from his father.

You win. Can't top that.

Sociopaths and narcissists are not born that way. It comes from poor parenting so all you in here pointing fingers at your children should look at yourself. It can stem from too much or too little love.