GLP - Continue The Story

The ancient one, Rose8, and NoMoreMsNiceGirl had joined them on their treacherous journey. Rose8, who had remained silent so far, spoke at once, "Listen to me" she authoritatively said. The 3 of them turned to her to hear her council.
She continued, "Before we have to deal with these giants, do any of you have any relationship issues you would like to ask me about?"
Chip scowled, Trinity maniacally burst into laughter, relieving the intense fear that was previously crawling up his spine, and NoMoreMsNiceGirl smiled and said "As a matter of fact Rose8, my man and I have been having an ongoing battle as to wether the toilet seat should remain up or down after use."
Rose8, keeping a serious face (her being an ancient wise one), yet thought to herself silently " sigh, how many times am I going to be asked to resolve this same issue?".

As all this was going on , Lady Jane Smith posed eloquently in the corner and sighs , “I m hot ,soooo smokin hot, that is all that matters”.

Last Edited by MKChicknDad on 08/09/2018 04:29 PM

With a sideways glance at Lady Jane Smith, NoMoreMsNiceGirl reached into her pocket and produced a cute little gray mouse.

"Look at how cute this little guy is," she said to Trinity who shrugged it off due to the pressing matter of the giants before them.

Just then Brief dropped out of a tree with a hatchet and chopped NoMoreMsNiceGirl's mouse to pieces.

Brief had a sadistic twinkle in his eyes when he asked, "Do you have another one?"

There's a knock on the door.. Tap, Tap, Tap.. trin heads to the door, opens it gingerly, stood there, grinning, hands stretched is CLOCK BOY AHMED

Rose8 wrinkled her nose in deep distaste, a deep furrow between her brows noted her displeasure at Brief.

"For f*cks sake! Do you NOT see what's out there over the ridge?!" she whispered fiercely.

Brief looked and crouched down suddenly, "this is worse than any earthquake. Where are we going?!"

"You're not coming with us, you'll get us killed," Trinity said.

The giants were heading East, toward a decently smallish town.

"I'm calling Janey since you all are busy killing mice and can't be serious," Rose8 said, but when she plucked her newly charged phone from her pocket, she saw that it was dead. She puzzled.

"Hey...gimme your phone Trin," and Trinity looked at his phone before handing it over to make sure no questionable text messages were showing on the screen beforehand. However, his phone was also blank. Everyone then checked, to see that they're phones were dead as well. Even Clockboy who had just entered the scene saw his was dead.

In sync, they all looked at each other and said in a hushed whisper, "EMP..."

Last Edited by Rose8 on 08/09/2018 04:42 PM

That EMP SHOULD TAKE DOEN THE FATMAN WITH BULLHORN ONCE AND FOR ALL!

Last Edited by HAWK-03 on 08/09/2018 04:43 PM

Rose sees Hawk-02 as he approaches with his input.

"You're right...but it also renders EVERYONE vulnerable....to....THEM..." she said, nodding her head toward the feral looking warriors heading toward the sunrise horizon.

Dr. Deplorable Astromut, who was quietly gazing at the sky the entire time suddenly began sparking from his goggles. Mechanical grinding and the smell of burning electronics filled the air.

"Uhh, Trin?" Asked Rose8. "Something's wrong with Astro. I thought you EMP-proofed your science tardbot after the great AC purge of 722."

"He'll be fine. This happens everytime he debunks a flat earther." Trinity said.

"He's debunking flat earthers right now?" She asked. "At at time like this?"

Chip, annoyed, said, "Get your cranium out of your ass crack you little punk and stop arguing with the mods."

"SHHH!" Brief whispered. "There's another mouse."

Zakk peered through the rifle scope as his eyes struggled to adjust. His hands moved in a flurry of activity adjusting the windage and elevation turrets.

He whispered to his spotter Hawk-02, "Confirm, 685 yards to the group of face touchers on the left... 750 yards to the Freemasons on the right. Will fire when the audio fails."

"Ah, yeah sounds good man. 685 and 750... and er, I think the audio just fa..."

The crack of the first round caught Hawk off guard as he rushed to cover his ears. The muzzle blast of the .50 BMG rounds blew the ciggarette out of his mouth as he rolled to the other side of the foxhole for cover.

Downrange, in a manner of seconds the heads of 10 giants were reduced to a fine red mist. As he looked up from the empty gun over to Hawk, he calmly proclaimed...

"Verified"

Suddenly Zakk appeared from the back of a white van across the river. He ran up to the group and shouted; Did you see that face touching giant?
Verify?
That’s why they kill all of the giants..

Zakk paused and thought how eerily similar this situation was to last Saturday night's Space War and momentarily considered bringing in the tomato plants.

Last Edited by James T Bond on 08/09/2018 06:46 PM

Suddenly Zakk's phone went off, it was a new posting up on the forum from Oracle's Cookie. She FOUND the secret to getting out of this very sticky wicket.

Then Zakk's phone went off again and it was SG in BT posting some confirmations on the recent Space War.

**and this thread right here is why I love all y'all people! Thx Rose8....someone should compile the final for some kind of GLP fundraiser as a book!

Last Edited by Deplorable Zenobia on 08/09/2018 06:57 PM

Now assembled deep in the main bunker, Trinity and his mods gathered around a long oak table.

"How is this possible? I thought we were done with troll raids after banning the ACs???" he belted out slamming his fist on the table."

Jazzy stood up and walked over to Trinity, placing a manila envelope labeled "TOP SECRET" in front of him. "This is something else. Janey managed to transmit these images just before we lost contact with her last night".

He opened the envelope and stared at it's contents intensely. "It can't be. It just can't be... there was a purge." Trinity protested as his hand began to tremble.

Jazzy placed her hand on his shoulder. "It is, boss. He's back. He's behind all of this."

"For fuck's sake, who is it already enough with the suspense!!!" Lady Jane blurted out.

Jazzy walked to the door picking her rifle up from the rack as she passed. As she walked out, she turned to Lady Jane.

"The Comedy Man"

Meanwhile down in the distant valley you could see that the interstate was a graveyard of cars and trucks. A mass of people (like a swarm of bewildered bees) were heading up the mountain. Led by a man in an old Willy's Jeep that was still running. He held a bullhorn and was laden with armour, a fat cigar perched in his mouth. bellowing volumous tones"We are the army of the mechanic and I am the Mechanic"

Chip made his way to the engineering shop to check on the status of the firewall repairs. The sound of automatic gunfire echoed in the distance.

"How goes it, Doctor" he said as he pulled up Astro's face shield mid-weld.

"Goddamnit Chip, now I have to re-do that whole pass" he screamed as he threw the electrode to the ground.

"Calm down man, I'm sure you'll get it right next time" Chip said as he walked around inspecting the scene.

A now fully clothed Wordsworth sprinted in from a back room, sporting an armload of electrical components with a rat's nest of dangling wires. "The capacitors are almost back online Chip, just need a bit more time" he stuttered as he fumbled and dropped several of the items.

Chip helped Wordsworth pick up the scattered electronics, then paced over and peered out the window. "Time is the one thing we don't have Wordsworth."

Fap, sleep, rave, repeat... get RED Karma

:bgfjhj:

Randomly, some member of GLP who was an actual alien posing as a human went to see a Gardner named Doctrimi Aspromoff.

The alien introduced himself and then...He says Doc, I've been sent to this world as a diplomat. I am an alien posing as a human. But no one takes me seriously. I feel so challenged by this task and there are few others of my kind and most of them are all crazy even by my standards. I first became a diplomat hoping to try to make peace. But my leader doesn't care about any of that. I don't even feel like I fit with my own species and certainly no human would understand. The aliens in charge, boy... they just want me to do more abductions and anal probing and to gather data. I'm really troubled. I haven't seen my child and he's become the thing that I hate. My wife left me and moved out to the farthest galaxy away. And my eldest son was killed in the Great Space War between an alien race that looks like a combination between a midget version of Stanley Kubrick and the strange political creature named Vallery Jerret as seen through the eyes of Roseanne Barr who has recently been infiltrated by the shapeshifting species that also live on our planet as our political adversaries.

I can't contact home and I'm here for 20 years. Honestly, it feels like a hopeless prison sentence, Doc.The only place I feel at home is on GLP because it reminds me of a website not unlike the one at home called PlanetaryLikeInvasion.Borg/Probe. It breaks my heart that I have to probe but the corporate shills I work for are just that way.

The corporate shills I work for only want me to investigate all of their tools of this planet as well as weapons and also abduct all of the leaders of the world. I'm really troubled.
And Doctrimi Aspromoff replies But I'm not a real Doc, you sound like you need a psychologist, why on earth did you come to see me?

The alien says... oh, I hate to ask but again, the corporate shills insist I demand this, so I must....
After mustering up the courage, the alien's face transformed into someone more fierce. He gathered up his inner contempt the alien looked with an glare as if to put daggers in the heart of Doctrimi Aspromoff.... ohhh if looks could kill, this look certainly would and as this alien transformed and shifted away from his human form into the most intimidating creature you have ever seen, the alien fiercely demanded with just 5 words.... these very important 5 words that were the secret to his mission...

take me to your weeder. he demanded.

The Comedy Man sat upon his impromptu throne made of skulls and empty whiskey bottles. As he drew a fresh cigar from his pocket one of his hapless moran minions raced into the room.

"Sir, I have urgent news you ne..." his proclamation was interrupted by a .45 ACP round which landed right between his eyes. He slumped to the ground dead.

After a moment of silence, the Comedy Man calls out. "Does anyone who knows how to knock know what this asshole was about to tell me???"

A faint knocking sounded at the edge of the door.

"Come in!" The Comedy Man taunted.

A cowering moran slinked into the room. "Sir, we have a defector whom wishes to provide information that could turn the tide of the war!!!"

"Well, fucking send him in." The minion hurriedly left the room and returned with an odd looking man.

"What the fuck is this?" The Comedy man barked.

"This is eraser-head, my lord. He claims to know a secret passage that can lead us to Trinity's underground bunker. It's just past the west out..." A shot rang out and the minion slumped to the floor.

"Sorry man I hate to be a dick, but it's fucking who not whom. That was really bothering me this whole time." The Comedy Man joked as he holstered his weapon. "So, mister eraser-fag. Tell me about this passage."

Well Mr. Comedy Man, once a year, this secret passage fills wall to wall with A-1 sauce.

Alpacalips burst into the room shouting "CAPTAIN SHE'S GUNNA BLOW!"

The Comedy Man stared at the defector in front of him. He was bloodied and bruised, dressed in rags. "So how the hell does this A-1 shit help me get into Trinity's bunker?"

"The yearly flood happens tonight, and only tonight. If you can get your minions into the swell, when it recedes it will sweep them right past the defenses and into Trinity's lair. If you give me safe passage to the outerlands I can show you h..." a shot rings out and eraser-head falls to the floor.

"Thanks pal, I think I got it from here" The Comedy Man proclaims as he lets out a hysterical laugh.

Then Comedy Man sat back, cracked open another cold one while trying to relight his stogie and started thinking about the lil' birdie (literally, a carrier pigeon) w/ a note informing him of the masses being led by the Mechanic.

Hmmm, he would have to figure out a strategy.

Turning to Alpacalips to yell a directive only to find they'd slipped out of the room lickety-split.

In a fit of instant rage, CM took aim w/ his pistol and blew up the tv.

Trinity, Chip, Jazzy and Lady Jane stood at the entrance to the escape tunnel. A platoon of elite Fandango Rangers stood behind them, armed to the teeth.

"This better work" Trinity let out with a sigh.

Jazzy leaned into his ear. "It will boss"

Trinity motioned to Lady Jane. "Are the tomato plants all in?"

"Yes sir" she replied, racking the charging handle of her rifle.

"Good. Then I guess all there is to do is wait" he said as he took a sip from his flask.

As the four stood silently in front of the blast door, the smell of A-1 sauce filled the room.

Chip flipped the safety off his rifle. "It has begined"

Astro gazed over the tangled mess of wires and transformers that were the last hope of GLP. He pondered to himself if there was any chance it would work once the switch was thrown. After the damage done by the EMP, there was no way to know if any of these electronics were still even functional.

He leaned into the radio. "Zenobia, are the electrodes in place yet???"

A flightly voice crackled through the speaker "Yes sir Doctor, all 33 of them are placed just like you told me"

"Good, good. Stay on point we may need you to adjust if the calculations were wrong". As he laid down the mic, he leered at Wordsworth. "The calculations are right, aren't they Words?"

"Yes sir Astro, double and triple checked" He exclaimed as he pushed up his glasses.

"You better goddmaned hope so Words, because otherwise it's the end of GLP as we know it. Stay frosty none the less, if this goes south we're gonna have to get out of here in a hurry" he said as he checked the magazine in his pistol.

"And go where, man?" Wordsworth replied as he stuffed ammo boxes in his pack.

Lady Jane looked over at Jazzy from behind the rock where she had taken cover. "Sure is quiet in here. The calm before the storm I guess."

Jazzy leveled her rifle at the rising tide of A-1 Sauce. "Too quiet, if you ask me."

Just then, bubbles began rising from the sea of steak sauce. First one, then two, then a dozen hapless morans rose from the worsteshire based lake. A hundred more soon followed.

"NOW!!!!" Trinity shouted, as gunfire instantly erupted around him.