My wife of 29yrs just hit me today at dinner time that she wants a divorce!! I'm very sad | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 58445851 United States 05/25/2014 11:24 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | If you could treat her bi-polar, that might fix the relationship. Just a suggestion, check this and read the reviews as well [link to amazon.com] |
ScrumpTheTexan
Forum Administrator User ID: 45497937 United States 05/25/2014 11:24 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Good bro... thanks for asking! It's good to see that your spirit is still high apparently... that attitude will help greatly. I've been through divorce myself... and oh man, it sucked. Just hoping that it will not be messy!! I hope so too man. I am a Christian. Christian does not equal doormat or pushover "I Have Sworn upon the Altar of God... Eternal Hostility against every form of Tyranny over the mind of man." -Thomas Jefferson, Sep. 23, 1800 The Election of Donald John Trump: [link to www.godlikeproductions.com] For previous Newsletters, click 'Scrump's News Letters' @ [link to www.godlikeproductions.com] |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 46317298 United States 05/25/2014 11:25 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | So sorry for your grief OP, but if you were doing ok those 6 months without her, just remember that you will be just fine without her again. Try to be friends for your kids' sake. No reason to make a war. Man up and don't let sadness overwhelm the happiness life can still bring to you. Focus on your own life and on your children and on helping their mother move on. You both are probably too accustomed to chaos and forgotten what normal feels like. Opt for a future of peace. Choosing serenity and peace of mind is a new choice that only you can make, everyday of your life. Good luck my dear. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 55768894 United States 05/25/2014 11:26 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 2341219 Canada 05/25/2014 11:27 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | That's a dumb thing to say, somebody that's married that long doesn't have that at the top of their priority list. Companionship and a loving partner that really cares is #1. Sex is a physical act to us to express that love at our age. It's different then horny young on's do. LOL |
Guitarguy55
(OP) User ID: 57064084 United States 05/25/2014 11:28 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
oh_yikes
User ID: 51515778 United States 05/25/2014 11:30 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | This thread just tugged at my heart. I am so sorry OP. It sounds like you are a very decent man. There is nothing anyone can say to take away the pain, but if she has problems with depression, it seems as if she would not be happy no matter who she was married to, so don't take it as a personal failing. I hope you can cherish the good memories that you shared in those 29 years, and not dwell upon the bad times. I think the advice that you were given to move on quickly and try to craft some sort of fulfilling life without her is good advice. But you are allowed to wallow for a while in the beginning. I am so sorry. The pain of heartache and loss can be excruciating. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 2341219 Canada 05/25/2014 11:30 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Guitarguy55
(OP) User ID: 57064084 United States 05/25/2014 11:31 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | So sorry for your grief OP, but if you were doing ok those 6 months without her, just remember that you will be just fine without her again. Try to be friends for your kids' sake. No reason to make a war. Man up and don't let sadness overwhelm the happiness life can still bring to you. Focus on your own life and on your children and on helping their mother move on. You both are probably too accustomed to chaos and forgotten what normal feels like. Opt for a future of peace. Choosing serenity and peace of mind is a new choice that only you can make, everyday of your life. Good luck my dear. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 46317298 I told her that on the phone that there is no reason to sit and point fingers at or scream at each other at least for the kids sake Guitarguy55 The Breaker of many a G-String! |
Guitarguy55
(OP) User ID: 57064084 United States 05/25/2014 11:31 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Nikola Tesla
User ID: 55714405 United States 05/25/2014 11:32 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My wife of 29yrs tells me this evening that she wants a divorce!. We have had our problems over the years. My son and I just moved back from Ga. a month ago after things didn't really work out down south. Yes I have posted that she is a bi-polar depressive but I really thought we could fix things after all we have 4 children 3 grown one in jr high and we have alot of history but it is not to be. I'll be spending Memorial Day alone. I wasn't invited to their festivities!! Quoting: Guitarguy55 Right now my mind is just wrapped in sadness. I am only talking here because I have no one else but my friends here to talk to. I'm not looking for sympathy just venting and I really don't want smart ass comments I just needed to vent a little. Thanks for letting me vent Guitarguy55 Oh well, sorry to hear that. Con chó quái! "One person with courage is a majority." - Thomas Jefferson "You’ve heard that we are what we eat. But we also are what we think". “Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views." -William F. Buckley Jr. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 46317298 United States 05/25/2014 11:33 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | So sorry for your grief OP, but if you were doing ok those 6 months without her, just remember that you will be just fine without her again. Try to be friends for your kids' sake. No reason to make a war. Man up and don't let sadness overwhelm the happiness life can still bring to you. Focus on your own life and on your children and on helping their mother move on. You both are probably too accustomed to chaos and forgotten what normal feels like. Opt for a future of peace. Choosing serenity and peace of mind is a new choice that only you can make, everyday of your life. Good luck my dear. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 46317298 I told her that on the phone that there is no reason to sit and point fingers at or scream at each other at least for the kids sake Good for you! You can never be sorry when you take the high road. It's also a great tactical advantage. :) |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1550123 United States 05/25/2014 11:34 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I'm sorry OP, that's rough, hope you guys can work things out, that's a long history you have and your FAMILY! :( Quoting: >>Kate<< Sorry Kate it is beyond the point of repair! She wont even consider counseling. So I'll give her what she wants I'm just too physically unable to fight anymore!! If she was an emotional/mental mess like you said then you are most likely better off without her. You will get your energy back now and will feel better physically. You just might want to get counseling for yourself to heal and to never attract another woman that has such issues into your life again. Congrats on a new beginning. It will get better. |
southernwench User ID: 56638710 United States 05/25/2014 11:45 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
SilentlyKnowing
User ID: 57786995 United States 05/26/2014 12:01 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Trying to help my son in commercial fishing but was physically not up to that challenge!! Was she with you there? No but we were only gone 6mos! Just thinking about your saying you were gone for 6 months. You know many bi-polar and boarderline disorders have at their foundation a phobia about being abandoned. Abandonment for these folks can be really devastating--even if there were a verbal agreement that you were only leaving to go to work with your son. You left. All the emotional storms that a bi-polar would have from your being gone would have crashed in on her. Someone who has never been through this can't know the crushing fear of having these emotions triggered. Not saying that it was even deliberate on your part--just describing what I know of that kind of reaction (Sister was bi-polar and borderline Disorder...if her "issues" were triggered there was no reasoning with her... it comes from the instinct part of the brain where the person feels threat. One book called: "I HATE you...don't leave me!" really tells their story. Anyways...you have had a long long history with this and maybe the Good Lord is giving you both a chance to heal now. I had a great deal of comfort from the books from Eckhart Tolle (one is called "The Power of Now") when I went through my own divorce of 17 years. There should be different words in the English language for loving and losing a partner in these situations. It can be truly crushing. Tolle has videos where he addresses things like this and It was a gift to me to find his philosophy (NOT religion or occult--just plain talk.) Best wishes with you recovery. There really is a life after this--it just doesn't feel that way right now. [link to www.youtube.com] Also a site that has 151 of Tolle's videos....I'm still watching! [link to www.youtube.com] My heart is with you. SK Last Edited by SilentlyKnowing on 05/26/2014 12:27 AM |
Burned Bernie User ID: 51943260 United States 05/26/2014 12:03 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Got burned on the girlfriend of the last five years too. She took and took and took. I finally left because I could not give any more. Women be crazy dude. That's life. You play the game and you get burned. Sorry for your loss, dude, but get over it. We all lose, just in different ways. That's how it is. Time for a beer. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 46975225 United States 05/26/2014 12:05 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 58492871 United States 05/26/2014 12:06 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 46279401 United States 05/26/2014 12:06 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 50270858 United States 05/26/2014 12:09 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | U didn't lose anything yet, man up. Decide if u really want this to work. If u do go get her like your teens and you just met each other. Surround her in flower's go all out like nothing else matters but her fuck the bills just her u decide |
Bambi2U
User ID: 58214330 United States 05/26/2014 12:14 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Really sorry hun. I am sure you are feeling a sense of loss among a million other emotions. If you ever need someone to talk to HMU "We are locked in a battle. This is not a friendly, gentleman's discussion. It is a life and death conflict between the spiritual hosts of wickedness and those who claim the name of Jesus Christ." "The Saints are Sinners that keep on trying" |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 58487083 United States 05/26/2014 12:14 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Brother the VERY BEST to deal with this RIGHT NOW is for you to make a phone call and have a 60 min of talk with a Psycotherapy and express your issues first do it by email they will understand. I am not sure if you can both go at the same time but It's you now that needs to have a strong head. And I can see it's going to affect you If you don't have a talk with a proffesional, trust me bro. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 43203482 United States 05/26/2014 12:26 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 2341219 Canada 05/26/2014 12:31 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 47390007 United States 05/26/2014 12:39 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 58494972 United States 05/26/2014 12:44 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My wife of 29yrs tells me this evening that she wants a divorce!. We have had our problems over the years. My son and I just moved back from Ga. a month ago after things didn't really work out down south. Yes I have posted that she is a bi-polar depressive but I really thought we could fix things after all we have 4 children 3 grown one in jr high and we have alot of history but it is not to be. I'll be spending Memorial Day alone. I wasn't invited to their festivities!! Quoting: Guitarguy55 Right now my mind is just wrapped in sadness. I am only talking here because I have no one else but my friends here to talk to. I'm not looking for sympathy just venting and I really don't want smart ass comments I just needed to vent a little. Thanks for letting me vent Guitarguy55 You both have my prayers.....it is a sad time. I have heard so many sad break up stories about long term loves. It seems a shame to invest that much time and call it quits because it is no longer all fun and games. My wife whom I have nursed through the last 8 years of health hell has twice in the last year nearly called it quits I have no idea why really?!? Most men would have taken off after she became ill and was unable to have any sex for over 2 years. I do not regret what I have done for a moment, it is just that the present day state of marriages and relationships make me sad and hopeless for our kids future |
Chas
User ID: 58331827 United States 05/26/2014 12:47 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Never easy especially after all that time...best of luck to you...as always...every cloud...you know the rest...Try and look what you have to be thankful for and try to find some purpose and some good...Blessings Chas |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 56570603 United States 05/26/2014 12:47 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I'm sorry OP, that's rough, hope you guys can work things out, that's a long history you have and your FAMILY! :( Quoting: >>Kate<< Sorry Kate it is beyond the point of repair! She wont even consider counseling. So I'll give her what she wants I'm just too physically unable to fight anymore!! I totally know how you feel. Only in my situation im the one who is leaving. My husband is bi polar and has become abusive . I have no choice but to walk away becuz he wont try either. Anyway... I feel your pain. Sorry for your loss but its got to get better than this. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 56387136 United States 05/26/2014 12:51 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 44493293 United States 05/26/2014 01:03 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My wife of 29yrs tells me this evening that she wants a divorce!. We have had our problems over the years. My son and I just moved back from Ga. a month ago after things didn't really work out down south. Yes I have posted that she is a bi-polar depressive but I really thought we could fix things after all we have 4 children 3 grown one in jr high and we have alot of history but it is not to be. I'll be spending Memorial Day alone. I wasn't invited to their festivities!! Quoting: Guitarguy55 Right now my mind is just wrapped in sadness. I am only talking here because I have no one else but my friends here to talk to. I'm not looking for sympathy just venting and I really don't want smart ass comments I just needed to vent a little. Thanks for letting me vent Guitarguy55 some people may seem bi polar depressive..but its just that they are with a person who is wrong for them,a person who brings out the worst,instead of the best.... |