George Noory

Jorch after reading the news story about the toxic Round Up ingredient being found in 26 of 28 breakfast cereals....

"Just be careful, everyone."


Wow! GREAT advice, Jorch. You're the modern-day Confucius!

Profound. Deep. Probing. No wait, that's Jorch's tongue in Tahmmy's taint.

Jorch dresses up as Cesar Sayoc for Halloween. A guy recognizes his costume and says to Jorch in recognition, “Cesar Sayoc!”

Jorch responds, “Ok, but don’t squeeze too hard.”

Jorch went to tanning college with Robert Goulet and George Hamilton.

George thinks Operation Barbarossa is that electric game where you try to remove the guy's funny bone without lighting up his nose....

George sits down in the barber’s chair and immediately blurts out, “Make me look like Geert Wilders.”

George has insulted this second guest several times already. And made all Americans out to be absolute idiots with his ignorant statements regarding New Zealand.

One of George’s first questions: “What are you doing out in New Zealand?”

The guest paused, then laughed, and said something like, “Why? Aren’t there allowed to be people living in New Zealand?”

George blurred out, “You’re a suburb of Australia.”

Gawd, that absolute fucking idiot. I can’t believe someone so stupid is employed in the job he’s in. Thankfully for George, he has a great staff who writes out all the decent questions on 3x5 index cards for him before the show.

The next exchange between George and the guest will go something like this...

GUEST: “Have you been to New Zealand?”

GEORGE: “No, but I saw it on a map once.”

Jorch plays Whack-a-Mole with Big Tahhmmeeee Dudeholster's haemorrhoids....

TAHMMY: “George, can I interest you in my hot dog?”

GEORGE: “Not right now. It’ll go straight (in)to my thighs.”

They would have been on the market sooner.

But Jorch rectum....

Every time Knapp visits Pahrump he blasts out of the desert like a shit Scirocco .

George and Tahmmee made a foray into the world of online porn by filming then leaking a sex tape to Gawker.

Entitled, Two Turds, One Mike, it was a disasterous melange of out of focus flab, and saggy skin. Critics ripped the film as a pink deflating weather balloon of sad aging gayness, still others said the only hard thing was the mike.

George is hoping his next effort, a supposedly secretly filmed trust with Tahmmee, where George refers to Linda Moulton Howe as "that N word", will bring him some much needed media attention.

Blooom's nose has CVN-65 in big block letters painted on the side .

WE'RE DOING A MF SHOW ON FLU EPIDEMIC AND THIS SCHEISSEKOPF IS ASKING ABOUT NERVE AGENTS. I CAN'T TAKE IT NO MORE. I'M ABOUT TO SELF IMMOLATE WITH A FLAMENWERFER.

Ian "The Squeakin' Deacon" Punnett sounds like a giggling schoolgirl at the drive-in, face down on the semen-stained back seat of a 1958 De Soto Firedome, about to get her spark plugs gapped for the first time....

Jorch has a colonoscopy once a week. Never from a doctor.

was he on again tonight I thought I heard his voice? Nooopy stepped in Puma Poopoo at PumaPunku

Clouds coming in tonight over the Sherman Oaks I Heart Radio studios. Winds are kicking up and temperatures dropping. Looks like they might get a few inches there tonight.

And now for the weather...

Jorch has spent his life looking for a warm front.

He's fondled a lot of cold rears while he's waiting....

William Hurt

But Jorch begged for more....

Dannon 2 in the stinkly

It's time for the weekly portion of the thread for Face-Off, an analysis of Norry's changing face.

Norry know has two eyes that match. Keep going Norry and you will make Michael Jackson look like a normal person. You can change a face, but you cannot change a soul.

It was more distinctive before the eye work. Really. Not pleased, and it does not meet the focus group approval. Maybe you could have it readjusted back? Cali plastic workers can do wonders.

Art streaked through Red Square at high noon wearing nothing but a fire engine red thong with the bright yellow hammer & sickle displayed prominently on the cock cage.

Art approaches the border of Russia from Finland in a fur-lined parka one bitterly cold winter’s night and breaks out with a rendition of “Oh Nikita you will never know... Never know anything about my home (doublewide)...” It turns out he was serenading a male Russian border guard and Art’s immediately tasered, dragged in for questioning, then sent to the Siberian gulags where he’s sentenced to 17 years of hard labor while listening to Pussy Riot.

Art thinks the Trans-Siberian Express is a Transgender Musical Revue at Caesar's Palace.

Art emergency-landed his ultralight in Ricardo Montalban’s chest hair.

Art at Lenin’s tomb in Red Square: “Where are Ringo and George buried?”

There are no statues of Stalin in post-Soviet Russia. At least not displayed prominently anywhere. They might’ve even taken Stalin statues down before the end of the USSR. He’s not thought of fondly there. He only killed 20 to 30 million of his own people! Lol Hey, you gotta break some eggs to achieve your 20-Year Plan. What’s a Georgian gotta do to get some respect around here?!

Father McQuarters plays “The Chase” as he cruises the streets of Boys Town in his 1971 white panel van. “Just a wee peek...”

Oh no, no, no... LOL

Father Hindquarters