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I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78542193
07/06/2020 03:47 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
I applaud the OP for channeling his incel rage into creative writing.

When life gives you a lemon, make lemonade.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 78317263


When life gives you a lemon, take out your swiss army knife and carve a small hole in it and fuck it while pretending it's a hot pizza delivery girl.

yeahsure
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77786543


naw honeymelons warm one up for 83 seconds in the microwave. you figure out the rest...
 Quoting: Ozamandias


Honey melons, huh? pigchef
Anonymous Coward
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Denmark
07/06/2020 03:55 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
This is when you're supposed to take matters into your own hands OP.

That's when you grab her, fuck her on the spot and tear off the pizza delivery cloth with aggression. Girls like that.
Anonymous Coward
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07/06/2020 04:17 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
This is when you're supposed to take matters into your own hands OP.

That's when you grab her, fuck her on the spot and tear off the pizza delivery cloth with aggression. Girls like that.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 73642252


how's jail?

Edit: nevermind you're danish so jail is like what spa day?
Sentio

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07/06/2020 04:45 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
.

A young female would NEVER enter a strange man’s home.


.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
07/06/2020 04:57 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
.

A young female would NEVER enter a strange man’s home.


.
 Quoting: Sentio


She's delivering goods for a customer, plus she didn't just walk in on her own. He answered the door
Anonymous Coward
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07/06/2020 10:20 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
I think she was disgusted OP LOL

[link to www.godlikeproductions.com]
Anonymous Coward
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07/06/2020 10:25 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
I was feeling lazy and craving pizza, (meaning I did not want to cook that chicken breast tonight!)
so I ordered a medium cheese pizza, well I got in the shower as they said 45 min.... in 10
minutes they were knocking, I got out of the shower all wet and still having soap on... I hastily
put on a set of swim trunks and answered the door, I figured I at least got something on, the
hottest 18yr old ever was at the door, black hair, big gorgeous blue eyes and very small frame,
maybe an B cup... her eyes were wide, very wide!

I was like OMG! I think she digs me, so I went back in and told her to wait in the living room,
well, to make it more weird she saw the remote and turned on the tv, put on some conspiracy doc on Netflix... I
heard that as I was frantically looking for her tip, I came back and gave her a 5 dollar tip and
said "thank you, I see you like gaming", as she was looking around at my 3 arcade machines which
are in the living room, she says I love videogames!

So I say "hey those machines are open for
business, they're on free play, stop by anytime you wanna play, so she hits start and begins a game of Rage of the Dragons, then she loses one round and stops and says she has to go, I say "ok, what's your name?"

She is looking at me very surprised and wide eyed... I say, "sorry I don't mean to be pretentious", she says "Amy..L..Long"... I say "Long?" Then she says "uh.. uh, sorry I mean, Hu... l" then she cracks up and starts laughing, and then I look down at my swim trunks and half my cock has found its way out of them and there it is... my veiny jaggerslayer is resting making me turn
all sorts of red! I suddenly tell her to please leave, she composes herself and I am there thinking
she is laughing at my penis, I covered up with a couch cushion, she passes by and as she is at the door she says, "I'm sorry don't think I was laughing at you... you have an amazing body, just put clothes on baby"... I say "just go!" she says, "Seriously! You are a VERY BIG MAN!"...

Then she tells me what time she gets off work, so should I try going by there? or call her up?

I feel so embarrassed...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76907677


norespect
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79115971
07/06/2020 10:37 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
WAIT! So exactly why aren’t you ordering pizza again?
Hamburgerwagon

User ID: 69457309
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07/06/2020 10:37 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
Good story OP!

Once I had a pizza girl ask if she could use my restroom and it was an emergency. She wasnt super hot, maybe a 6 out of 10, but still cute.

I told her sure she could. She BLEW my toilet up! The stink was ungodly. I was so embarrassed for her. I know she was embarrassed to have to do that. She must have been on the verge of crapping her pants.
Deplorable NO MORE Michele B

User ID: 78603788
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07/06/2020 10:37 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
I was feeling lazy and craving pizza, (meaning I did not want to cook that chicken breast tonight!)
so I ordered a medium cheese pizza, well I got in the shower as they said 45 min.... in 10
minutes they were knocking, I got out of the shower all wet and still having soap on... I hastily
put on a set of swim trunks and answered the door, I figured I at least got something on, the
hottest 18yr old ever was at the door, black hair, big gorgeous blue eyes and very small frame,
maybe an B cup... her eyes were wide, very wide!

I was like OMG! I think she digs me, so I went back in and told her to wait in the living room,
well, to make it more weird she saw the remote and turned on the tv, put on some conspiracy doc on Netflix... I
heard that as I was frantically looking for her tip, I came back and gave her a 5 dollar tip and
said "thank you, I see you like gaming", as she was looking around at my 3 arcade machines which
are in the living room, she says I love videogames!

So I say "hey those machines are open for
business, they're on free play, stop by anytime you wanna play, so she hits start and begins a game of Rage of the Dragons, then she loses one round and stops and says she has to go, I say "ok, what's your name?"

She is looking at me very surprised and wide eyed... I say, "sorry I don't mean to be pretentious", she says "Amy..L..Long"... I say "Long?" Then she says "uh.. uh, sorry I mean, Hu... l" then she cracks up and starts laughing, and then I look down at my swim trunks and half my cock has found its way out of them and there it is... my veiny jaggerslayer is resting making me turn
all sorts of red! I suddenly tell her to please leave, she composes herself and I am there thinking
she is laughing at my penis, I covered up with a couch cushion, she passes by and as she is at the door she says, "I'm sorry don't think I was laughing at you... you have an amazing body, just put clothes on baby"... I say "just go!" she says, "Seriously! You are a VERY BIG MAN!"...

Then she tells me what time she gets off work, so should I try going by there? or call her up?

I feel so embarrassed...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76907677


Sure,’go for it!


And if you have the same dream tonight, I’m sure she’ll be there again!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78442452
Australia
07/06/2020 10:39 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
WAIT! So exactly why aren’t you ordering pizza again?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79115971


Exactly what I’m wondering as well!

I may not be a Lothario or Casanova but I think this would make me want to order pizza even more!

Am I crazy here?
Dogfood™

User ID: 30454234
United States
07/06/2020 10:41 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
Thread: just made a pan pizza in a cast iron skillet

rockon
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79024012
United States
07/06/2020 10:44 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
I was feeling lazy and craving pizza, (meaning I did not want to cook that chicken breast tonight!)
so I ordered a medium cheese pizza, well I got in the shower as they said 45 min.... in 10
minutes they were knocking, I got out of the shower all wet and still having soap on... I hastily
put on a set of swim trunks and answered the door, I figured I at least got something on, the
hottest 18yr old ever was at the door, black hair, big gorgeous blue eyes and very small frame,
maybe an B cup... her eyes were wide, very wide!

I was like OMG! I think she digs me, so I went back in and told her to wait in the living room,
well, to make it more weird she saw the remote and turned on the tv, put on some conspiracy doc on Netflix... I
heard that as I was frantically looking for her tip, I came back and gave her a 5 dollar tip and
said "thank you, I see you like gaming", as she was looking around at my 3 arcade machines which
are in the living room, she says I love videogames!

So I say "hey those machines are open for
business, they're on free play, stop by anytime you wanna play, so she hits start and begins a game of Rage of the Dragons, then she loses one round and stops and says she has to go, I say "ok, what's your name?"

She is looking at me very surprised and wide eyed... I say, "sorry I don't mean to be pretentious", she says "Amy..L..Long"... I say "Long?" Then she says "uh.. uh, sorry I mean, Hu... l" then she cracks up and starts laughing, and then I look down at my swim trunks and half my cock has found its way out of them and there it is... my veiny jaggerslayer is resting making me turn
all sorts of red! I suddenly tell her to please leave, she composes herself and I am there thinking
she is laughing at my penis, I covered up with a couch cushion, she passes by and as she is at the door she says, "I'm sorry don't think I was laughing at you... you have an amazing body, just put clothes on baby"... I say "just go!" she says, "Seriously! You are a VERY BIG MAN!"...

Then she tells me what time she gets off work, so should I try going by there? or call her up?

I feel so embarrassed...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76907677


Troll thread
Q33

User ID: 78698051
Canada
07/06/2020 10:45 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
I was feeling lazy and craving pizza, (meaning I did not want to cook that chicken breast tonight!)
so I ordered a medium cheese pizza, well I got in the shower as they said 45 min.... in 10
minutes they were knocking, I got out of the shower all wet and still having soap on... I hastily
put on a set of swim trunks and answered the door, I figured I at least got something on, the
hottest 18yr old ever was at the door, black hair, big gorgeous blue eyes and very small frame,
maybe an B cup... her eyes were wide, very wide!

I was like OMG! I think she digs me, so I went back in and told her to wait in the living room,
well, to make it more weird she saw the remote and turned on the tv, put on some conspiracy doc on Netflix... I
heard that as I was frantically looking for her tip, I came back and gave her a 5 dollar tip and
said "thank you, I see you like gaming", as she was looking around at my 3 arcade machines which
are in the living room, she says I love videogames!

So I say "hey those machines are open for
business, they're on free play, stop by anytime you wanna play, so she hits start and begins a game of Rage of the Dragons, then she loses one round and stops and says she has to go, I say "ok, what's your name?"

She is looking at me very surprised and wide eyed... I say, "sorry I don't mean to be pretentious", she says "Amy..L..Long"... I say "Long?" Then she says "uh.. uh, sorry I mean, Hu... l" then she cracks up and starts laughing, and then I look down at my swim trunks and half my cock has found its way out of them and there it is... my veiny jaggerslayer is resting making me turn
all sorts of red! I suddenly tell her to please leave, she composes herself and I am there thinking
she is laughing at my penis, I covered up with a couch cushion, she passes by and as she is at the door she says, "I'm sorry don't think I was laughing at you... you have an amazing body, just put clothes on baby"... I say "just go!" she says, "Seriously! You are a VERY BIG MAN!"...

Then she tells me what time she gets off work, so should I try going by there? or call her up?

I feel so embarrassed...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76907677


Only a fucking bitch loser cuck named macaulay culkin eats cheese only fucking pizza BITCH!
DeerHeart

User ID: 78227284
United States
07/06/2020 10:46 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
All while other people’s pizza’s were getting cold. I doubt this ACTUALLY happened but if it did, go for it man!
Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.

-Martin Luther King, Jr.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 75710022
United States
07/06/2020 10:47 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
.

A young female would NEVER enter a strange man’s home.


.
 Quoting: Sentio


She's delivering goods for a customer, plus she didn't just walk in on her own. He answered the door
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79114702


Yeah she is delivering to the home. Not going in the home to deliver. Just because he is a customer doesn't mean you can trust the customer with your life.
Pink Floyd Forever

User ID: 77974975
United Kingdom
07/06/2020 10:49 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
I used to deliver pizzas, one time a lady opened the door with no pants and underwear on, i stared at her pussy the entire time and told her it looked like a tight fit for my cock. We ended up fucking. lol
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76377772


Your mum dosen't count
a.k.a: BadMoonRising
DeerHeart

User ID: 78227284
United States
07/06/2020 10:49 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
I was feeling lazy and craving pizza, (meaning I did not want to cook that chicken breast tonight!)
so I ordered a medium cheese pizza, well I got in the shower as they said 45 min.... in 10
minutes they were knocking, I got out of the shower all wet and still having soap on... I hastily
put on a set of swim trunks and answered the door, I figured I at least got something on, the
hottest 18yr old ever was at the door, black hair, big gorgeous blue eyes and very small frame,
maybe an B cup... her eyes were wide, very wide!

I was like OMG! I think she digs me, so I went back in and told her to wait in the living room,
well, to make it more weird she saw the remote and turned on the tv, put on some conspiracy doc on Netflix... I
heard that as I was frantically looking for her tip, I came back and gave her a 5 dollar tip and
said "thank you, I see you like gaming", as she was looking around at my 3 arcade machines which
are in the living room, she says I love videogames!

So I say "hey those machines are open for
business, they're on free play, stop by anytime you wanna play, so she hits start and begins a game of Rage of the Dragons, then she loses one round and stops and says she has to go, I say "ok, what's your name?"

She is looking at me very surprised and wide eyed... I say, "sorry I don't mean to be pretentious", she says "Amy..L..Long"... I say "Long?" Then she says "uh.. uh, sorry I mean, Hu... l" then she cracks up and starts laughing, and then I look down at my swim trunks and half my cock has found its way out of them and there it is... my veiny jaggerslayer is resting making me turn
all sorts of red! I suddenly tell her to please leave, she composes herself and I am there thinking
she is laughing at my penis, I covered up with a couch cushion, she passes by and as she is at the door she says, "I'm sorry don't think I was laughing at you... you have an amazing body, just put clothes on baby"... I say "just go!" she says, "Seriously! You are a VERY BIG MAN!"...

Then she tells me what time she gets off work, so should I try going by there? or call her up?

I feel so embarrassed...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76907677


Only a fucking bitch loser cuck named macaulay culkin eats cheese only fucking pizza BITCH!
 Quoting: Q33


This made me laugh! lol
Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.

-Martin Luther King, Jr.
Pink Floyd Forever

User ID: 77974975
United Kingdom
07/06/2020 10:51 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
Good story OP!

Once I had a pizza girl ask if she could use my restroom and it was an emergency. She wasnt super hot, maybe a 6 out of 10, but still cute.

I told her sure she could. She BLEW my toilet up! The stink was ungodly. I was so embarrassed for her. I know she was embarrassed to have to do that. She must have been on the verge of crapping her pants.
 Quoting: Hamburgerwagon


rofl Green for making me laugh!

You should have at least asked for a BJ.
a.k.a: BadMoonRising
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77419313
United States
07/06/2020 10:54 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
OP is on point.
I ran a pizza place. Whenever someone put DTF in the notes I'd send out the hottest 18 year old to deliver the pizzas. They'd hang out, play video games and he'd bang her for hours and then eat pizza.

This is real people, anyone that says otherwise is totally an shut in virgin, just like they claim these people to be that have wicked pizza orgies. They just can't handle the truthsss.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77786543


? Well I learned something new. The pizza places are whorehouses? Wow had no idea.
Q33

User ID: 78698051
Canada
07/06/2020 10:58 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
I was feeling lazy and craving pizza, (meaning I did not want to cook that chicken breast tonight!)
so I ordered a medium cheese pizza, well I got in the shower as they said 45 min.... in 10
minutes they were knocking, I got out of the shower all wet and still having soap on... I hastily
put on a set of swim trunks and answered the door, I figured I at least got something on, the
hottest 18yr old ever was at the door, black hair, big gorgeous blue eyes and very small frame,
maybe an B cup... her eyes were wide, very wide!

I was like OMG! I think she digs me, so I went back in and told her to wait in the living room,
well, to make it more weird she saw the remote and turned on the tv, put on some conspiracy doc on Netflix... I
heard that as I was frantically looking for her tip, I came back and gave her a 5 dollar tip and
said "thank you, I see you like gaming", as she was looking around at my 3 arcade machines which
are in the living room, she says I love videogames!

So I say "hey those machines are open for
business, they're on free play, stop by anytime you wanna play, so she hits start and begins a game of Rage of the Dragons, then she loses one round and stops and says she has to go, I say "ok, what's your name?"

She is looking at me very surprised and wide eyed... I say, "sorry I don't mean to be pretentious", she says "Amy..L..Long"... I say "Long?" Then she says "uh.. uh, sorry I mean, Hu... l" then she cracks up and starts laughing, and then I look down at my swim trunks and half my cock has found its way out of them and there it is... my veiny jaggerslayer is resting making me turn
all sorts of red! I suddenly tell her to please leave, she composes herself and I am there thinking
she is laughing at my penis, I covered up with a couch cushion, she passes by and as she is at the door she says, "I'm sorry don't think I was laughing at you... you have an amazing body, just put clothes on baby"... I say "just go!" she says, "Seriously! You are a VERY BIG MAN!"...

Then she tells me what time she gets off work, so should I try going by there? or call her up?

I feel so embarrassed...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76907677


Only a fucking bitch loser cuck named macaulay culkin eats cheese only fucking pizza BITCH!
 Quoting: Q33


This made me laugh! lol
 Quoting: DeerHeart


Good

Because it is fucking blasphemy to eat a cheese only pizza Must have a maximum of three toppings!
Hamburgerwagon

User ID: 69457309
United States
07/06/2020 11:22 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
Good story OP!

Once I had a pizza girl ask if she could use my restroom and it was an emergency. She wasnt super hot, maybe a 6 out of 10, but still cute.

I told her sure she could. She BLEW my toilet up! The stink was ungodly. I was so embarrassed for her. I know she was embarrassed to have to do that. She must have been on the verge of crapping her pants.
 Quoting: Hamburgerwagon


rofl Green for making me laugh!

You should have at least asked for a BJ.
 Quoting: Pink Floyd Forever


Right LOL. Seriouly though, it smelled so bad I wouldn't have even wanted one.
TraversableWormhole

User ID: 79107623
United Kingdom
07/06/2020 11:28 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
Your "shower thoughts" aren't real.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 74950944
United States
07/06/2020 11:28 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
Same thing happened to me Op on saturday. She never left though. Still here.
The Wizzard of Ahs!

User ID: 77867282
United States
07/06/2020 11:32 AM

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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
I was feeling lazy and craving pizza, (meaning I did not want to cook that chicken breast tonight!)
so I ordered a medium cheese pizza, well I got in the shower as they said 45 min.... in 10
minutes they were knocking, I got out of the shower all wet and still having soap on... I hastily
put on a set of swim trunks and answered the door, I figured I at least got something on, the
hottest 18yr old ever was at the door, black hair, big gorgeous blue eyes and very small frame,
maybe an B cup... her eyes were wide, very wide!

I was like OMG! I think she digs me, so I went back in and told her to wait in the living room,
well, to make it more weird she saw the remote and turned on the tv, put on some conspiracy doc on Netflix... I
heard that as I was frantically looking for her tip, I came back and gave her a 5 dollar tip and
said "thank you, I see you like gaming", as she was looking around at my 3 arcade machines which
are in the living room, she says I love videogames!

So I say "hey those machines are open for
business, they're on free play, stop by anytime you wanna play, so she hits start and begins a game of Rage of the Dragons, then she loses one round and stops and says she has to go, I say "ok, what's your name?"

She is looking at me very surprised and wide eyed... I say, "sorry I don't mean to be pretentious", she says "Amy..L..Long"... I say "Long?" Then she says "uh.. uh, sorry I mean, Hu... l" then she cracks up and starts laughing, and then I look down at my swim trunks and half my cock has found its way out of them and there it is... my veiny jaggerslayer is resting making me turn
all sorts of red! I suddenly tell her to please leave, she composes herself and I am there thinking
she is laughing at my penis, I covered up with a couch cushion, she passes by and as she is at the door she says, "I'm sorry don't think I was laughing at you... you have an amazing body, just put clothes on baby"... I say "just go!" she says, "Seriously! You are a VERY BIG MAN!"...

Then she tells me what time she gets off work, so should I try going by there? or call her up?

I feel so embarrassed...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76907677

coolstory
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79082558
United Kingdom
07/06/2020 11:33 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
Thanks for that OP. That cheered me up.
Butch DeFeo

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07/06/2020 11:49 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!

:DOCSRBAFFLED::redblueLED::DONTBEAPANDEMICS:
Only you can stop the fake pandemic for yourself, no one will ever tell you the pandemic is over. It's time to WIN.
Q33

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07/06/2020 12:19 PM
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Anonymous Coward
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07/06/2020 12:22 PM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
epiclol

5* for the guts to post such bullshit. Kudos!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77445736
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07/06/2020 12:30 PM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
I was feeling lazy and craving pizza, (meaning I did not want to cook that chicken breast tonight!)
so I ordered a medium cheese pizza, well I got in the shower as they said 45 min.... in 10
minutes they were knocking, I got out of the shower all wet and still having soap on... I hastily
put on a set of swim trunks and answered the door, I figured I at least got something on, the
hottest 18yr old ever was at the door, black hair, big gorgeous blue eyes and very small frame,
maybe an B cup... her eyes were wide, very wide!

I was like OMG! I think she digs me, so I went back in and told her to wait in the living room,
well, to make it more weird she saw the remote and turned on the tv, put on some conspiracy doc on Netflix... I
heard that as I was frantically looking for her tip, I came back and gave her a 5 dollar tip and
said "thank you, I see you like gaming", as she was looking around at my 3 arcade machines which
are in the living room, she says I love videogames!

So I say "hey those machines are open for
business, they're on free play, stop by anytime you wanna play, so she hits start and begins a game of Rage of the Dragons, then she loses one round and stops and says she has to go, I say "ok, what's your name?"

She is looking at me very surprised and wide eyed... I say, "sorry I don't mean to be pretentious", she says "Amy..L..Long"... I say "Long?" Then she says "uh.. uh, sorry I mean, Hu... l" then she cracks up and starts laughing, and then I look down at my swim trunks and half my cock has found its way out of them and there it is... my veiny jaggerslayer is resting making me turn
all sorts of red! I suddenly tell her to please leave, she composes herself and I am there thinking
she is laughing at my penis, I covered up with a couch cushion, she passes by and as she is at the door she says, "I'm sorry don't think I was laughing at you... you have an amazing body, just put clothes on baby"... I say "just go!" she says, "Seriously! You are a VERY BIG MAN!"...

Then she tells me what time she gets off work, so should I try going by there? or call her up?

I feel so embarrassed...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76907677


Only a fucking bitch loser cuck named macaulay culkin eats cheese only fucking pizza BITCH!
 Quoting: Q33


OP probably already had loads of protein prior, seeing as he’s a competitive bodybuilding builder and champion caliber swimmer, and he was just looking to maximize his carb intake with a cheese pizza!

She did say he has an amazing body and is a big man down there





GLP