I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!! | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 78542193 07/06/2020 03:47 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I applaud the OP for channeling his incel rage into creative writing. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 78317263 When life gives you a lemon, make lemonade. When life gives you a lemon, take out your swiss army knife and carve a small hole in it and fuck it while pretending it's a hot pizza delivery girl. naw honeymelons warm one up for 83 seconds in the microwave. you figure out the rest... Honey melons, huh? |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 73642252 Denmark 07/06/2020 03:55 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 72815004 Canada 07/06/2020 04:17 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Sentio
User ID: 76939846 United States 07/06/2020 04:45 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 79114702 United States 07/06/2020 04:57 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 79115971 07/06/2020 10:20 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 38309029 United States 07/06/2020 10:25 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I was feeling lazy and craving pizza, (meaning I did not want to cook that chicken breast tonight!) Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76907677 so I ordered a medium cheese pizza, well I got in the shower as they said 45 min.... in 10 minutes they were knocking, I got out of the shower all wet and still having soap on... I hastily put on a set of swim trunks and answered the door, I figured I at least got something on, the hottest 18yr old ever was at the door, black hair, big gorgeous blue eyes and very small frame, maybe an B cup... her eyes were wide, very wide! I was like OMG! I think she digs me, so I went back in and told her to wait in the living room, well, to make it more weird she saw the remote and turned on the tv, put on some conspiracy doc on Netflix... I heard that as I was frantically looking for her tip, I came back and gave her a 5 dollar tip and said "thank you, I see you like gaming", as she was looking around at my 3 arcade machines which are in the living room, she says I love videogames! So I say "hey those machines are open for business, they're on free play, stop by anytime you wanna play, so she hits start and begins a game of Rage of the Dragons, then she loses one round and stops and says she has to go, I say "ok, what's your name?" She is looking at me very surprised and wide eyed... I say, "sorry I don't mean to be pretentious", she says "Amy..L..Long"... I say "Long?" Then she says "uh.. uh, sorry I mean, Hu... l" then she cracks up and starts laughing, and then I look down at my swim trunks and half my cock has found its way out of them and there it is... my veiny jaggerslayer is resting making me turn all sorts of red! I suddenly tell her to please leave, she composes herself and I am there thinking she is laughing at my penis, I covered up with a couch cushion, she passes by and as she is at the door she says, "I'm sorry don't think I was laughing at you... you have an amazing body, just put clothes on baby"... I say "just go!" she says, "Seriously! You are a VERY BIG MAN!"... Then she tells me what time she gets off work, so should I try going by there? or call her up? I feel so embarrassed... |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 79115971 07/06/2020 10:37 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Hamburgerwagon
User ID: 69457309 United States 07/06/2020 10:37 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Good story OP! Once I had a pizza girl ask if she could use my restroom and it was an emergency. She wasnt super hot, maybe a 6 out of 10, but still cute. I told her sure she could. She BLEW my toilet up! The stink was ungodly. I was so embarrassed for her. I know she was embarrassed to have to do that. She must have been on the verge of crapping her pants. |
Deplorable NO MORE Michele B
User ID: 78603788 United States 07/06/2020 10:37 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I was feeling lazy and craving pizza, (meaning I did not want to cook that chicken breast tonight!) Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76907677 so I ordered a medium cheese pizza, well I got in the shower as they said 45 min.... in 10 minutes they were knocking, I got out of the shower all wet and still having soap on... I hastily put on a set of swim trunks and answered the door, I figured I at least got something on, the hottest 18yr old ever was at the door, black hair, big gorgeous blue eyes and very small frame, maybe an B cup... her eyes were wide, very wide! I was like OMG! I think she digs me, so I went back in and told her to wait in the living room, well, to make it more weird she saw the remote and turned on the tv, put on some conspiracy doc on Netflix... I heard that as I was frantically looking for her tip, I came back and gave her a 5 dollar tip and said "thank you, I see you like gaming", as she was looking around at my 3 arcade machines which are in the living room, she says I love videogames! So I say "hey those machines are open for business, they're on free play, stop by anytime you wanna play, so she hits start and begins a game of Rage of the Dragons, then she loses one round and stops and says she has to go, I say "ok, what's your name?" She is looking at me very surprised and wide eyed... I say, "sorry I don't mean to be pretentious", she says "Amy..L..Long"... I say "Long?" Then she says "uh.. uh, sorry I mean, Hu... l" then she cracks up and starts laughing, and then I look down at my swim trunks and half my cock has found its way out of them and there it is... my veiny jaggerslayer is resting making me turn all sorts of red! I suddenly tell her to please leave, she composes herself and I am there thinking she is laughing at my penis, I covered up with a couch cushion, she passes by and as she is at the door she says, "I'm sorry don't think I was laughing at you... you have an amazing body, just put clothes on baby"... I say "just go!" she says, "Seriously! You are a VERY BIG MAN!"... Then she tells me what time she gets off work, so should I try going by there? or call her up? I feel so embarrassed... Sure,’go for it! And if you have the same dream tonight, I’m sure she’ll be there again! |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 78442452 Australia 07/06/2020 10:39 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Dogfood™
User ID: 30454234 United States 07/06/2020 10:41 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 79024012 United States 07/06/2020 10:44 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I was feeling lazy and craving pizza, (meaning I did not want to cook that chicken breast tonight!) Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76907677 so I ordered a medium cheese pizza, well I got in the shower as they said 45 min.... in 10 minutes they were knocking, I got out of the shower all wet and still having soap on... I hastily put on a set of swim trunks and answered the door, I figured I at least got something on, the hottest 18yr old ever was at the door, black hair, big gorgeous blue eyes and very small frame, maybe an B cup... her eyes were wide, very wide! I was like OMG! I think she digs me, so I went back in and told her to wait in the living room, well, to make it more weird she saw the remote and turned on the tv, put on some conspiracy doc on Netflix... I heard that as I was frantically looking for her tip, I came back and gave her a 5 dollar tip and said "thank you, I see you like gaming", as she was looking around at my 3 arcade machines which are in the living room, she says I love videogames! So I say "hey those machines are open for business, they're on free play, stop by anytime you wanna play, so she hits start and begins a game of Rage of the Dragons, then she loses one round and stops and says she has to go, I say "ok, what's your name?" She is looking at me very surprised and wide eyed... I say, "sorry I don't mean to be pretentious", she says "Amy..L..Long"... I say "Long?" Then she says "uh.. uh, sorry I mean, Hu... l" then she cracks up and starts laughing, and then I look down at my swim trunks and half my cock has found its way out of them and there it is... my veiny jaggerslayer is resting making me turn all sorts of red! I suddenly tell her to please leave, she composes herself and I am there thinking she is laughing at my penis, I covered up with a couch cushion, she passes by and as she is at the door she says, "I'm sorry don't think I was laughing at you... you have an amazing body, just put clothes on baby"... I say "just go!" she says, "Seriously! You are a VERY BIG MAN!"... Then she tells me what time she gets off work, so should I try going by there? or call her up? I feel so embarrassed... Troll thread |
Q33
User ID: 78698051 Canada 07/06/2020 10:45 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I was feeling lazy and craving pizza, (meaning I did not want to cook that chicken breast tonight!) Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76907677 so I ordered a medium cheese pizza, well I got in the shower as they said 45 min.... in 10 minutes they were knocking, I got out of the shower all wet and still having soap on... I hastily put on a set of swim trunks and answered the door, I figured I at least got something on, the hottest 18yr old ever was at the door, black hair, big gorgeous blue eyes and very small frame, maybe an B cup... her eyes were wide, very wide! I was like OMG! I think she digs me, so I went back in and told her to wait in the living room, well, to make it more weird she saw the remote and turned on the tv, put on some conspiracy doc on Netflix... I heard that as I was frantically looking for her tip, I came back and gave her a 5 dollar tip and said "thank you, I see you like gaming", as she was looking around at my 3 arcade machines which are in the living room, she says I love videogames! So I say "hey those machines are open for business, they're on free play, stop by anytime you wanna play, so she hits start and begins a game of Rage of the Dragons, then she loses one round and stops and says she has to go, I say "ok, what's your name?" She is looking at me very surprised and wide eyed... I say, "sorry I don't mean to be pretentious", she says "Amy..L..Long"... I say "Long?" Then she says "uh.. uh, sorry I mean, Hu... l" then she cracks up and starts laughing, and then I look down at my swim trunks and half my cock has found its way out of them and there it is... my veiny jaggerslayer is resting making me turn all sorts of red! I suddenly tell her to please leave, she composes herself and I am there thinking she is laughing at my penis, I covered up with a couch cushion, she passes by and as she is at the door she says, "I'm sorry don't think I was laughing at you... you have an amazing body, just put clothes on baby"... I say "just go!" she says, "Seriously! You are a VERY BIG MAN!"... Then she tells me what time she gets off work, so should I try going by there? or call her up? I feel so embarrassed... Only a fucking bitch loser cuck named macaulay culkin eats cheese only fucking pizza BITCH! |
DeerHeart
User ID: 78227284 United States 07/06/2020 10:46 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 75710022 United States 07/06/2020 10:47 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Pink Floyd Forever
User ID: 77974975 United Kingdom 07/06/2020 10:49 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
DeerHeart
User ID: 78227284 United States 07/06/2020 10:49 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I was feeling lazy and craving pizza, (meaning I did not want to cook that chicken breast tonight!) Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76907677 so I ordered a medium cheese pizza, well I got in the shower as they said 45 min.... in 10 minutes they were knocking, I got out of the shower all wet and still having soap on... I hastily put on a set of swim trunks and answered the door, I figured I at least got something on, the hottest 18yr old ever was at the door, black hair, big gorgeous blue eyes and very small frame, maybe an B cup... her eyes were wide, very wide! I was like OMG! I think she digs me, so I went back in and told her to wait in the living room, well, to make it more weird she saw the remote and turned on the tv, put on some conspiracy doc on Netflix... I heard that as I was frantically looking for her tip, I came back and gave her a 5 dollar tip and said "thank you, I see you like gaming", as she was looking around at my 3 arcade machines which are in the living room, she says I love videogames! So I say "hey those machines are open for business, they're on free play, stop by anytime you wanna play, so she hits start and begins a game of Rage of the Dragons, then she loses one round and stops and says she has to go, I say "ok, what's your name?" She is looking at me very surprised and wide eyed... I say, "sorry I don't mean to be pretentious", she says "Amy..L..Long"... I say "Long?" Then she says "uh.. uh, sorry I mean, Hu... l" then she cracks up and starts laughing, and then I look down at my swim trunks and half my cock has found its way out of them and there it is... my veiny jaggerslayer is resting making me turn all sorts of red! I suddenly tell her to please leave, she composes herself and I am there thinking she is laughing at my penis, I covered up with a couch cushion, she passes by and as she is at the door she says, "I'm sorry don't think I was laughing at you... you have an amazing body, just put clothes on baby"... I say "just go!" she says, "Seriously! You are a VERY BIG MAN!"... Then she tells me what time she gets off work, so should I try going by there? or call her up? I feel so embarrassed... Only a fucking bitch loser cuck named macaulay culkin eats cheese only fucking pizza BITCH! This made me laugh! Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity. -Martin Luther King, Jr. |
Pink Floyd Forever
User ID: 77974975 United Kingdom 07/06/2020 10:51 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Good story OP! Quoting: Hamburgerwagon Once I had a pizza girl ask if she could use my restroom and it was an emergency. She wasnt super hot, maybe a 6 out of 10, but still cute. I told her sure she could. She BLEW my toilet up! The stink was ungodly. I was so embarrassed for her. I know she was embarrassed to have to do that. She must have been on the verge of crapping her pants. Green for making me laugh! You should have at least asked for a BJ. a.k.a: BadMoonRising |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 77419313 United States 07/06/2020 10:54 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | OP is on point. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77786543 I ran a pizza place. Whenever someone put DTF in the notes I'd send out the hottest 18 year old to deliver the pizzas. They'd hang out, play video games and he'd bang her for hours and then eat pizza. This is real people, anyone that says otherwise is totally an shut in virgin, just like they claim these people to be that have wicked pizza orgies. They just can't handle the truthsss. ? Well I learned something new. The pizza places are whorehouses? Wow had no idea. |
Q33
User ID: 78698051 Canada 07/06/2020 10:58 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I was feeling lazy and craving pizza, (meaning I did not want to cook that chicken breast tonight!) Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76907677 so I ordered a medium cheese pizza, well I got in the shower as they said 45 min.... in 10 minutes they were knocking, I got out of the shower all wet and still having soap on... I hastily put on a set of swim trunks and answered the door, I figured I at least got something on, the hottest 18yr old ever was at the door, black hair, big gorgeous blue eyes and very small frame, maybe an B cup... her eyes were wide, very wide! I was like OMG! I think she digs me, so I went back in and told her to wait in the living room, well, to make it more weird she saw the remote and turned on the tv, put on some conspiracy doc on Netflix... I heard that as I was frantically looking for her tip, I came back and gave her a 5 dollar tip and said "thank you, I see you like gaming", as she was looking around at my 3 arcade machines which are in the living room, she says I love videogames! So I say "hey those machines are open for business, they're on free play, stop by anytime you wanna play, so she hits start and begins a game of Rage of the Dragons, then she loses one round and stops and says she has to go, I say "ok, what's your name?" She is looking at me very surprised and wide eyed... I say, "sorry I don't mean to be pretentious", she says "Amy..L..Long"... I say "Long?" Then she says "uh.. uh, sorry I mean, Hu... l" then she cracks up and starts laughing, and then I look down at my swim trunks and half my cock has found its way out of them and there it is... my veiny jaggerslayer is resting making me turn all sorts of red! I suddenly tell her to please leave, she composes herself and I am there thinking she is laughing at my penis, I covered up with a couch cushion, she passes by and as she is at the door she says, "I'm sorry don't think I was laughing at you... you have an amazing body, just put clothes on baby"... I say "just go!" she says, "Seriously! You are a VERY BIG MAN!"... Then she tells me what time she gets off work, so should I try going by there? or call her up? I feel so embarrassed... Only a fucking bitch loser cuck named macaulay culkin eats cheese only fucking pizza BITCH! This made me laugh! Good Because it is fucking blasphemy to eat a cheese only pizza Must have a maximum of three toppings! |
Hamburgerwagon
User ID: 69457309 United States 07/06/2020 11:22 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Good story OP! Quoting: Hamburgerwagon Once I had a pizza girl ask if she could use my restroom and it was an emergency. She wasnt super hot, maybe a 6 out of 10, but still cute. I told her sure she could. She BLEW my toilet up! The stink was ungodly. I was so embarrassed for her. I know she was embarrassed to have to do that. She must have been on the verge of crapping her pants. Green for making me laugh! You should have at least asked for a BJ. Right LOL. Seriouly though, it smelled so bad I wouldn't have even wanted one. |
TraversableWormhole
User ID: 79107623 United Kingdom 07/06/2020 11:28 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 74950944 United States 07/06/2020 11:28 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
The Wizzard of Ahs!
User ID: 77867282 United States 07/06/2020 11:32 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I was feeling lazy and craving pizza, (meaning I did not want to cook that chicken breast tonight!) Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76907677 so I ordered a medium cheese pizza, well I got in the shower as they said 45 min.... in 10 minutes they were knocking, I got out of the shower all wet and still having soap on... I hastily put on a set of swim trunks and answered the door, I figured I at least got something on, the hottest 18yr old ever was at the door, black hair, big gorgeous blue eyes and very small frame, maybe an B cup... her eyes were wide, very wide! I was like OMG! I think she digs me, so I went back in and told her to wait in the living room, well, to make it more weird she saw the remote and turned on the tv, put on some conspiracy doc on Netflix... I heard that as I was frantically looking for her tip, I came back and gave her a 5 dollar tip and said "thank you, I see you like gaming", as she was looking around at my 3 arcade machines which are in the living room, she says I love videogames! So I say "hey those machines are open for business, they're on free play, stop by anytime you wanna play, so she hits start and begins a game of Rage of the Dragons, then she loses one round and stops and says she has to go, I say "ok, what's your name?" She is looking at me very surprised and wide eyed... I say, "sorry I don't mean to be pretentious", she says "Amy..L..Long"... I say "Long?" Then she says "uh.. uh, sorry I mean, Hu... l" then she cracks up and starts laughing, and then I look down at my swim trunks and half my cock has found its way out of them and there it is... my veiny jaggerslayer is resting making me turn all sorts of red! I suddenly tell her to please leave, she composes herself and I am there thinking she is laughing at my penis, I covered up with a couch cushion, she passes by and as she is at the door she says, "I'm sorry don't think I was laughing at you... you have an amazing body, just put clothes on baby"... I say "just go!" she says, "Seriously! You are a VERY BIG MAN!"... Then she tells me what time she gets off work, so should I try going by there? or call her up? I feel so embarrassed... |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 79082558 United Kingdom 07/06/2020 11:33 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Butch DeFeo
User ID: 53505556 United States 07/06/2020 11:49 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Q33
User ID: 78698051 Canada 07/06/2020 12:19 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 77663168 United States 07/06/2020 12:22 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 77445736 United States 07/06/2020 12:30 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I was feeling lazy and craving pizza, (meaning I did not want to cook that chicken breast tonight!) Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76907677 so I ordered a medium cheese pizza, well I got in the shower as they said 45 min.... in 10 minutes they were knocking, I got out of the shower all wet and still having soap on... I hastily put on a set of swim trunks and answered the door, I figured I at least got something on, the hottest 18yr old ever was at the door, black hair, big gorgeous blue eyes and very small frame, maybe an B cup... her eyes were wide, very wide! I was like OMG! I think she digs me, so I went back in and told her to wait in the living room, well, to make it more weird she saw the remote and turned on the tv, put on some conspiracy doc on Netflix... I heard that as I was frantically looking for her tip, I came back and gave her a 5 dollar tip and said "thank you, I see you like gaming", as she was looking around at my 3 arcade machines which are in the living room, she says I love videogames! So I say "hey those machines are open for business, they're on free play, stop by anytime you wanna play, so she hits start and begins a game of Rage of the Dragons, then she loses one round and stops and says she has to go, I say "ok, what's your name?" She is looking at me very surprised and wide eyed... I say, "sorry I don't mean to be pretentious", she says "Amy..L..Long"... I say "Long?" Then she says "uh.. uh, sorry I mean, Hu... l" then she cracks up and starts laughing, and then I look down at my swim trunks and half my cock has found its way out of them and there it is... my veiny jaggerslayer is resting making me turn all sorts of red! I suddenly tell her to please leave, she composes herself and I am there thinking she is laughing at my penis, I covered up with a couch cushion, she passes by and as she is at the door she says, "I'm sorry don't think I was laughing at you... you have an amazing body, just put clothes on baby"... I say "just go!" she says, "Seriously! You are a VERY BIG MAN!"... Then she tells me what time she gets off work, so should I try going by there? or call her up? I feel so embarrassed... Only a fucking bitch loser cuck named macaulay culkin eats cheese only fucking pizza BITCH! OP probably already had loads of protein prior, seeing as he’s a competitive bodybuilding builder and champion caliber swimmer, and he was just looking to maximize his carb intake with a cheese pizza! She did say he has an amazing body and is a big man down there |