My fingers are shaking uncontrollably. I am horrified beyond comprehension.

I feel slightly vulnerable. I'm in a restaurant hiding out. I've ordered a coffee, black. I rented a room for a few nights on the cheap, but you always get what you pay for.

Alcohol contributed to today's fiasco. The people offering the lodging have had some bad blood between them. A roommate as it turned out was being evicted.

Accusations of rent raised on a whim we're being bellowed. Holy shit, I thought, this fucking place is a mad house. Calls were made, threats commenced. I excused myself.

I imagine some real hardship is about to take place. Tonight will be one that I will pay particular attention to. I'll sleep at the greyhound station if need be. This has been a weird week.

She has not told me to eat shit and die, or to fuck off at least(been 3 days that she has known without a shadow of a doubt that i loves her). In fact, she is reciprocating, gently. now I'm wondering if she has been checking me out the whole time that ive been checkin her out, the same looks that she has always givin me(over the course of 2 years 5 days a week), she still is, now though she speaks softly and sweetly to me.

I got back to the shop(for example) had grabbed some food before I got there. I couldn't eat it there knowing she was hungry. I ate the macaroni salad and gave her my chicken wings sayin I wasn't hungry. *whispers* >>"she is loving me". ive not got it in the bag though. i know that she is returning my love(even though ive never mentioned love to anyone but you).

now i await the moment when we smack together like magnets, hearts intertwined. and so it begins.

i play with tarot cards, they were a gift from my deceased love. i pulled a card concerning my secretary, it was the card of commencement.

Well, pursue with all you got. I did. It din' work out. Why should have it? I'm a fucked up person. Stupidly stumbling through life. No love lost. I assure you. Or is it lost? I'm fucked up at a bar in a town I should not be in. The glasses of beer are small.

the love is lost. the more vast the love the more it hurts to lose, and the longer it takes for more to grow again. it should work because there are millions of crazy fucked ppl on this planet. there is one to you. prob sittin around wonderin where you are.. right now. im with ya. im stumblim myself. as far as being a fucked up person. im unique, it is what it is and I am who I am. being fucked up makes things interesting. maybe. jus a little.

Seether - Driven Under

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Out of all of the millions of fucked up people, I think I have the unique ability to repel them with ease. Something they can see that I cannot. Something wihin that shines through. Something that makes it evident that I should be avoided.

She was the best lover I have ever had. Her skin was soft and her touch allowed me to feel alive once again.

Her text this morning apologized, as she told me not to wait for her. She explained how she did not want to hurt me.

I'm falling again. Falling into a dark place. Enveloped and consumed by this which is so familiar.

May today be filled with intoxication and words writ from a broken heart. People like me are not allowed the promise of love. People like me get what they deserve.

I made myself sound as horrible as possible in regards to my profile on the dating site. No car. Socially does drugs. I had a theory. I figured the one would read my descriptive words and query of me further.

Three days later after making the account she did. We met and I specifically told her that I was saving myself for my next soul mate. She pretended that she was the one. She even told me she loved me when she came. I gave her my heart right then and there.

I guess she slept on it and changed her mind. There will be no future for us. No warm nights of closeness as we sleep. No hearing her laugh anymore. I feel like a whore.

It should come as no surprise. My comms were compromised. The mainstream accounts have been deactivated with a goodbye letter to the angels.

Twas a mistake to adventure out in the light. I'll stay here, like a hermit. A very strange person who haunts this thread. I went ghost.

BOO!

Don't scream, it's just me. Don't you dare weird out on me now, I was dead the whole time.

Are u related to Zakk?

Lol

Yes, of course, and I'm related to you also. I'm the demon within you that makes you insane. It's a pleasure to finally meet you officially.

Do you got anything to eat besides your spirit? Order me a pizza. Thin crust. Bacon, spinach, and pepperoni should do it.

Thanx.

You remind me of a flower, a pansy. Beautiful.

I cannot help remember our conversation last night. Where did I fuck it up? I really have no secrets, should I make my life experience thus far a guarded thing? Is it really that extreme?

Was it the poetry? The art?

More n' likely. So here is the deal people, if you are anything more than the mainstream regurgitated normal shit that inundates our modern culture, you will be regarded as all kinds of fucked off, and worthless.

All right then. I'll embrace it. Polite society it's about time you and I part ways. I fucking hate you, and you fucking hate me.

I'm so sorry, I thought for myself and disregarded your traditional belief system's. It is a flawed thing that you hold dear, it's like a disease.

Non-traditional, too, is traditional. Has been for quite some time. smile.

Please expound on this a bit. If'n you don't mind. Are you saying to reject the norm, you become the norm?

I don't want to smile. I wanna have a freak out, wanna watch?

Rejecting the norm has always existed. Bell curve type thing. And so, it is normal in that sense.

...

Sure, go on, freak out. How long is your reach? 'Cause if you're going to be flailing all dramatic-like, I'll need to position myself accordingly.

Goddamn that's hot. Wow. So.......The reach is ample, but I'm gentle. For whatever that's worth.

chuckle. I've heard that one before. wink.

And here I thought you were an abnormal kinda guy. hrmph.

Really?! My normalcy needs questioned? Listen, if you need it broke off in you, then let me know. (wink)

I'm listening to a song.

Wait, they wont love you like I love you.

Maps

Yeah, yeah, yeahs.

Okay. Sure. <-- This is me letting you know.

I'm not sure what this "it" is, but... well, I'm adventurous.

*crossing fingers* Let it be fun!

"It's" a dick. And yes it would be fun, just as long as you are not so jaded and destroyed by your past.

Fear is the mind killer, and aint none of us got time for that shit.

So...............are you still down?

Like, a real dick? Not one of those weird symbolic things that leave me all *what the hell just happened?*? blink.

How you gonna get it in me? Magic? sulk.

Hey, so, I was thinking.

the day is ours, waiting to be ceased.
we're all ready to be pleased.

once they're all dead or in nursing homes shitting themselves.

there will be whom at the helm? who shall guide the young ones of this day. who will guide the day its self.

shall we? has our purpose become evident, in our birthright.

still left without an honorable purpose.


went out yesterday and seen the sunset the moon the stars then the sun rise, all magnificent and majestic n shit. in the midst of the glorios creation of that with which I was witnessing, I found my mind thinking of my secretary. lookin at the moon and seeing pizza pie. im screwed this love is going to hurt me, and I may be ok with that. itll teach me.

went hunting with some rich kid with a 50k truck was comfortable hunt, caught a boar hog and a smaller one. then took them to a person whom has a business doing guided hunts. we sold him the hogs we caught, released them into a big pen to be hunted by doctors and lawyers on a swamp buggy.

“This year has begun hopefully for right thinkers. After all these centuries of feudal barbarism and political slavery, it is surprising to see how the word of ‘liberty’ sets minds on fire.” - Napoleon Bonaparte in 1789




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Pretty Lights - One Day They'll Know (ODESZA Remix) - A Color Map of the Sun Remixes

Haha, You are fun, and you intrigue me. I would go to the ends of the earth for something that is worth while. I just left my home land on a broken promise. I will experience a million more for the chance at something real.

Nice poetry 1123. Fucking A, I love my family. Forever more.

Boar Hog? You in the south?

haha indeed. I am fun. And I do intrigue you. smile.

Yes, I've been following your sad story. It's very sad. But also funny. And intriguing.

So, what about that magic dick? How shall I prepare myself? Any concoctions I should have begun brewing at the last full moon? I'm afraid I don't have a cauldron. Will a soup pot do? Oh!—and I haven't a cloak! Will this be a problem?

Just make me some dinner, and cuddle the fuck out of me. Put your essence next to mine and connect with me. I want more than intercourse, but I do want a lot of intercourse.

Are you down with cunnilingus? I will satisfy my lover no matter her taste.

That sounds pretty traditional. Can you make me a better offer? wink.

Not shaking too much , yo spelling is perfekt.