My fingers are shaking uncontrollably. I am horrified beyond comprehension.

Sort of. It's the number sequence that mathematically harmonizes with the perfection of life.

No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Death is scary. Like your being right now. Stop scaring me. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

J/k. Ya'll know how I gets when it gets intense.

does death kinda seems like an exit point? a passage way, but you know not where it leads.

Maybe, maybe it feels like sleep, sweet and eternal. Sleep with scary dreams.

It's all so very confusing.

are you seeking a way out of the matrix?

Do you hold the keys to something else? Are you messianic? Or are you just messy? Fess up gangsta.

Last Edited by institutionalized on 09/05/2012 02:34 PM

Are you thinking of death, DPS?

I think of death all the time. I find life rather unsatisfying. I take responsibility for this. In the sense that i am ultimately the one responsible for whatever experience I take from life.

I self destruct, my hands are always covered in my own blood.

Why don't you take up writing instead?

I think you need to leave the mushrooms alone
for a while

Errrm, I uh...Well it's just that there is nothing better than the magic of real time communication.

It feels metaphysical to me.

Last Edited by institutionalized on 09/05/2012 02:37 PM

macabre meanderings of the mind
break away set them free

im looking for a way out of this pardigm, my ultimate goal is to be a god in my own universe.

death is the only exit point i see, but then i would reincarnate into another matrix and fail.

but i think that the solution is suicide after attaining a certain think through soul alchemy

Beautifully writ. All consuming. I love it.

Nine!!!!! Nine!!!!!!!

They are horrified to float about without the protection of flesh. I want to say something so dark it causes everything to fade just a shade.

That's too bad. Do you have any suicide hotline numbers? Google them bro, if in need. If not it's cool, you can communicate here, it'll make you feel better.

Well that takes away this weekends sacraments. What should I have instead?

what are you talking about, im not suicidal nor depressed.

im talking from an alchimecal point of view, if natural death takes you the big place where they reincarnate you, then where does suicide takes you.

have you not wondered why so many great magickans have gone through a suicide ritual?

No, there is no evidence for this

Interesting I have been reading about soul alchemy.
Death is the only exit for any of us...let's not rush to get there..;)

Are you able to project? It seems to me projecting yourself into the matrix rather than dying to get there might be a happy medium.

O.I.C.

Just as this thing was getting more fun than jumping into a pool of jello shots. I have to leave, momentarily.

Goddamned responsibility to hell.

Leave some questions, talk among yourselves. I'll be back, way later.

and exposing myself to beasts?? i would not project. i use clairvoynence, and let my sub conscious filter and build my dreams

You should never eat anything black.

No he won't, some one's bound to give him one star and send him into a spiral of depression.

Yea, but you know what they say about hindsight and being able to see really well.

If I could go back in time I would have eaten only half.

Even the suggestion of one starring this thing that I'm doing on line..................would probably be o.k. It's not meant for the mainstream. It caters to crazy.

A very small portion of the online community will like it. These are the ones shunned by a hateful and evil society.

All the normal folks, all the rich people, all the happy people, will detest it. They will swallow back bile that floods their mouths.

They will rant and rave and pull out some of their hair. They will one star and bad karma the fuck out of me. That's cool, I can live with that.

Last Edited by institutionalized on 09/06/2012 02:32 AM

A song I oft times play whilst falling asleep, subconsciously speaks to me things I awake without remembering.

I go through my day, and the smallest thing sets me off. I fly off the handle into some hate fueled rage.

I scream curses, spittle flies free, I ball up my fists and swing them wildly in the air, I throw myself to the floor and roll around flailing all about.

Well, anyway......I can't find that album that has the song on it.

Cloak and dagger? Yes, please.

Like a cryptic and secret message I'm going to hide specific personal intel within the middle of this thread.

In my heightened state of awareness (paranoia), I try and take within every detail. I've been taking notice of every synchronicity.

The operative that bummed a smoke from me yesterday was professional. He kept it quick and short and didn't allow me any specific intel.

The asset who approached me in order to video me, allowed for me to have his phone number, his name, and his military history. He claimed to be ex-special forces. He was wearing his dog tags on the outside of his shirt. One tag had a sound suppressor the other did not. The phone he was using to video me was fricking high tech awesomeness.

One of his eyes were hazel, and the other a dark brown. Contact?

He played a guitar, and stated that he was influenced by the popular music of slipknot. Tee hee, Really?

He claimed to be from Dallas, and was now in Springfield Mo. Selling German engineered air filtration systems.

It was fucking hilarious when he told me this. I thought he claimed that he dealt in German infiltration systems.

It was soon clarified and I was like. O.I.C.

Last Edited by institutionalized on 09/07/2012 12:22 PM

Bring it, OP, bring it.