beeches lost her husband today. Sad condolences.

Well now it is time for saying nighty night. I don't want you to feel alone.

Please feel free to tell us how you are doing. You must be so busy with relatives and arrangements right now. Are you OK? Are you alone or are others there for you?

^^This^^

I know you're strong, beeches, but I worry about your being alone too much.

I absolutely would lose it if my husband died. I dread that day. Dread it.

Thinking about you!!

Come to think of it, we never really are alone, are we? :)

THANK YOU



Last Edited by beeches on 07/18/2020 06:43 AM

Arrangements are underway. First order of things is the physical. . . burial, if so where, cremation, if so where do the ashes go....

there is much to be done that requires a death certificate. That takes time, the funeral home helps there.

The obit was not written by me. It was the responsibility of my daughters. As a joke one day I said no more obits. After writing them for both my parents, I did not want to write any more.

So they kindly did it, and did better by far than I could have.

Just

This is kind of the reverse of a hospice thread!

but like those 2 important threads here, it may continue for a while. One reason people have hospice is to have support not only for the dying person, but for the family as well.

I don't have that.... but the dialysis community is close-knit, in my experience.

I will be in touch with the dialysis people today in our old state. And I will visit the TTS group at his new dialysis place.

Tuesday Thusday Saturday group. That was his schedule. Dialysis rules your time. For many it is the only place they go other than the nursing home or their own home.

GLP is a grab bag of a thousand notes of music. The notes can clash or make a symphony.


I am never alone when I am here.... and I will not leave.

Last Edited by beeches on 07/18/2020 06:58 AM

The hardest part is the distance from my adult children right now... but them being young adults, their lives are not geographically settled yet.

I don't miss my wonderful old house. I don't miss blue state paranoia either.

I have support here.

and coffee!

LIR

I looked for you.

your presence is calming and fun! dare I speak of fun now??

guess so!

I almost missed your post.... at the near bottom of a page.


specifically, you had presences in places you lived or live... you know what I mean, I hope.

For a night or two I was very on edge. Hoping and not hoping, praying and trying to think of anything else... no attention span worth more than s millisecond.... that period is ending or over.

so glad you have graced this thread.

God bless you and keep you. Sorry for your loss.

you too, Red John.

no chord of music complete without you.


There is nothing about life to learn here except its most salient point - it ends, and literally in a heartbeat sometimes.

please enjoy your day, and may we all build Nantes again in our hearts.

so sick of about that cathedral fire now.

I just saw this post.... So sorry for your loss..

Even though I'm a loner and socially awkward, I too find comfort in this place.. I'm glad you're here...


A big heartfelt hug to you...

being a loner is something helpful at times of our lives.. think of Walden Pond and Henry David Thoreau


now is loner and belonging. Both heightened by circumstances.


both make us more human.

one of my favorite smilies!

coffee is one of the liquids that keep a body alive!

I'd add wine, myself!

Blessings upon you, Beeches! That "physical" part of a loved one's death is a grind. Order way more death certificates than you think you could possibly need. The bureaucracy has become almost overwhelming. Don't let it wear you down.

you said the very same thing a lawyer friend said. Get 12 was his recommendation. Thank you for bringing this to people's attention.... I requested 10.

THANK YOU

beeches, I've been off the forum and the internet for several years. Long story, won't go into it now. In that time, my kidneys did shut down, but the docs were able to get them started again. That was about 6 years ago. I just found out I've been living with stage 4. No one told us. I looked up some stuff on the net, but it's all very confusing. We're working on getting a referral to a kidney specialist, but
tricare being what it is, it's a mess.


What I'm trying to ask is, where is a good place to start for info? Maybe a support group? I really don't know where to start, for the first time in my life. I swear I lost some brain cells during that 2 weeks in the hospital. I know I don't remember most of it.

Sorry to put this on your beautiful thread. I just saw you reference it again. Hope it's ok to ask.

Thank you for putting this on the thread, and for calling it beautiful!

Lots to say here, and it will take a few posts over time, please do check back.

Stage 4 can stay at stage 4 or progress. We had acute kidney injury, so it was right to stage 5 and dialysis in the ICU.

Mathetes the poster has avoided the need for dialysis for a LONG time. Baking soda is one of his mainstays. Look up his threads.

know your GFR rate. below 15 you need dialysis. He had gone up to 17, I found out after his death. He wanted off dialysis, frankly I did too for him, but...

you need a nephrologist who will work with you.

too many of them are dialed in completely to dialysis as the inevitable end for all late-stage folks. Dialysis is their bread and butter.

Don't accept that.

We found one such guy - he was willing to take him off dialysis and do labs every week. My husband had once gone 16 days off dialysis machines and did WELL... but his creatinine started to climb up again.

He did okay because he still had a robust urine output. Normal in that regard.

a nephrologis called it "dumb urine" meaning it rid the body of fluids, but not of all toxins.

we still hoped for recovery - it happens with Acute Kidney Injury.

in fact, you may have recovered from it yourself, judging by your post

My pcm says I will have it for the rest of my life. I got sick when I was packing out our old house in Texas. I have NO idea how I drove from very west Texas to Stephenville, in central Texas(sort of). I got to have an ambulance ride to Fort Worth on my birthday, a few weeks later. I had pnemonia (sp?), uncontrolled diabetes, and a virus they never could identify. I'm just now finding things out about what happened. I just had new labs done, but don't have the results yet. My creatinine has never been back to normal, but it has been close. After all of that, they said I had an acute kidney injury, too.

To make things even more fun, our pcm is 2 hours away in Michigan. We moved back to Ohio to help with parents. Dad passed before we could get back and my Mom passed a year ago. Just my mil is left and she is just starting to go down the dementia road. That's one I hoped never to go down again.

Oh well, mom always said old age isn't the golden years, they're made of brass. She might have been right.

Let me toss this out for you, also.

Usually, there is nothing wrong with the kidneys other than
being blocked up.

Try Strauss Kidney Drops. after 3 or 4 bottles,
most kidneys are fully cleared out and functioning greatly.

Worth a try, anyway.

"Dumb urine" is a lie. Once they get you on the dialysis
merry-go-round, they don't ever want to let you off.
'Till death do you part'...

I'm not a DR. Take my advice with a drop of dumb urine.

responding to both of you!

you did so much, and you have a guardian angel watching over you for sure.

pick your kidney doc with extreme care...... find a naturopathic one. Find an offbeat one...

anything but the sad merry-go-round.....dialysis does reduce native kddney function.

you want to preserve your kidneys and your life as you know it.

I know a little about dialysis from second hand info. My daughter's fil was on it for about 2 years before he dies. They tried the at home kind for about 6 months, but then he had to go into a home. Not sure about the details, they were very private about it all. But....he was a doctor and a very uncontrolled diabetic. He ate whatever he wanted and expected the insulin to fix it. He carried a lot of weight, too. It's a shame because he was a good man and a good doctor. His family misses him.

*edit to add*

I'm a wimp when it comes to most things medical, so if I can find a way to stay healthy and avoid it, I will! It took me forever in the hospital to learn to give myself insulin.

Last Edited by Texan Buckeye on 07/18/2020 10:07 AM

that is a total shame...

my husband was NOT diabetic at all, most on dialysis are. he had NO high blood pressure, most on dialysis do.

we tried at-home peritoneal dialysis and it did not work at all for him. We really tried... his body absorbed the dialysate fluid in no time flat. not supposed to happen. It goes in and out via a tube in the bdomen.

in-center hemodialysis is something BBQ BOY has posted lots and lots about on his thread here.

He sent me a couple of links and ideas already. I'll look at them tonight. Trying to get a few things done before it gets too hot.

Thanks so much, hon. Flavapor opened the coffee klatch thread back up for a "safe place" to hang out. Y'all are welcome for a cup of whatever and just some good conversation.

Flavapor had such a great thread with recipes.... that the thread ?

will look!



Last Edited by beeches on 07/18/2020 10:21 AM