Just picked up my girls from weekend visitation with their father... | |
phoenixe
User ID: 7684680 Germany 01/01/2012 09:44 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | They were in the same clothes I sent them in. My 9 year old's hair is so tangled it may need to be cut. The 2 year old has 15 mosquito bites on her little legs and they have not brushed their teeth the whole weekend. I am furious. My 9 year old told me that they don't have to take baths until right before I come and that since I came an hour early that's why they look dirty???? Can this be grounds for supervised visits? Apparently this is his "normal" behavior? I could spit nails right now! Quoting: Pink Taco first of all: stop ranting. please. your girls might think you are angry with them, too, even if you keep saying your just angry about their daddy. they might think they´ve done something wrong. your girls won´t like mommy being angry about daddy, because they love both of you - and they don´t understand why you are angry about him. they don´t want you to be angry at each other. It´s hard enough for them to have no parents as it should be: mom+dad together living with them. ok? so if you really love your girls, keep calm. are your girls happy with the time spent with their father? had they some quality time together? did they eat properly? having fun, playing games and so on? then: that is all what counts! it´s just 2 days they have with their daddy! if not: talk with your ex. _calmly_ !!! no rant. ranting gets you nowhere, but hurts your 2 girls most - in the end. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1466838 United States 01/01/2012 09:44 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | They were in the same clothes I sent them in. My 9 year old's hair is so tangled it may need to be cut. The 2 year old has 15 mosquito bites on her little legs and they have not brushed their teeth the whole weekend. I am furious. My 9 year old told me that they don't have to take baths until right before I come and that since I came an hour early that's why they look dirty???? Can this be grounds for supervised visits? Apparently this is his "normal" behavior? I could spit nails right now! Quoting: Pink Taco Document everything. In the meantime, teach the nine year old how to take care of herself and her sibling. Watch her brush her hair, brush her teeth and teach her to do this for her sister. A nine year old should be able to do this unless she is just rebellious. You can teach her to bathe the two year old as well or at least sponge her off. Tell them why it is important to keep clean and change their clothes each day even if no one makes them. And send mosquito repellent with them or whatever you think they might need when they visit their dad until you can get the situation under control. Just do the best you can do. BTW, if she won't take care of brushing her hair tell her you will just cut it short. If she wants that then cut it and if she doesn't then she will make sure her hair is brushed. Maybe this is a good time to teach personal responsibility to the oldest since her dad isn't doing anything for them. Wow -- you sound as uptight as the OP. I feel sorry for men these days. Is it too much for a dad to make sure his kids are bathed and teeth brushed each day let alone having them change their clothes? It only takes a few minutes to do these things especially when the oldest can do these things for herself. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 7827869 United States 01/01/2012 09:46 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Children need the cooperation of both parents for their long term stability. Their needs are as important as yours so it would be wise to not use them as a tool to make yourself feel better about things. It's sad to see children used as pawns in between the war of two adults. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2704006 My ladies have NEVER been tools. I don't need anything from him. He is a part of their lives because I feel it is best for children to have healthy relationships with both parents. There is no battle here. He never wanted custody and I never wanted money. I love my girls and am just trying to do what I can to make them healthy, well adjusted, moral adults. Yes its all about you and how you feel. The kids are just as much his as they are yours. Why the hell do women act as if its some privilege that they allow the fathers of their children to see them? But hey its not your fault you were born in a society that tolerates such single minded selfish bullshit. |
-pathfinder-
User ID: 6740014 United States 01/01/2012 09:47 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 945308 New Zealand 01/01/2012 09:47 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | They were in the same clothes I sent them in. My 9 year old's hair is so tangled it may need to be cut. The 2 year old has 15 mosquito bites on her little legs and they have not brushed their teeth the whole weekend. I am furious. My 9 year old told me that they don't have to take baths until right before I come and that since I came an hour early that's why they look dirty???? Can this be grounds for supervised visits? Apparently this is his "normal" behavior? I could spit nails right now! Quoting: Pink Taco Document everything. In the meantime, teach the nine year old how to take care of herself and her sibling. Watch her brush her hair, brush her teeth and teach her to do this for her sister. A nine year old should be able to do this unless she is just rebellious. You can teach her to bathe the two year old as well or at least sponge her off. Tell them why it is important to keep clean and change their clothes each day even if no one makes them. And send mosquito repellent with them or whatever you think they might need when they visit their dad until you can get the situation under control. Just do the best you can do. BTW, if she won't take care of brushing her hair tell her you will just cut it short. If she wants that then cut it and if she doesn't then she will make sure her hair is brushed. Maybe this is a good time to teach personal responsibility to the oldest since her dad isn't doing anything for them. Wow -- you sound as uptight as the OP. I feel sorry for men these days. Is it too much for a dad to make sure his kids are bathed and teeth brushed each day let alone having them change their clothes? It only takes a few minutes to do these things especially when the oldest can do these things for herself. Yes what a terrible mother she is she has not taught her 9 year old daughter how to go to the bathroom and clean her own teeth. Shame on you ... we better sent the police around right away. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1466838 United States 01/01/2012 09:50 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 8096291 Canada 01/01/2012 09:52 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | They were in the same clothes I sent them in. My 9 year old's hair is so tangled it may need to be cut. The 2 year old has 15 mosquito bites on her little legs and they have not brushed their teeth the whole weekend. I am furious. My 9 year old told me that they don't have to take baths until right before I come and that since I came an hour early that's why they look dirty???? Can this be grounds for supervised visits? Apparently this is his "normal" behavior? I could spit nails right now! Quoting: Pink Taco Document everything. In the meantime, teach the nine year old how to take care of herself and her sibling. Watch her brush her hair, brush her teeth and teach her to do this for her sister. A nine year old should be able to do this unless she is just rebellious. You can teach her to bathe the two year old as well or at least sponge her off. Tell them why it is important to keep clean and change their clothes each day even if no one makes them. And send mosquito repellent with them or whatever you think they might need when they visit their dad until you can get the situation under control. Just do the best you can do. BTW, if she won't take care of brushing her hair tell her you will just cut it short. If she wants that then cut it and if she doesn't then she will make sure her hair is brushed. Maybe this is a good time to teach personal responsibility to the oldest since her dad isn't doing anything for them. Wow -- you sound as uptight as the OP. I feel sorry for men these days. Is it too much for a dad to make sure his kids are bathed and teeth brushed each day let alone having them change their clothes? It only takes a few minutes to do these things especially when the oldest can do these things for herself. Well, if the eldest child can do these things on her own, why is the father being blamed for them not being done? I sometimes go a few days without taking a shower and I have also been known to wear the same clothes for a few days in a row (OH, THE HORROR!), and from what I can tell the world didn't come to an end and no-one threatened me with a court order to brush my teeth. The mother's outrage is obviously overblown and in direct proportion to how much she detests the husband, likely due to unresolved feelings for him. The anger is misplaced and it's going to work against her, the husband, and the children. She needs to see herself for what she's become. STEP BACK, LADY, AND LOOK HARD -- BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE! |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 945308 New Zealand 01/01/2012 09:54 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Well, if the eldest child can do these things on her own, why is the father being blamed for them not being done? I sometimes go a few days without taking a shower and I have also been known to wear the same clothes for a few days in a row (OH, THE HORROR!), and from what I can tell the world didn't come to an end and no-one threatened me with a court order to brush my teeth. The mother's outrage is obviously overblown and in direct proportion to how much she detests the husband, likely due to unresolved feelings for him. The anger is misplaced and it's going to work against her, the husband, and the children. She needs to see herself for what she's become. STEP BACK, LADY, AND LOOK HARD -- BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE! Quoting: Anonymous Coward 8096291 Yip she has become a bitter and twisted angry old fuck! |
phoenixe
User ID: 7684680 Germany 01/01/2012 10:00 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I would also find out if the girls are having a good time and if they are getting fed enough. If they are then just teach the oldest basic hygiene for her and her sister and let it go. Two days of being grungy really won't hurt them. But I understand the frustration you are feeling about their dad. Just pick your battles and this might not be a good one to go after unless the girls are really being neglected like going hungry. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1466838 ^^ exactly what I was talking about some posts before.. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 888734 Australia 01/01/2012 10:03 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Upheval
User ID: 8040184 Brazil 01/01/2012 10:03 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Pink Taco
(OP) User ID: 1540959 United States 01/01/2012 10:05 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Last Edited by BooBooKitty on 01/02/2012 01:03 AM An investment in knowledge pays the best interest. -Benjamin Franklin |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 8093414 Australia 01/01/2012 10:07 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1466838 United States 01/01/2012 10:08 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I think OP may have realized she overreacted and has calmed down. Probably seeing a mess of tangled hair sent her over the edge.LOL Just keep the girl's hair short if she can't be bothered with taking care of it. She is probably seeing that a nine year old should have some accountability as well. Lots of nine year old girls have babysat and taken care of younger kids and I am sure hers can too. It is more important at this point that the kids had a good time with dad. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 945308 New Zealand 01/01/2012 10:08 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | They do have "fun" there. He puts them in front of a tv. The oldest is now old enough to play video games with him so they do all weekend. I do not agree but, it is not something I have a say in. I am simply frustrated that their basic daily hygiene is of no concern to him. I pack their bags each visit and include everything they need. He has no obligation to purchase clothes, toiletries or even food. I am terribly considerate to him in that I even provide transportation because in the past he has claimed that it is not convenient. I do all of these things because the girls want to see him. Quoting: Pink Taco Sounds like a great dad. You should just be grateful and shut the hell up before he tells you and them to just fuck off because he can't be fucked with your shit!!! |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 8097936 Spain 01/01/2012 10:08 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 888734 Australia 01/01/2012 10:09 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | They do have "fun" there. He puts them in front of a tv. The oldest is now old enough to play video games with him so they do all weekend. I do not agree but, it is not something I have a say in. I am simply frustrated that their basic daily hygiene is of no concern to him. I pack their bags each visit and include everything they need. He has no obligation to purchase clothes, toiletries or even food. I am terribly considerate to him in that I even provide transportation because in the past he has claimed that it is not convenient. I do all of these things because the girls want to see him. Quoting: Pink Taco You feel like you do everything and he is not stepping up to the plate, correct? |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 8098140 Australia 01/01/2012 10:09 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Why do you use that Avatar OP ? I guess it's not you. So why? And you lost me when you started calling your kids ""my ladies""..... just going overboard a bit aren't you? Men have no clue, probably shouldn't be looking after a 2 year old anyways..... been there, done that, glad it's over and the kids grew up fine, it's hard going but that's what divorce is - a total mess for everyone. |
Pink Taco
(OP) User ID: 1540959 United States 01/01/2012 10:10 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Last Edited by BooBooKitty on 01/02/2012 01:03 AM An investment in knowledge pays the best interest. -Benjamin Franklin |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 7788762 United States 01/01/2012 10:11 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1466838 United States 01/01/2012 10:12 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | In the winter, I agree. If it was summer and they were dirty and smelly it might be another issue. But then the nine year old can take care of herself and her sister in the bathing department. She could just fill a tub for the both of them and wash off and even brush their teeth while they are in there. |
Pink Taco
(OP) User ID: 1540959 United States 01/01/2012 10:13 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Last Edited by BooBooKitty on 01/02/2012 01:04 AM An investment in knowledge pays the best interest. -Benjamin Franklin |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 8097936 Spain 01/01/2012 10:13 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 8085226 Australia 01/01/2012 10:13 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I sometimes go a few days without taking a shower and I have also been known to wear the same clothes for a few days in a row (OH, THE HORROR!), and from what I can tell the world didn't come to an end and no-one threatened me with a court order to brush my teeth. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 8096291 MOUNTIES, MOVE IN!!! TIME TO ENFORCE THE "TAKE A BATH AND BRUSH YOUR TEETH ACT" AGAiNST THIS GROTTY CANUCK!!! |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 888734 Australia 01/01/2012 10:15 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | They do have "fun" there. He puts them in front of a tv. The oldest is now old enough to play video games with him so they do all weekend. I do not agree but, it is not something I have a say in. I am simply frustrated that their basic daily hygiene is of no concern to him. I pack their bags each visit and include everything they need. He has no obligation to purchase clothes, toiletries or even food. I am terribly considerate to him in that I even provide transportation because in the past he has claimed that it is not convenient. I do all of these things because the girls want to see him. Quoting: Pink Taco You feel like you do everything and he is not stepping up to the plate, correct? Yes. I am so afraid that he just want's the kids to disappear. They need happy interaction with both parents. They ask to see him. You and him seperated for reasons. Is he still displaying the characteristics that led to the seperation? |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1466838 United States 01/01/2012 10:15 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | They do have "fun" there. He puts them in front of a tv. The oldest is now old enough to play video games with him so they do all weekend. I do not agree but, it is not something I have a say in. I am simply frustrated that their basic daily hygiene is of no concern to him. I pack their bags each visit and include everything they need. He has no obligation to purchase clothes, toiletries or even food. I am terribly considerate to him in that I even provide transportation because in the past he has claimed that it is not convenient. I do all of these things because the girls want to see him. Quoting: Pink Taco Lots of parents and kids bond over video games. It is what kids do these days. And it is not everyday they are doing this. Just let him do dad things with them. Maybe they will learn about sports with him as well. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 945308 New Zealand 01/01/2012 10:15 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | They do have "fun" there. He puts them in front of a tv. The oldest is now old enough to play video games with him so they do all weekend. I do not agree but, it is not something I have a say in. I am simply frustrated that their basic daily hygiene is of no concern to him. I pack their bags each visit and include everything they need. He has no obligation to purchase clothes, toiletries or even food. I am terribly considerate to him in that I even provide transportation because in the past he has claimed that it is not convenient. I do all of these things because the girls want to see him. Quoting: Pink Taco You feel like you do everything and he is not stepping up to the plate, correct? Yes. I am so afraid that he just want's the kids to disappear. They need happy interaction with both parents. They ask to see him. Your driving him away you silly cow! ... if the kids lose their dad it will be YOUR fault! Just shut the hell up already!!! |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 6764 United States 01/01/2012 10:16 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | A weekend? When did you take the kids there.. Saturday morning? When did you pick them up.. Sunday afternoon? So your horror amounts to one skipped bath? You have to be kidding. I bet you were hell to live with. I hope you lighten up a bit for the "ladies" sake. Thank God, that they have a daddy to have fun with, take a deep breath, smile, and get over yourself. BTW The person who told you to document this and take him to court, does not have your best interest at heart. The court will question your sanity... has do I. |
-pathfinder-
User ID: 6740014 United States 01/01/2012 10:17 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Pink Taco
(OP) User ID: 1540959 United States 01/01/2012 10:18 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Last Edited by BooBooKitty on 01/02/2012 01:04 AM An investment in knowledge pays the best interest. -Benjamin Franklin |